Duty Bound
by Alaythia
Summary: Elissa Cousland never wanted to be a Grey Warden but when her life shatters she must find the strength to carry on and do what must be done.
1. Chapter 1

"Auntie!" Oren vaulted down the hill towards his Aunt Elissa Cousland. She met him with a laugh picking him up and twirling him around. His brown eyes gleamed with innocence and happiness. His hair was getting longer and reminded Elissa of his fathers.

"Hello half-pint," she hugged him.

She looked up and saw Fergus her brother smiling at her. She had returned from Denerim when hearing her father and brother were called to war. Fergus's chocolate hair was windblown across his forehead and worry edged his brown eyes. He took after their father in looks and she took after their mother. She was his opposite with her sparkling blue eyes and golden blonde hair.

Fergus was a warrior like their father, even their mother claimed to be a battle maiden. Elissa preferred the bow and arrow to being up close and personal with an opponent. But because every fight didn't guarantee she'd always be able to keep her distance she learned the finesse of duel dagger combat. Her duty in life was not to fight in battles however, it was to make a strong alliance with another noble family. She had put off that duty as long as possible but she was getting older and soon no one would be looking at her to be a bride.

"How was your trip?" Fergus asked.

"It was uneventful. I bought some silk in the market place for a new dress. Mother shall be pleased about that. Oh and…" Elissa reached behind her and grabbed a wooden sword handing it to Oren. "This is for you!"

Oren's eyes lit up as he took the sword from her and took off running battling imaginary foes.

Fergus and Elissa stood watching him both remembering what it was like to be that age. Elissa moved towards Fergus and put her arm through his. "So the darkspawn have returned?"

"So the King has said in his message," Fergus sighed. "It worries me Elissa, to leave them alone."

Elissa's heart went out to him. Fergus and her had always been close, and now she was at a loss of words as to what to tell him. He hadn't left his family for longer than a week, two at the most since having Oren. "Maybe it will be over before you even get there, then you can just turn around and march back north."

"I hope so," Fergus sighed. "So I am told Lady Landra and her son Dairren are here."

Elissa let out a groan. "And I suppose mother is going to make sure I spend as much time with Dairren as possible."

"It could be worse," Fergus said.

"Oh yeah? You aren't the one being thrown at every available man in the kingdom," Elissa sighed.

"I was there myself before I met Oriana, Lissa. Trust me I know what you are going through. Just take it easy on him, he is riding as father's second," Fergus said. They started walking up the hill towards the castle.

Barking erupted from the castle the great doors opened and out ran a big brown blur.

"This is where I step aside," Fergus dropped Elissa's arm and stepped away just in time for the dog to collide with his mistress.

Elissa tried to brace herself for contact with the beast but really he outweighed her by more than fifty pounds. As soon as Lucky collided with her she fell down rolling back down the hill with the dog chasing after her. Elissa was glad she had changed into her armor when traveling because if she had been in a dress she'd have exposed more of herself then would be proper.

Elissa sat up dazed when she stopped rolling she heard laughter all around her but didn't have time to see who was laughing because Lucky decided he needed to smother her with slobbery dog kisses.

"Ugh! Lucky stop I already took a bath today!" She wiped her face and looked at the mabari hound. He had imprinted on her not even a year ago and when he was not able to accompany her on trips he moped until she returned. He was her constant companion and scared unwanted suitors. "How is my big boy today?"

Fergus shook his head watching his sister go into pamper mode. "The dog is a war hound Lissa not a lap dog!"

Lucky turned his head and growled at Fergus. He held up his hands in defeat.

Elissa laughed, "He can be both!"

She stood up and looked around her father's soldiers were around preparing for war and the sight of their mistress in the dirt with her hound brought smiles to their eyes. She shrugged and laughed anything that kept their minds off the march to war was good in her mind even if it meant her looking like a fool.

She saw a red headed soldier hanging out in the background with a smile on his face. Elissa bent down next to Lucky and whispered into his ear. Lucky turned and vaulted up the hill towards the red headed soldier. As soon as the poor man knew the dog was going for him he let out a shout and ran around the courtyard.

Elissa burst out laughing and Oren and Fergus came to her side. "Lissa, call the dog off of poor Roland."

Elissa looked up at Fergus who was trying not to laugh. "Oh you're no fun!"

"It's been a month since he put those worms in your hair!"

"I can still feel them squirming," Elissa shuddered and sighed. "Very well, Lucky!"

The mabari hound halted in his hunt and looked back at Elissa cocking his head. "Leave him alone we've had our fun."

The men started laughing at the sight of Ser Roland Gilmore doubled over catching his breath. Elissa walked over gracefully to him and patted him on the back. "Hello my good friend!"

"Friend? That's what you call me when you sick your hound on me?"

"You put worms in my hair!"

"A month ago, and you've paid me back tenfold!" Ser Gilmore straightened up and smiled. "Putting itching powder my undershirt, which by the way is not fun when you have chain mail on! I suffered for a week Elissa!"

Elissa smiled at her childhood friend and hugged him. He was as much a brother as Fergus was having been squired under her father since a very young age. "You Ser Gilmore need to learn the art of payback is a bitch!"

He laughed at that squeezing her. "It's good to have you back."

Elissa pulled away looking around at the preparations. "Sadly I hate that it was the call of war that brought me back. I was having so much fun in Denerim."

"I don't believe that for a minute!" Ser Gilmore said.

"I agree, you hate Denerim," Fergus came up beside them.

Elissa frowned, "It has its charms! Besides Arl Bryland wanted me to help tame his daughter Habren."

"Any luck?" Fergus asked.

"Maker no that girl is hopeless!" Elissa smiled. "She spends all her time in the market place throwing out insult after insult at all of her servants. The poor elves suffer the most. When I told her to curb her tongue she called me a churl! I swear I had to bite my tongue and force myself to the Gnawed Noble Tavern to stop myself from hitting the girl straight in the mouth. She's been listening to her father's guards so any new insult she hears she uses."

"She's really that bad?" Ser Gilmore laughed.

"I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy!" Elissa sighed. "Arl Bryland is going to have to bribe someone to take her off his hands, mark my words!"

The doors opened and Oren saw who walked out. "Mama!"

Elissa smiled and watched her nephew run to his Antivan mother. Oriana smiled and hugged her son until she saw the wooden sword he carried and looked up glaring at Fergus. Fergus in all his might did the only thing he could think of he pointed at Elissa.

Elissa poked him in the side with her elbow, "Thanks, Fergus, that was so chivalrous of you!"

"Elissa, you know we don't want him running around with a sword," Oriana said.

"I know, I'm sorry I just saw it and thought he'd love it. When the time comes Oriana he'll have to learn to protect his home I thought starting him out on a wooden sword would be better then a blunted one." Elissa smiled apologetically. She always seemed to be walking on eggshells where Oriana was concerned. She liked her well enough but Oriana didn't agree with the things Elissa did.

Oriana sighed and looked down at Oren. "I just fear he's growing up to fast."

Fergus went over to his wife and pulled her into his side placing a kiss upon her forehead. Fergus married for love. Her father had promised her the same but so far she hadn't found anyone up to her standards. Oriana had been a wealthy trader's daughter out of Antiva but she did not grow up there so she lacked the thick accent that marked a person as Antivan.

"It is good to have you home though sister," Oriana said. "With all the preparations going on it is good to have the whole family together before the march."  
>Elissa smiled sadly. War was a fact in life, they were always preparing for war whether it was training or making alliances. Since the Orlesian occupation no one in Fereldan had grown lazy. It took the people of Fereldan to lose their homes once for them to be ever prepared for future attempts.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Three days after Elissa arrived home was to be the day the men marched. She spent as much time as possible with her father and brother. She didn't wish to go to war but she wished she were riding along side them. She knew little about Blights and darkspawn, but the thought of her family falling to them was too much to think about at times.

Her father, Teryn Bryce Cousland decided to wait for his friend Arl Rendon Howe to begin the march south. Showing a unified front to King Cailan was important since five years ago when King Maric died people had talked about making Bryce king. Bryce stood behind King Cailan though, and had become a trusted adviser to the young king.

Eleanor, Elissa's mother had often jokes with Elissa if Queen Anora hadn't been promised to the boy she could have been Cailan's wife. Elissa wasn't a fool. She had seen Cailan and a marriage to him wouldn't have been a hardship. But alas he was married. Elissa heard stories about Cailan and his rule, and it was Anora who did the ruling while Cailan charmed the nobles and commoners.

When Arl Howe arrived, Bryce summoned his daughter to the hall. Elissa was out shooting targets with her bow while the castle was in an uproar. Since she was not going south she stayed out of everyone's way. When word came that her father wanted to see her she went straight to the hall. When she saw Arl Howe she pasted on a smile, he was a charmer and reminded her of a snake at times but he was her father's oldest friend.

"Ah I didn't see you there Pup," Bryce came forward and kissed Elissa on the cheek. "And I see by your attire you've been out practicing."

Elissa shrugged, "It keeps my mind off of the matters at hand."

Bryce saw the shadows under Elissa's eyes and knew she hadn't been getting much sleep. She had always been a worrier but kept her thoughts to her self.

"Howe you remember my daughter," Bryce said remembering his guest.

Howe smiled at the girl in a way that made Elissa's skin crawl. "Of course I do, you are looking as lovely as ever my dear, and it is good to see you."  
>Elissa found herself wanting to back away, the way he was looking at her just didn't sit well. "It is good to see you as well Arl Howe, how is your family?"<p>

"They are well, staying in Amaranthine far away from the fighting. My son Thomas asked after you apparently he saw you at the Denerim Fair recently and hasn't been able to talk about anything else since. Perhaps next time I shall bring him with me."

Elissa paused, why was everyone suddenly rushing to match her up with a husband. "I was under the impression Thomas didn't like me," Elissa said.

"Oh you know these young people their minds are always changing," Arl Howe smiled.

Bryce laughed, "I fear my daughter will not be receptive Howe, she has her own mind these days. And Eleanor and I are determined to let her find her own way."

"Yes well I'm sure you'll have little trouble with her, she is quite talented I'm sure, one to watch," Howe smiled.

Elissa fought the urge to raise an eyebrow. He was acting rather smug and the way he looked at her and talked about her made her feel like a prized cow.

"Anyway Pup, I called you here for a reason," Bryce turned to his daughter and smiled. She was like her mother in so many ways it would break his heart when she left Highever.

"What is it Papa?" Elissa asked looking up at her father. She never called him father it was always Papa no matter how many times Eleanor tried to break her of the habit.

"While Fergus and I are away I'm leaving you in charge of the castle," Bryce said.

Elissa's jaw dropped open, why was he doing that, her mother was still going to be here and she was more suitable to the task. "Are you certain?"

Bryce laughed, "I wouldn't set you to the task unless I was sure you were more than capable of handling it. There will only be a small force left behind but you must keep peace in the region. "

"I'll do my best Papa," Elissa smiled.

"Good, that's what I like to hear. Howe's men are delayed however so we won't be setting off until the morning. But I'd like you to go tell Fergus to get our men on the road," Bryce sighed and looked down. Sending his son off without him by his side was hard but they'd meet up again at Ostagar.

"Was there anything else?" Elissa asked.

"Yes, we have a guest," Bryce said. He turned to Perkins one of his personal guards. "Please show Duncan in."

Elissa hadn't heard about any guests showing up. Roland always told her if there was someone new around but she hadn't seen him all day.

A man walked into the hall dressed for war. Elissa studied his hardened face and found it very difficult not to back far away from the man. He walked with confidence and she knew he was very capable of handling every foe. He was staring directly at her and smiled. "Ah Duncan, I'd like you to meet my daughter Elissa and my friend Arl Howe. This is Duncan leader of the Grey Wardens in Fereldan."

"It is an honor to be a guest within your hall Teryn Cousland," Duncan bowed.

Grey Warden, Elissa searched her mind for anything she knew about them and wished that she had paid more attention when Scribe Aldous talked about them. She remembered they defeated the Blights of the past but that was about all she knew.

"Your lordship you didn't mention that a Grey Warden would be present," Howe said.

"Duncan arrived just recently unannounced, is there a problem?" Bryce asked.

"Of course not, but…but a guest of this stature requires certain protocol, I am at a disadvantage," Howe said looking down.

Elissa raised an eyebrow and wondered how this put him at a disadvantage. Grey Warden's weren't exactly on the level of royalty and he was as much a guest in Highever as the Warden was.

"We rarely have the pleasure of hosting one that is true, but Duncan is here on business," Bryce turned to Elissa. "Pup, Brother Aldous has told you who the Grey Wardens are I hope?"

"Of course, they are an order of warriors who fight darkspawn," Elissa said looking at Duncan again warily. If he was there on business that meant he was there for one thing only.

"Duncan is looking for recruits before joining us and his fellow wardens in the south. I believe he has his eye on Ser Gilmore," Bryce smiled.

Elissa smiled at the thought of Roland becoming a Grey Warden he would love that.

"If I might be so bold, I would suggest your daughter is an excellent candidate," Duncan said.

Elissa took a step back, she could fight but that didn't mean she wanted to. Especially with something like darkspawn, she wanted to leave that to the people who could stomach monsters.  
>"Honor though that might be this is my daughter we are talking about," Bryce stepped in front of Elissa blocking her from Duncan. He wanted to protect her from the life he had heard Warden's lived. It was not what he wanted for her.<p>

Elissa felt the tension in the room. She cleared her throat, "I have no interest in becoming a Grey Warden."

"Did you hear that, my daughter is not interested so unless you intend to invoke the Right of Conscription?" Bryce left the question hanging in the air.

Elissa felt sorry for Duncan but noticed he was taking it in stride he nodded. "Have no fear, as much as we need good recruits I have no intention of forcing the issue."

Duncan smiled at Elissa and she nodded taking a sigh of relief.

"Elissa can you ensure that Duncan's requests are seen to while I'm gone?" Bryce looked at his daughter.

She smiled, "Of course."

"Good in the mean time go find Fergus and tell him to lead the troops to Ostagar ahead of me," Bryce sighed.

Elissa studied her father the coming war was weighing heavily on him. He was no stranger to war. Elissa could only imagine what he was going through.

"Are you trying to get rid of me Papa?" Elissa asked raising an eyebrow at him and cocked the side of her mouth up in a half smile.

Bryce laughed, "We must talk about the battle in the south Pup. We'll talk again before we leave now be a good lass and do as I ask."

Elissa knew a dismissal when she heard one. She turned to address their guests, "Arl Howe I hope your men being delayed is nothing serious."

"Poor weather I believe, nothing you need worry about," Howe smiled.

"Well I just want to wish you well just in case I don't have a chance to speak to you before you depart," Elissa smiled.

"Oh…" Howe looked taken back. "Thank you that is quite unnecessary."

Elissa raised her eyebrows at that and looked at her father he shrugged. Then she turned to Duncan, "Good evening Duncan."

With that she turned from the small group and walked out of the hall. No sooner had she left it she heard the barking of Lucky echoing through the halls.

Ser Gilmore came running up to her out of breath. "There you are!"

"What did you do to my dog?" Elissa raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.  
>"I did nothing! Your mother asked me to find you to get your dog out of Nan's hair." Ser Gilmore sighed.<p>

"Is he in the larder again?" Elissa asked. Nan was now the cook and in control of the kitchen, before that she used to be Elissa's nurse.

"You know your dog, he always manages to get in there," Ser Gilmore shrugged.

"I suppose we should go do something about that," Elissa sighed.

"That would be wise, considering Nan is threatening to leave," he smiled.

"She would do no such thing!" Elissa smiled. "Where is my mother anyway?"

"She is entertaining Lady Landra and her son in the atrium," Ser Gilmore smirked at the mention of Lady Landra's son.

Elissa frowned she had done her best to avoid being alone with Dairren since returning home. However it didn't stop her mother or Lady Landra from pushing him onto her.

"Elissa can I ask you, is it true a Grey Warden is here?" Ser Gilmore asked looking excited about the guest.

"Yes it is, his name is Duncan he's in talking with my father as we speak," Elissa smiled. "You seem rather excited by that Roland."

"Is it true he's asking about me?"

"Yes it is, he intends to test you for recruitment," Elissa smiled and looped her arm through his and continued to walk towards the kitchens.

"Maker's breath can you imagine me a Grey Warden?" Roland laughed.

"You'd be a fabulous Grey Warden! Do you know much about the order?" Elissa asked.

"I only know once you join them your old life is over there's no going back," Roland sighed.

Elissa was saddened about the thought of losing her friend to the Wardens but he deserved more than to be just a knight in her father's service. "Well I hope you'd come back and visit at least."

"Oh I will," Roland said. "Just to put worms in your hair at the very least."

"Don't make me knock you over Roland, you know how bad that would look if you were bested by me when being tested to join the Wardens!" Elissa threatened with a laugh.

"What if he tries to recruit you Elissa?"

"I don't want to be a Warden, Roland. I like my life now. I don't know the first thing about battle or darkspawn. I can shoot a bow but that's about it."

"That's not true. You know more than you let on. But I suppose you have a number of options," Roland said.

"Anyway father told him no," Elissa sighed.

"He could change his mind, Warden's are notorious for doing what must be done. Scribe Aldous told me once that they burnt an entire village to keep it out of the hands of darkspawn."

Elissa paused and looked up at Ser Gilmore, "You mean they'll kill people in order to save them?"

"If they must," Roland nodded. "Come now Elissa, lets go collect your hound."

But Elissa couldn't get that thought out of her head. Why kill people when you are trying to save them? It made no sense to her. She'd be an awful Warden she'd always be trying to save everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

Nan was screaming at Adney and Cath the two elves that worked with her in the kitchen. Elissa winced, the poor things. It should be her being yelled at. Elissa studied Nan who had her white hair pulled back tight in a bun. She remembered the days in the nursery with Nan. She had been a handful growing up. Always wanting to follow Fergus around, and always getting in trouble. But Nan was a constant in her life and she was glad her father kept her on when she had no longer needed her.

As soon as Nan spotted Elissa and Roland she turned her ire on them. "You! Get your bloody mongrel out of my larder. I swear that beast needs to be put down."

Elissa winced, she loved Lucky he just grew bored. So he did things like get into the larder or put half eaten rodents in people's shoes. Nan was pushed to her limit lately though with all the preparations going on. It didn't help matters that Nan's nephew James was one of the soldiers riding to war.

"I'm sorry he's bothering you Nan," Elissa smiled apologetically. "I'll deal with him."

"Just get him gone, I have enough to worry about," Nan's growl softened.

Elissa and Roland entered the larder to find Lucky barking at a corner. Elissa sighed crossing her arms looking at her dog. "Why must you pester Nan so Lucky?"

Lucky turned and barked happily at her then returned to barking at the wall. Elissa frowned.

"I think he's trying to tell you something," Roland sighed. "Wait do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Elissa asked looking at Roland.

Before he could answer Elissa felt something giant skitter across her boot. She looked down and let out a scream jumping on the nearest table. Rats emerged almost from every corner and Lucky started attacking with the help of Roland. Elissa stayed on the table away from the creepy rodents. Shouting out when a new one emerged and shouting, "Kill the damn things!"

When the rats were all dead, Roland burst out laughing and doubled over from it.

"Shut up!" Elissa gasped. "You know I hate rats."

"And worms, and spiders and everything creepy crawly," Roland laughed. "Dear maker you should have seen your face. And that scream, that was priceless," Roland wiped the tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

"You Ser Gilmore are not much of a knight, what with laughing at a lady in distress!" Elissa growled.

"Aw Elissa, my lady, forgive me. I did not mean to offend," Roland straightened up and helped Elissa off the table. "But you have to admit it was funny."

Elissa's glare broke into a smile, "Yes it was."

Elissa's attention turned back to the rats. "Maker those are huge!"

"Yes, those are rats from the Kocari Wilds," Roland went to the corner. "Looks like Lucky found their way in."

"How in the makers name did they get up here? We're days from the Wilds," Elissa shuddered.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Best not to tell Nan though, she's upset as it is," Roland turned to her and smiled.

"Yes because she'll just overlook the fact that there are bloody rats dead on the floor of her larder," Elissa shrugged. "Right, totally not obvious."

"Yes well have fun with that, your father has me preparing for more of the arl's men," Roland smiled and opened the door. "Good day my lady."

Elissa shook her head as Roland mockingly bowed to her. If she could she'd throw a potato at him but he had disappeared before she had the chance.

She looked down at Lucky, "Put on your best I'm sorry face mister because Nan wanted to shoot you."

Lucky whined and cocked his head at her. Elissa took a deep breath and walked out of the larder to face Nan.

"There he is licking his chops and looking as brazen as he pleases. No doubt he's been eating my roast," Nan exclaimed.

Elissa shrugged, "He's not so bad Nan, just a dog being a dog."

"That lazy dog is worth more trouble than he's worth! He is!" Nan exclaimed but Elissa knew she wasn't serious everyone loved Lucky.

Lucky whined and gave Nan one of his more pathetic looks.

"Oh no don't you dare look at me with those sad eyes. I'm immune to your so-called charms," Nan crossed her arms. Lucky persisted until Nan caved. Elissa hid her smile just as Nan gave him some pork bits.

"Don't say Nan never gave you anything," she told Lucky.

Elissa smiled at Nan, "Thank you Nan."

"How have you been my lady? Been keeping out of trouble and being well behaved?" Nan studied Elissa.

"Now why would I say anything but yes?" Elissa laughed.

"Ha, clever whelp that mouth is going to get you in trouble one day," Nan laughed.

"And you'll be there to tell me you told me so, but not today Nan!" Elissa picked up an apple and bit into it. "I must be off, Fergus is leaving soon."

Nan lost her smile, "Yes go say goodbye to your brother. Wish him well for me if I went to see him off I'd be useless to everyone."

Elissa paused and smiled sadly at Nan, "I will."

She took off and before leaving she heard, "Oh mistress! There are rats in the larder! Big ones!"

Elissa took off running with a laugh and rounded the corner to the atrium swallowing the last bit of her apple. She composed herself because the atrium wasn't empty.

Her mother was sitting with Lady Landra, Landra's lady in waiting Iona, and Dairren. When they saw Elissa approaching they stopped talking and Dairren stood up.

"There is my darling daughter," Eleanor smiled.

"Hello mother," Elissa kissed her mother's cheek.

"I take it by the presence of Lucky everything is better in the kitchens?" Eleanor asked raising her eyebrows in a motherly fashion.

"Yes mother, Nan is back to working as we speak," Elissa smiled.

"Good you've always had a way with her," Eleanor smiled. "We were just talking about you dear girl."

"Oh?" Elissa smiled and looked around at her mother's guest. "Nothing bad I hope?"  
>"Of course not my lady," Dairren smiled at her.<p>

"We were just remembering how I spent an entire evening trying to convince you to marry my son," Lady Landra laughed.

Elissa had been trying to forget about that night. But at that particular event it was either listen to Lady Landra or be flirted with by Bann Teagan. She chose Lady Landra, not that she had anything against Bann Teagan but the man could lay it on thick.

"And you made a very poor case of it," Dairren said to his mother.

"I mentioned you have no prospects as of yet," Eleanor said.

Elissa felt her face growing hot.

"Dairren still isn't married yet either you know," Lady Landra hinted.

"Don't listen to her," Dairren smiled nervously. He seemed more uncomfortable by this discussion than Elissa was. "You're looking beautiful today my lady."

Elissa looked down at her light armor. Her long hair was pulled back into a single braid. She wasn't dirty but she thought she was far from beautiful at the moment. She wondered how he could possibly think that.

"Thank you, Dairren," Elissa smiled up at him.

"You'd think my daughter's looks would make it easier to find her a match not harder," Eleanor sighed.

Elissa shifted uncomfortably.

"Perhaps she just has a mind of her own your ladyship, you should be proud," Dairren winked at Elissa.

He wasn't usually one to stand up for her. Elissa smiled back at him.

"Proud doesn't get me more grandchildren," Eleanor sighed.

"Maker's breath mother, first there must be a husband and then children. Lets not get ahead of ourselves. Besides I intimidate men or so Habren told me so," Elissa shrugged.

"Why does she think that my lady?" Dairren asked.

"I haven't a clue. Perhaps it's because I'm a Cousland. Not many will pursue me because of that, or if they do they do it in a round about way" Elissa sighed. She wanted the man to come after her not the other way around.

Dairren nodded and looked at his mother. "Perhaps when I return from the south we could talk again and get to know one another," Dairren looked at Elissa.

Elissa was taken back. At least he could pick up on her subtle hints.

"I'd like that," Elissa smiled and for the first time she realized she didn't mind getting to know Dairren. He wasn't that bad on the eyes either, he had ginger hair and brown eyes and full lips that were often smiling.

"I think I'll retire until supper," Lady Landra smiled and looked at Elissa. "Good evening your ladyship."

Dairren looked at Iona, "Perhaps we should retire to the study."

Iona nodded and stood up. Dairren turned back to Elissa, "It was a pleasure seeing you again."

Elissa felt her cheeks grow hot, when they were out of range Eleanor cleared her throat. "Well, now I'm glad Dairren finally decided to be more assertive."

"So it was him this whole time that was fishing for information through his mother?" Elissa asked.

"Well you are right about one thing you do intimidate men," Eleanor smiled. "He does have good taste if I might say so but then again I am your mother so I am biased. You are very beautiful my dear and you are a Cousland. Many nobles respect you, not just because of your name. So yes I think he would like you as a wife. But you have the final say of course."

"I promise to get to know him mama," Elissa sighed.

"That's all I ask for now," Eleanor put her arm around Elissa. "Are you on your way to see Fergus?"

"Yes, papa wants him to lead the troops to Ostagar ahead of him."

"So then it is true, Howe's men are delayed?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes, the man doesn't seem to be taking the darkspawn seriously, that worries me," Elissa sighed.

"I'm afraid not many will take it seriously Elissa, the King demands us to go and so we must answer the call," Eleanor sighed.

"I have a bad feeling about all this," Elissa admitted her fear.

"As do I, but your father and Fergus have their duty and we have ours," Eleanor faced her daughter. "So don't get any ideas about following them."

"I won't, I should go I've put off telling Fergus long enough," Elissa smiled.

"I love you dear girl you know that right?" Eleanor asked.

Elissa studied her mother and nodded, "Of course I do, and I love you too."

Elissa hugged her mother feeling the tension inside the tiny woman. Her mother always seemed so regal and strong to her. If her parents feared something she never saw it, but Elissa realized she had been more observant lately. When she was growing up frivolous things easily distracted her from what was really going on.

"You've grown up so fast, and now Bryce is leaving you in charge of the castle," Eleanor pulled back. "Okay go now, I've held you up long enough!"

Elissa grabbed her mother's hand and squeezed it to reassure her mother who looked like she was on the verge of tears. She made her way upstairs passing guards along the way. When she reached her brother's room she leaned against the wall watching the little family. Oriana was tucked into Fergus's side and she was crying. Oren was staring up at his father asking him to bring back a real sword and Fergus promising him the mightiest one he could find.

"Now dry your eyes love, I'll be back before you know it," Fergus said turning his attention to Oriana.

Jealousy and loneliness snuck up on Elissa. She wished she had someone instead of being the only Cousland that was alone. She'd be able to express her fears and wishes at the moment and not feel like she had to keep them bottled up.

Fergus turned and saw Elissa and he smiled at her. "Ah here's my little sister, have you come to see me off Lissa?"

"Of course," Elissa walked in.

Fergus turned to Oriana, "Now give me a kiss goodbye love."

Fergus kissed Oriana and Elissa cleared her throat when the kiss got steamy. "Let me know when you two are through."

Fergus pulled back from his wife laughing and looked down at Elissa. "Some day you'll meet a man who can handle you, mark my words."

"If you happen to find someone like that in Ostagar bring him home with you. Otherwise I don't believe such a man exists!" Elissa laughed.

Fergus laughed but noticed the shadows in Elissa's eyes. He didn't have time to worry about her. She'd be fine she always was, at least he hoped she would.

"Did you know there's a Grey Warden here?" Elissa changed the subject.

"Really? Was he riding a griffon?" Oren asked excitedly.

"Shh, Oren, griffons only exist in stories now," Oriana said. Elissa would have frowned if her brother hadn't looked at her at that moment. Oriana was always raining on Oren's imagination. Elissa on the other hand encouraged it. A little boy's imagination only lasts so long when you're a future heir.

"I heard, did he say why he's here?" Fergus asked.

"He is here recruiting, he plans to test Ser Gilmore," Elissa smiled.

"Good for him, I hope he makes it," Fergus smiled. "If I were a Grey Warden though I'd have my eyes on you."

Elissa made a face, "No, thank you."

Fergus laughed, "You don't want to be a Grey Warden?"

"No, most certainly not," Elissa shook her head.

"I couldn't picture you as one anyway, even though you're quick with a bow" Fergus laughed. Elissa wondered why her brother and Roland thought she'd make a good candidate. She had only killed once before and that was to save a little boy from his drunken father in the village. Even then she had been sick for a week for taking another life.

"Papa wants you to lead the men south without him," Elissa finally broke the news.

"So the arl's men are delayed? You'd think they were all walking backwards," Fergus sighed. "Well I best be on my way, so many darkspawn to behead so little time."

"I hope dear boy you planned on waiting for us before taking your leave," Fergus and Elissa turned to see Eleanor and Bryce walking into the room.

"Be well my son, I will pray for you everyday you are gone," Eleanor put her hand on Fergus's arm.

"Fergus will be fine," Elissa said trying to reassure herself as much as her mother.

"I keep telling you no darkspawn will ever best me," Fergus smiled.

"May the Maker sustain and preserve us all, watch over our sons, husbands and fathers and bring them safely back to us," Oriana prayed.

"And bring us some ale and wenches while you're at it…err for the men of course," Fergus laughed.

Elissa hid a smile leave it to Fergus to try to make a serious situation light.

"Fergus! You would say this in front of your mother?" Oriana sounded shocked.

"He's said worse in front of her," Elissa laughed.

"You're not helping," Oriana snapped.

Elissa shrugged, her brother was only trying to cheer everyone up. His method was a sad attempt but she appreciated the effort.

"What's a wench? Is that what you pull on to get the bucket out of the well?" Oren asked.

"A wench is a woman that pours the ale in a tavern Oren," Bryce thought more on the issue. "Or a woman who drinks a lot of ale."

Elissa bit back a laugh.

"Bryce! Maker's breath it's like living with a pair of small boys," Eleanor sighed. "Thankfully I have a daughter."

Fergus laughed, "I'll miss you mother dear. You'll take care of her won't you Elissa?"

"Oh mother doesn't need me taking care of her, she's quite capable of doing that on her own," Elissa smiled.

"It's true they should be sending her not me, she could scold all those darkspawn back into the deep roads," Fergus smiled down at Eleanor.

"Well I'm glad you find this funny," Eleanor sighed.

"Papa says you're looking out for us while he is away is that true Auntie?" Oren asked pulling on Elissa's hand.

"I'm afraid it won't be that exciting Oren," Elissa smiled kneeling down beside her nephew.

"What if the castle is attacked? Will there be dragons?" Oren's eyes grew wide in hopes something legends were made of would show up.

"Dragons are terrible creatures Oren. They eat people," Oriana gasped.

"Yeah, I want to see one!" Oren smiled. Elissa laughed at that she couldn't help it. Her nephew was the light of her life and she wanted to have five just like him when she finally married.

"This is your influence Fergus," Oriana sighed.

"What? I didn't say anything," Fergus feigned innocence.

"Will you teach me to use a sword Auntie?" Oren asked.

"I'm not much for swords, Oren," Elissa reminded him.

"What about poisons? Can I learn about that?" Oren smiled.

Elissa's faced drained of all the blood and she looked up at Fergus. She was speechless. Her knowledge of poisons wasn't well known.

"Or the bow, papa said you killed a man in the village from a hundred yards away," Oren continued.

"Maker's breath, Fergus what stories have you been telling your son about me," Elissa gasped.

"Now, now Oren listen to your mother about these things," Fergus cut in avoiding Elissa's glare.

"Ah but I never get to have any fun," Oren sighed.

"Don't worry Oren, you'll see a real sword up close soon, I promise," Fergus smiled.

"It's going to be a long day tomorrow, Pup you should get to bed," Bryce laughed.

Elissa looked up at him and nodded then turned back to her brother. He came forward and wrapped his arms around her. "Take care of everyone Lissa, and be here when I get back."

"Nan wanted me to tell you goodbye for her. Take care of yourself Ferg, please come back," Elissa whispered squeezing him tight.

He kissed her forehead and let her go, "Now off to bed with you."

"Yes well have fun on the march, in the cold," Elissa smiled. "Goodbye brother."

Bryce walked his daughter to the door. Elissa turned to him, "Will you two be all right down south?"

"We go to battle Elissa, not an afternoon tea," Bryce sighed.

Elissa looked away ashamed her question didn't sound so bad in her head but when she said it she knew it was not the smartest question she could have asked.

"I will say this, you are my darling daughter and I trust you to carry on the Cousland name no matter what happens," Bryce continued tilting Elissa's face up to look at him.

"Don't talk like that father," Elissa bit back tears.

"You've grown into a sensible woman pup, that much is clear. Now off to bed with you," Bryce smiled.

Elissa hugged her father and bid her family good night before making her way across the hall to her room with Lucky. Only there did she give into her fears and worries and let herself cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Elissa woke with a start. She thought she had heard a scream. She listened to the sounds of the castle but they were drowned out by Lucky who was barking and growling at the door. She got up and put on her robe. "What is it boy?"

Lucky continued to growl and bark and Elissa heard screaming again. She went over to her chest and grabbed her weapons and moved towards the door but it burst open before she got there.

"My lady! Help the castle is under attack," David one of the servants from the stables burst in.

He was cut off however when an arrow hit him in the back and he fell over in her door way. David looked up at Elissa and she watched him as he took his last breath his eyes staring up at her as if blaming her.

Shock ran through her, Lucky broke out of her room moving towards their attackers. Elissa shook the shock away and moved to look out of the door way notching an arrow in her bow. She saw three men. Lucky was already charging one man. She took aim and let an arrow fly. Its target fell over with an arrow in his eye and he was dead before he knew what had happened. She was about to load another arrow when the third man charged her hitting her in the face with his shield.

Pain flew through Elissa's face and she closed her eyes to the flame of it. Her bow went flying and she landed on the stone floor hard hitting her head hard. She stared up at the man dazed from the impact. Her eyesight was blurry but she saw the symbol on the man's shield. Amaranthine shields, why was Howe's men attacking them. She didn't have time to think, the man fell on top of her and smiled. His green eyes held the promise of pain. Elissa fought against his hold trying to get away from him screaming at the same time.

"I was ordered to kill you but I think I'll have my fun first," the soldier ripped open Elissa's robe revealing her undergarments. She fought harder against him but he outweighed her and the pain in her head slowed her movements.

"Lucky!" She yelled. The fear of being raped and the fear of dying powered her yell.

The dog had killed his target and was already running towards her when she called for him. He leaped and tore into the man's neck. The force of Lucky hitting the man knocked him off of Elissa and she scrambled up. She watched as Lucky shook the life out of the man by clamping onto his throat and not letting go until the death gurgle came from the man's throat.

Elissa closed her eyes and shuddered. She went to her chest and grabbed her armor and dressed quickly. Then she grabbed a pack and put emergency funds in along with poultices and some of her vials of poison she had stashed. Her family would need to make a run for it if men had come this far into her home. The castle was defenseless with their troops marching south.

"Come boy," she said at the door making sure to notch another arrow before moving into the hall.

She looked left and saw two men pounding on her parent's room door. Elissa took aim and brought one of the men down. The other charged at her and she grabbed her daggers and met him. "Where's the teryn?" He growled.

"Like I'd bleeding tell you? Where's your arl so I can slit his throat?" Elissa growled. She blocked the blow from the soldier's sword and ducked under his arm coming up behind him sinking her blade into the soldiers back. She watched him fall with pure rage running through her veins. Leaning down she cleaned her daggers off on his armor.

The door to her parent's room opened. "Darling!"

Elissa stood up and faced Eleanor looking her over. "Are you okay?"

"They never got through thanks to you, are you all right?" Eleanor studied her daughter. "You're face what happened?"

Elissa licked her mouth and found it bleeding. "I'm fine, mama what's going on?"

"A scream woke me up and when I came to see what it was there were men in the hall so I barricaded the door," Eleanor looked down and saw the shield one of the men had been carrying. "That's Howe's colors."

"Yes," Elissa nodded not being able to hide the venom in her tone. "We've been betrayed mother."  
>"You don't think his men were delayed on purpose?" Eleanor looked up at Elissa. "We need to find your father he never came to bed."<p>

"Are your weapons in your room?" Elissa asked.

"I'll get them," Eleanor nodded disappearing into her chamber and returning with a shield and mace that were made for her.

"We need to get Oriana and Orem," Elissa dreaded the thought the men had gotten their first but screaming had woken them up and not many were up on this level with the family.

"Maker's breath!" Eleanor ran towards Fergus's room. Elissa was right behind her. When the door slammed open Eleanor let out a gasp. Elissa followed and saw what her mother had seen.

Elissa wasn't as delicate as her mother. "NO!" Elissa screamed falling to the floor beside Oren. His lifeless body lay in a pool of blood. She picked up the wooden sword she had given him. It had lain next to the boy like he had tried to use it to fend off their attackers. Elissa looked over at Oriana. Oriana lay with her mouth open and eyes wide in shock. Her scream was the scream that woke Elissa up. She knew she'd always be haunted by that sound for the rest of her life.

Eleanor moved to Oriana's body and closed her eyes. Elissa heard her mother's sobs but she was lost in her own grief. Tears fell from her eyes. Laying the sword back down she put one hand on Oren's cheek and closed his eyes with the other. She picked him up gently hugging him to her chest. "I will make them pay," Elissa whispered stroking his lifeless hair.

"Howe's not even taking hostages he plans to kill all of us," Eleanor sobbed next to her. "Poor Fergus, come on I don't want to see this."

Eleanor tugged on Elissa's arm.

Elissa laid Oren down gently and placed a kiss on his forehead. She let her mother lead her out of the room. When they opened the door to leave the family chambers four more of Howe's men waited for them. Elissa didn't even think. She went for her daggers. She needed to see the eyes of the men who sought to murder her family. None of her kills were clean She wanted to make the men suffer as much as possible. Eleanor was of the same mind.

Elissa opened the door to Lady Landra's room and saw her dead on the floor. Eleanor shook her head, "If she hadn't have come, if she hadn't have been here…"

Elissa took her mothers hand, "Don't think about that now mama."

She didn't find Dairren's body but she had little hope that he lived. If Howe would kill Lady Landra he'd have no issue killing Dairren.

They moved down stairs. Eleanor stopped Elissa before they reached the atrium. "We need to find your father," Eleanor said.

"I want to find Howe," Elissa growled.

"Darling, the castle may already have fallen to him. Once we find your father we'll leave through the servant's exit. You and Fergus must live Elissa do you understand me, if you don't the Cousland line dies here." Eleanor stared at her daughter. Her daughter was a mess of emotions. Tears streaked down her bloody face.

"Is there nothing else we can do? We can't just let Howe win!" Elissa choked on a sob.

"He'll get what's coming to him darling, but you have to live to see it done," Eleanor said. "Lets get to the treasury we need the family blade, it should never fall into his hands. Then we'll go find your father."

Elissa nodded leading the way. They met more of Howe's soldiers fighting the castle guards. Elissa and Eleanor managed to rescue Michael and Sam two of their guards. The guards followed their ladies throughout the castle as they fought their way to the treasury. Elissa found the Cousland blade inside and attached it to her back. They went to the great hall and found it full of Howe's men fighting more castle guards. Elissa saw Roland in the middle of the group leading her father's men.

A mage stood out from the group and was aiming spells at her father's men. Elissa notched an arrow and aimed for the mage. Her arrow hit the woman in the middle of the eyes and she fell over. Eleanor charged in and so did Lucky while Elissa picked off the archers from a distance. Howe's men were all dead with in minutes.

Roland barked orders to the surviving guards to go man the gates. Elissa looked Roland over and saw he was banged. When he came over to them she rushed to him throwing her arms around him. He caught her and wrapped his arms around her shaking body.

"Your ladyship, my lady! You're both alive I was scared Howe's men had gotten through," Roland pulled away from Elissa looking down at her.

"They did…they did get through," Elissa sobbed looking away ashamed of her tears.

"They killed Oriana and Oren," Eleanor whispered. "Are you injured?"

"Don't worry about me my lady," Roland said. He looked around and knew he needed to get them to safety but the gates wouldn't hold for long and he couldn't leave the gates if he wanted to give them a chance to live.

"When I last saw the teryn he was injured, but he left to find you two. I think he went towards the servant's entrance in the larder," Roland said.

Elissa hesitated, she couldn't leave her home. She couldn't abandon her people. They were as much family as her blood was. She shook her head about to refuse to go.

"Elissa," Roland whispered.

Elissa looked up at him and studied him.

"You have a way out, you need to use it now," Roland whispered.

"Come with us," Elissa grabbed his hand. She didn't want to leave him. "Please."

"If I do that the gates won't hold," Roland hugged her and pushed her away to her mother. "Now go. Your father is waiting for you."

"Bless you Ser Gilmore, Maker watch over you," Eleanor said recognizing what he was doing.

"Maker watch over us all," he smiled sadly. "Now go."

"No," Elissa shook her head and went to grab onto him again. Roland pushed her to the door that led towards the kitchens and when Elissa, Eleanor and Lucky were through it he closed the door and locked it.

"No! Roland! No come with us!" Elissa banged on the door after he shut it.

Roland closed his eyes and ran to the gates and helped keep them shut against Howe's forces as they tried to break it down.

"Come on my dear, we need to go. Don't make his sacrifice mean nothing," Eleanor said.

Elissa reluctantly pulled away following her mother. In the servants quarters they helped servants escape. Then they made their way to the kitchens.

In the kitchen on the floor in front of the larder lay Nan. Elissa gasped. "No, mama…"

"It's okay Elissa, it'll be okay. Don't look at her, she was a good woman and deserved more than this but you cannot save her, you must avenge her," Eleanor put her hands on her daughters face and made Elissa look at her. "Do you understand?"

Eleanor saw the haunted look in Elissa's eyes. Her little girl would never be the same. It broke her heart knowing she couldn't protect her from this. "I understand," Elissa whispered.

"Good," Eleanor nodded leading the way into the larder.

The door burst open and inside Bryce was laying down holding his side. Eleanor and Elissa didn't see him at first it was so dark in the larder.

"There you both are," Bryce said through gritted teeth. The pain was almost too much for him to bear.

"Papa!" Elissa ran forward.

"Bryce!" Eleanor followed.

Elissa studied her father and moved his hand and looked at his wound. It was a stomach wound which was not good. She looked up into her father's eyes and shook her head. Tears began to flow again. Bryce looked at Elissa and saw she recognized a fatal wound.

"Maker's breath you're bleeding!" Eleanor examined the wound.

"Howe's men found me first, almost did me in right there," Bryce choked out.

"We need to get you out of here papa," Elissa whispered.

"I fear I won't survive the standing Pup," Bryce smiled sadly.

Elissa shook her head, "No, papa, don't say that you'll be fine."  
>"Oh my darling girl, if only your will could make it so," Bryce closed his eyes. "Someone must get to Fergus, tell him what has happened."<p>

"You can tell him yourself, papa," Elissa whispered putting her hand on her father's cheek.

"I wish I could," Bryce whispered.

"Bryce, no, the servant's entrance is right here we can escape together and find you healing magic," Eleanor said placing her hand on Bryce's.

"The castle is surrounded Eleanor, I will not make it," Bryce looked at her.

"I'm afraid what the teryn says is true. Howe's men have not yet discovered this entrance but they will," a new voice said.

Elissa and Eleanor turned to see Duncan the Grey Warden coming through the larder door.

"You are Duncan then? The Grey Warden?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes my lady, I helped the teryn get here and I went off in search of you two," Duncan looked at Elissa.

"Elissa helped me get here, Maker be praised," Eleanor said looking at her crying daughter. Her daughter had never seen battle. Elissa had killed before but it wasn't like this, it wasn't fighting for her life. She wanted to shield her daughter but she could not shield the harsh reality that their life had become that night.

"I am not surprised," Duncan said looking at Elissa as well. The girl was covered in blood and tears streaked her face. The fact she had come through a personal crisis this far meant she was skilled. He had heard she was skilled with a bow and won a lot of tournaments with it but she was very green when it came to actual fighting.

"Are you going to help us Duncan?" Elissa asked.

"Whatever is to be done, must be done now, they are coming!" Eleanor said. She looked back at Bryce and wanted to scream. The life they built together was now in ashes.

"Duncan, I beg you, please take my wife and daughter to safety," Bryce grabbed Duncan's hand covering it with his blood.

Elissa watched the movement. She knew what her father was asking, to leave him behind.

"Papa no," Elissa whispered shaking her head in denial.

"I will your lordship, but first I must ask for something in return," Duncan said.

"Anything!" Bryce exclaimed.

"What is happening here pales in comparison to what is happening in the south. I came to your castle seeking a recruit. The darkspawn threat demands that I leave with one," Duncan searched Bryce's eyes and saw he knew what was being asked.

Elissa stared at Duncan in horror.

"I…I understand," Bryce whispered.

"What? No! I agree to no such thing!" Elissa shouted glaring at Duncan.

"What then pup? How will you survive?" Bryce turned to Elissa.

Elissa looked at her father shaking her head, "Papa no, don't…"

"I will take your wife and daughter to Ostagar to warn Fergus and tell the King what has happened. There your daughter will join the Grey Wardens," Duncan said.

"So long as justice comes to Howe," Bryce whispered. "I agree."

"Then I offer you a place within the Grey Wardens. Fight with us," Duncan said looking at Elissa.

"No! I refuse! What if Fergus is dead, surely Howe has something planned for him?" Elissa growled glaring at Duncan. She had respected this man earlier but now she thought him a monster. He was holding this over her dying father's head. What type of man would do such a thing?

"We will inform the King and he will punish Howe. I'm sorry but a Grey Warden's duties take precedence even over vengeance," Duncan knew he was making an enemy out of his new recruit but he did what must be done.

"Pup, Howe thinks he will use the chaos to advance himself," Bryce grabbed Elissa's hand. Elissa looked at him she kept shaking her head and felt her bottom lip trembling. She fought back the sob that had been growing since finding her father. "Make him wrong pup. See that justice is done. Our family always does our duty first. The darkspawn must be defeated. You must go, for your own sake and for Fereldans."

Elissa studied her father she felt the warm tears streaming down her cheeks. "Papa…"

She saw the steel in his eyes and knew he was asking her to do this for him. He'd rather her be a Grey Warden and live than die by Arl Howe's hands.

"I will, papa, for you," Elissa whispered.

"We must leave quickly then," Duncan stood up.

"Bryce…are you sure?" Eleanor asked staring at him.

"Our daughter will not die of Howe's treachery, she will live and make her mark on the world," Bryce looked at Elissa with pride.

Elissa couldn't hold back a sob. She grabbed her fathers arm. "Papa…"

Eleanor grabbed Elissa's face and made her look at her. "Darling, go with Duncan. You have a better chance to escape without me."

Elissa's eyes grew big realizing what her mother was saying. "No, no!" She shouted.

"Eleanor," Bryce said.

"Hush Bryce, I'll kill every bastard that comes through that door to buy them time. But I won't abandon you," Eleanor whispered.

"Mama," Elissa whispered. "Please, no…"

"Elissa your place is now with the Grey Wardens. Mine is with your father in life, death and beyond," Eleanor steeled herself against her daughter's pleas.

Elissa shook her head and sobbed hugging her mother. "Please…"

Eleanor pried her daughter away. Bryce took Elissa's hand. Elissa looked down at him. He stared up at her with sorrow. She hugged him one final time. "Papa," Elissa sobbed.

She pulled away and wanted to wake up any minute. This was a nightmare it wasn't real. She wasn't about to lose both her parents, it wasn't real it couldn't be.

Eleanor hugged Bryce. "I'm so sorry it has come to this my love," Bryce said through gasps of pain.

"We had a good life, and did all we could. It's up to our children now," Eleanor smiled sadly.

Bryce looked up at Elissa, "Then go pup, warn your brother. Know that we love you both. You do us proud."

Elissa let out a sob. "No!"

A loud crash sounded at the front of the castle. "They've broken through the gates we must go now," Duncan grabbed Elissa's arms.

She fought against him not wanting to leave her parents. Lucky came forward and grabbed her armor with his teeth and helped pull his mistress away.

"Good bye darling," Eleanor said.

Elissa was dragged away and Duncan pushed her ahead of him forcing her to run. Tears clouded her vision causing her to trip and fall more than usual.

The passageway led out to a path that led straight to the village. Duncan led her around the village however and made their way south. They didn't stop for a long time. Duncan forced Elissa to push herself to get further away from Highever. When Howe figured out she was not among the bodies in the castle he would order his men out to look for her. They did not stop to rest until the light from the day was coming to an end. When they stopped Duncan gave Elissa space as he made a fire.

Elissa stumbled to the small pond they had found to camp next to and collapsed on the shore. She let sobs rack her body as the pain of losing her family, friends and home hit her hard. She couldn't hold back the screams of anguish that clawed at her throat. Lucky leaned into her side adding his whimpers to her cries of pain.


	5. Chapter 5

"Elissa," a voice said in the distance.

Elissa stirred and opened her eyes. She was looking at a dying fire. "Elissa time to get up," the voice said again.

Elissa sat up and looked around and reality came crashing in on her. It wasn't a dream. It was real. Duncan the Grey Warden was kneeling three feet from her going through his pack.

Elissa closed her eyes. Hours before when Elissa stumbled back to the camp Duncan had set up she didn't look at him. She positioned herself on the opposite side of the fire and laid down using her cloak as a blanket. She was grateful she had packed it along with other things. She closed her eyes and avoided Duncan. She didn't care if she was being rude or if he thought her grief came at a bad time.

She had hoped when she closed her eyes she'd wake up and find she was in Highever in her own bed.

"Go wash up," Duncan said breaking through her thoughts.

Elissa got up and made her way to the pond. She looked down at her hands and saw the blood on them. Her father's blood, new tears came to her eyes but she quickly pushed them back. A sob threatened to break from her chest but Elissa ground her teeth and looked up at the sky. She let out a growl and closed her eyes. How did one get through so much grief? How did one survive?

She undressed and waded into the pond, scrubbing the blood from her body. Her father's words were echoing in her head. She thought about the way her mother looked, determined to stay with her father. Elissa felt she had abandoned them. There had to be more that she could do. If there was nothing she could do then she should have stayed behind. She gave into her pain and regret and let her thoughts wander the dark road. Why couldn't she have died with them? Why was she spared? Why?

Lucky barked at her from the shore and he dove into the water. He broke her thoughts with the splash and she came back to herself. She finished cleaning the blood off washing away the pain.

After dressing back into her armor she sat on the shore beside Lucky. Braiding her long hair into a single braid down her back. She sighed and looked at her hound who was studying her with sad eyes. "We'll kill him Lucky, I promise."

He barked his approval. Elissa walked back to camp and faced Duncan. He handed her some meat that had been cooked.

"I'm not hungry," Elissa said.

"Eat, I don't know when we'll be able to stop again," Duncan pushed it on her.

"I said I'm not hungry," Elissa growled walking away from him.

"I don't care if you're not hungry Elissa. You need energy which means you need to eat. I won't have you slowing us down," Duncan said going after her.

Elissa whirled on him, "Oh excuse me!"

Duncan studied her, "Just take the meat you can hate me on a full stomach."

Elissa knew this argument was lost to her so she grabbed the meat without saying thank you. She could imagine her mother would scold her for her rudeness. At that moment though Elissa didn't care for manners.

They continued walking taking small breaks as they made their way through the Fereldan countryside. They rode with farmers and merchants when the offer presented itself but it wasn't often. She found herself wishing she had her mare Rosie with her to give her a break from walking. But Rosie was in Howe's hands now there was nothing she could do at the moment.

Elissa hardly said a word to Duncan. She glared and withdrew into herself where she stewed in her emotions of bitterness and grief, with a dash of hate. She didn't want to know this man who had basically stolen her life from her. She didn't want to know more about this Order that she was joining. She thought of one thing now, getting to Ostagar and finding her brother.

When they were about a day from Ostagar, Duncan approached her at camp. "Do you know what is going on in Ostagar?"

"What do you mean what's going on? The King brought his troops to help your Grey Wardens fight darkspawn what else is there to know?" Elissa snapped.  
>"We only have a few Grey Wardens in Fereldan. All of us are at Ostagar. If we do not break the horde at Ostagar it will travel north, if that happens Fereldan will fall," Duncan said. He studied Elissa over the fire. She didn't seem acknowledge that the darkspawn were a real threat. But he knew when she saw the monsters they fought she'd know the danger they were in. He hoped it was enough to push her past her grief.<p>

Elissa stared into the fire trying to sort out his words. She loved Fereldan. She was a noble and that meant she belonged to the land and the people as much as they belonged to her. Her father had taught her that. The thought of anything threatening her home made her cringe but it was still overshadowed by her personal loss she had endured. She had lost everything, why should she care if the country fell. If Duncan thought she'd make a good recruit he was sorely mistaken. She had nothing left to offer anyone and had only one battle she ever wanted to fight again. Killing Howe. He would die for what he did.

They reached Ostagar before noon after days of traveling. Elissa's body hurt from all the walking. She wasn't used to it or sleeping in the dirt. When they got to Ostagar, Elissa stood stunned by the vast size of the ruin.

"Beautiful is it not?" Duncan asked. He was glad the girl had finally taken notice in something other than the road.

"Yes," Elissa nodded her mouth still hanging open. "What's that tower?"  
>"The Tower of Ishal," Duncan said.<p>

"How in the maker's name is it still standing?" Elissa asked sounding awed.

"It is dwarven made I'm told," Duncan looked up.

"Impressive," Elissa said looking down the road to the camp. "Is that the King?"  
>Duncan looked where Elissa was and saw a man in golden armor making his way to them. "Yes it is."<p>

Elissa had met the king when she was younger but she was sure he wouldn't remember her. But whether he remembered her or not he'd be told what happened to her family.

"Ho there, Duncan!" King Cailan smiled coming forward to meet Duncan.

"King Cailan, I didn't expect a…" Duncan started to say.

"A royal welcome?" Cailan laughed. "I was beginning to worry you'd miss all the fun!" Cailan smiled genuinely at Duncan.

Elissa studied both of them, she let one experience tarnish how she saw Duncan but Cailan seemed to genuinely like the man. Cailan she remembered her father saying tried to like everyone and get everyone to like him in return.

"Not if I could help it your majesty," Duncan smiled.  
>"Then I'll have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all! Glorious!" Cailan stood at attention.<p>

Elissa wanted to inch away from them and run through the camp looking for Fergus. She wanted to see him to make sure he was all right. The thought of telling him about Oriana and Oren made her sick to her stomach though. The closer they had come to Ostagar the more she dreaded the news she bore.

"The other Wardens told me you've found a promising recruit. I take it this is she?" Cailan said.

Elissa looked up realizing Cailan was staring right at her and moving to stand in front of her. She shifted nervously under his gaze.

"Allow me to introduce you, your Majesty." Duncan began.

"There's no need Duncan," Cailan said as he recognized the girl who looked like she had been dragged through the void and back. "You are Bryce's daughter are you not? I believe we met once at my wedding but you were much younger."

"Yes your Majesty, my name is Elissa," Elissa said her voice just barely above a whisper.

"Your brother has already arrived with Highever's men, but we are still awaiting your father," Cailan said looking behind her as if he would see him riding up.

"Oh, you'll be waiting for some time your Majesty," Elissa found the anger returning. How did he not know what happened? How did all of Fereldan not know? They lost a great man, one of two teryns in all of Fereldan and no one knew.

"What do you mean? Has something happened?" Cailan looked shocked. He looked at Duncan. "Do you know something about this?"

Duncan opened his mouth to speak but Elissa beat him. "No Duncan, 'tis my news to share. My father and mother were killed when our castle was taken. Arl Howe betrayed us and attacked after my brother went south with all of our forces." Elissa crossed her arms bracing for something to happen.

Cailan looked shocked. He stepped away from Elissa and turned his back on everyone.

"What she says is true," Duncan said.

"I can scarcely believe it! How could he think he would get away with such treachery?" Cailan's shock was replaced with anger. "As soon as we are done here, I will turn my army north and bring Howe to justice. You have my word."

Elissa didn't know what all she could say to that. This was the King after all. "Thank you, your Majesty." She found her lips moving but it's not all she wanted to say. She wanted to scream and make them act sooner. She wanted vengeance now.

"No doubt you wish to see your brother." Cailan looked nervous at saying that. "Unfortunately, he and his men are scouting in the Wilds."

Elissa turned away at that news. She needed her brother but felt only relief to be told he was not there. "When will he return?"

"Not until after the battle I fear," Cailan said.

Elissa nodded, "I am not eager to tell him, your Majesty."

"Of that I have no doubt," Cailan said. He felt the urge to comfort the girl but didn't know how to do so without being awkward. "I apologize Elissa, but there is nothing more I can do. All I can suggest is that you vent your grief against the darkspawn for the time being."

Elissa closed her eyes. She wanted to scream but all her training told her to do so was wrong. Even having her back turned to the King right now was going against her very training as a noble.

Elissa forced herself to turn around and look Cailan in the eyes, "Thank you, your Majesty."

Cailan saw the tears on Elissa's cheeks and sighed. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I should return to my tent. Loghain waits eagerly to bore me with his strategies."

She knew the subject about her family was dismissed. He was the King and had other obligations to attend to. One noble woman's vengeance was the least of his worries. Elissa swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Your uncle sends his greetings and reminds you that Redcliffe forces could be here in less than a week," Duncan said taking the time to help change the subject.

"Ha, Eamon just wants in on the glory. We've won three battles against these monsters and tomorrow should be no different," Cailan laughed.

"You sound very confident of that, your Majesty," Elissa forced herself to say.

Cailan laughed, "Over confident some would say right Duncan?"

"Your Majesty, I'm not sure the Blight can be ended quite as…quickly as you might wish," Duncan sighed.

Elissa eyed him and saw that this was a subject matter he was having a hard time trying to convince Cailan of.

"I'm not even sure this is a true Blight. There are plenty of darkspawn on the field but alas, we've seen no sign of an archdemon." Cailan turned his back to look at the forests where the darkspawn would be coming from.

"Disappointed your Majesty?" Duncan asked.

Elissa raised her eyebrow that was a question she'd never ask Cailan. It was close to saying he was only there for the glory. Which of course he was but you shouldn't point it out to the man.

"I'd hoped for a war like in the tales!" Cailan said.

Elissa fought the urge to shake her head. Nothing was ever like the tales.

"A king riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted god! But I suppose this will have to do."

Elissa stared at Cailan as he turned around trying to figure out if she remembered how old he was. He was a few years older than her if she remembered right. He was a little younger than Fergus. Did he not realize this was war not a game? She respected the man but she couldn't help thinking 'Dear maker protect us.'

"I must go before Loghain sends out a search party. Farewell, Grey Wardens!" Cailan smiled.

When Cailan walked away Elissa looked at Duncan who looked annoyed. "What the King said was true. They have won several battles against the darkspawn here."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better about our chances because he didn't seem to take the darkspawn seriously," Elissa raised her eyebrows.

"True," Duncan started walking and Elissa followed. "Despite the victories so far, the darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing day. By now, they look to outnumber us. I know there is an archdemon behind this. But I cannot ask the king to act solely on my feeling."

Duncan pulled to a stop and faced Elissa. "So what would you have him do?"

"Wait for reinforcements. We sent a call out west to the Wardens of Orlais," Duncan said.

"Really? I'm sure Loghain loves that," Elissa crossed her arms.

Duncan laughed, "We should proceed with your Joining as soon as possible."

"A hot meal would be nice," Elissa sighed. She was exhausted and wanted time away to process what had happened.

"I agree, we have until night fall to get started. So feel free to explore the camp. All I ask is that you not leave it. Especially in an attempt to find Fergus," Duncan said almost reading Elissa's mind. "He went into the Wilds which is dangerous in a group much less alone."

"I won't leave the camp," Elissa sighed.

"Good, when you're ready there's another Grey Warden in the camp by the name of Alistair. Seek him out and he'll summon the other recruits."

"Do the other Warden's know who I am? That I'm a Cousland I mean?" Elissa asked. She wasn't sure she wanted people to know who she was. Not yet anyway.

"All I sent to them was that you were skilled with a bow and from Highever. No one knows who you are," Duncan said studying his young recruit.

Elissa nodded, "All right. What is this Joining anyway?"

"The Joining is dangerous. I cannot speak more of it except to say that you will learn all in good time. Until then, you must trust that what is done is necessary," Duncan explained.

Elissa didn't like the sound of that. Did that mean she might not live through the Joining? He never mentioned that when he held her recruitment over her father's dying head. Before Elissa's anger returned in full force Duncan broke through her thoughts.

"Your hound can stay with me while I attend to some business," Duncan said.

"Um, no. I'd prefer if Lucky stayed with me," Elissa set her jaw.

Duncan studied her than nodded, "Very well just keep him under control."

Elissa about said something about that but Lucky leaned against her.

"If you need to find me the Grey Warden tent is on the other side of the bridge," Duncan said.

Elissa nodded and Duncan left her standing there. Elissa looked around at the mountains. She took a deep breath and found it smelled different than the Coastlands. She missed the sea air. Here it smelled sour. She wasn't sure if that was the darkspawn or the many soldiers that were camped in the valley below. But it smelled unclean.

Elissa looked at Lucky, "Well boy, I guess this is now our lot in life."

Lucky barked up at her.

"Wonder what we did to piss off the Maker," Elissa grumbled.


	6. Chapter 6

Walking through an army camp was a new experience. Then again nothing that happened to her lately was something she ever dreamed would happen to her. Her parent's were dead. She was handed over to an Order she knew almost nothing about. And there was one thing Elissa knew, she couldn't do a damn thing about it. Elissa found herself staring at everything and everyone in the camp. The guard to the entrance of the King's camp told her that the mages were there due to the request of the king. So she shouldn't be surprised to see templar's running around. She walked quietly and felt very nervous. She wasn't used to being around an army.

She walked between Cailan's tent which was right next to Loghain's. Both were guarded and eyed her suspiciously when they saw her coming close. She walked up the ramp to an older part of the ruins that reminded her of a temple. "Look carefully men," she heard an older man saying.

Elissa made her way to the front of the crowd of soldiers to see what they were looking at. When she saw the monstrous body on the ground she let out a gasp and took a step back. Lucky growled at the dead monster.

"This is a darkspawn. Don't listen to the tales about them, they can be killed," the man kneeling beside the horrible creature said.

Elissa studied it. She was supposed to kill these things? She screamed at the sight of rats and spiders. How was she supposed to kill…that?

"This is a genlock," the man continued.

Elissa couldn't listen anymore she turned and pushed her way through the crowd of soldiers. She ran through the temple until she came to a platform that looked over the bridge she crossed to enter the camp. She fell to her knees throwing up.

"Are you all right my lady?" A woman said from behind her.

Elissa turned and saw a woman in a priest's robe. "I'm okay," Elissa whispered wiping her mouth.

"Are you sure? I can fetch a nurse," the priest looked worried. She had brown hair that was combed neatly and green eyes that were filled with worry.

"I'm sure, I just saw the dead monster the soldiers have," Elissa nodded toward the way she and Lucky had come.

"I saw that, I wish they wouldn't bring it in camp," the priest sighed. "My name is Sister Linette. Here you can have this." The priest handed Elissa a cloth with the Symbol of Andraste embroidered in the corner.

"I'm Elissa," Elissa stood up taking the cloth. "Thank you."

"You came in with the Grey Warden did you not?" Linette studied her.

"Yes," Elissa smiled sadly cleaning off her face. "I fear he has picked a sad recruit if I throw up at the sight of the monsters he wants me to fight."

Linette studied Elissa and noticed the healing bruise on the left side of the girl's face. The girl looked worn out and dead on her feet. Grey Warden's came from all walks of life but not this child, she was nobility it was written through out her features.

"If you'll excuse me Sister, I must go," Elissa excused herself. They made their way back to the main camp. She wanted to find a place to compose herself where she wouldn't be interrupted. But by the looks of the camp there was no such place.

She went up another ramp that led to a type of hall. On one end she saw elven servants setting up a table. There was another ramp to her right and she found herself walking up to see what it offered for solitude. There was no one there she took a sigh of relief, taking off her weapons and laying them on the ground. She wrapped her cloak around her and sat down leaning against the wall. Lucky settled in next to her keeping watch of the entrance to their temporary rest.

Elissa closed her eyes just wanting a break but she fell asleep with in minutes.

"What is it now?" the mage moved up into the old temple. "Haven't the Grey Warden's asked enough of the Circle?"

Elissa stirred at the sound of the mage's voice. She looked up to see a man in a robe being followed by a man in armor. He was young and was smiling uncomfortably.

"I simply came to deliver a message ser mage from the reverend mother. She requires your presence," the man said his voice was filled with humor.

Elissa studied them, she hadn't got more than fifteen minutes of sleep and she was curious at the exchange but unhappy about the intrusion.

"What her Reverence desires, is of no concern to me. I am busy helping the Grey Wardens by the King's orders I might add! Go find someone else to deliver your message to," the mage growled.

"Well I did but all of them directed me to you," the man the mage called a Grey Warden said with a smile. "Should I have asked her to write a note?"

Elissa found herself trying not to laugh. The man had guts she had to hand it to him. She would never try to anger a mage, not if she could help it.

"Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner," the mage growled.

Elissa felt the hair on her arms rise. It sounded like a threat, which was not a good thing when a mage was the one making the threat.

"Yes, I was harassing you by delivering a message," the young Warden smiled. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere but there at the moment. But he wasn't backing down which made Elissa narrow her eyes at the Warden. He was definitely more than he appeared to be.

"Your glibness does you no credit," the mage sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. The soldier was giving him a headache.

"Oh and here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you. The grumpy one," the Warden added.

Elissa swallowed her laugh and bit her lip.

"Enough!" the mage yelled. "I'll speak to the woman if I must. Get out of my way fool!"

The mage stormed off leaving the Warden looking like he won a small battle.

Lucky had kept quiet the whole time but now that the Warden was alone with them he growled.

The Warden turned quickly and faced Elissa and Lucky. The man had a flash of fear when he saw the growling dog but hid it when he saw Elissa staring at him. Elissa studied him then, he looked vaguely familiar but she was sure she had never seen him before. He smiled nervously at Lucky. Lucky growled again sensing the man's fear. Elissa looked closer at the man his blonde hair was kept short. His eyes had wrinkles around them from smiling often and they looked to be brown or hazel from the distance it was hard to tell.

"Lucky stop," Elissa sighed running a hand down the dogs back.

Alistair stared at the woman who was being guarded. She was stunning. The bruising on her face did nothing to detract from that. It had been six months since he had been out of the chantry and not once had he been in the presence of a woman like this. His tongue seemed to be in a knot. She was raising her eyebrow at him waiting for him to speak or go away he assumed. So he fell back on the one thing he had in his defense.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," he said still studying the Mabari.

Elissa laughed it was the first time she laughed in days. She noticed the man looked up at her and smiled at the sound of her laughter. Elissa thought about Howe using the Blight as a way to advance himself. She could only agree with the man.

"I know exactly what you mean," she said losing her smile.

"It's like a party we could all hold hands and sing! That would give the darkspawn something to think about," he said.

Elissa smiled and studied the man. She found him incredibly comfortable to be around and then she realized why. He joked the same way Fergus did when in a serious situation. It made the whole situation come crashing down on her. Before she let it all sink in and let sadness fill her heart the man interrupted.

"Wait, I don't know you do I?" Alistair studied her. He knew he didn't know her but he had sensed the change in her. Her eyes were sad and it looked like it hurt her physically to smile and laugh. As if the Maker himself would knock her down for being happy. "You don't happen to be another mage?"

"If I am a mage I'm the kind who shoots a bow not flings fireballs. And no, you don't know me," she stood up shaking out her cloak.

Alistair had heard the description of the new recruit from Duncan. He ran into him at the tent when he was on his way to deliver a message. Duncan asked him to seek her out if she didn't find him first. He told her what she looked like but little else. Duncan was in a hurry to attend a meeting with Loghain.

"Wait! I do know you!" Alistair's smile brightened.

Elissa froze. She looked up at him slowly. How did he know who she was? He couldn't know she was a Cousland could he?

"You're Duncan's new recruit from Highever! He told me you were in camp and if you didn't find me first to look for you," he smiled.

Elissa studied him and took a sigh of relief. "You must be Alistair," Elissa smiled.

"Yes," Alistair smiled. "I'm the new Grey Warden and I'll be accompanying you and the other recruits as you prepare for the Joining."

"I'm Elissa," she introduced herself.

"Nice to meet you. It has just occurred to me that there are not many women in the Grey Wardens. In fact you're the first I've met," Alistair smiled at her.

Elissa looked at him wondering why that was something that occurred to him. They were in Fereldan. Women joined the army. They were considered equals in many things. I guess it was different when it came to fighting darkspawn. He didn't seem to be trying to flirt with her, which was a good thing she probably wouldn't be able to handle it at the moment. "You want more women in the Warden's do you?"

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Alistair laughed.

Elissa raised her eyebrows.

"I'm not some drooling lecher, don't get me wrong. Please stop looking at me like that," Alistair said losing his smile.

Elissa smiled in return. "Right you just want them around to cook and clean is that it?"

"And wash and sew my clothes," Alistair shrugged realizing Elissa was joking with him.

"Hopeless," Elissa shook her head. "Just so we're clear I'm not washing your clothes, mending any holes in socks …or cleaning up after you."

"What about cooking?" he smiled.

"I can cook," Elissa said slowly. They stood silent for a few moments not sure where to go from there.

"Well then, Duncan said to get you over to the mess tent. He said you haven't had food all day," Alistair said clearing his throat.

Elissa collected her weapons and Alistair saw the blade she strapped to her back. "That is a beauty of a sword."

Elissa froze, "It's a family sword."

Alistair could sense her reluctance to say more and nodded. He led the way to the mess tent where stew and bread were being served. He had already had his share but he helped himself to another serving. He didn't want Elissa to eat alone. He wasn't a fool she was a beautiful woman and she was in a camp full of men. Sure there were women in the King's army but those women had men in their units to watch out for them. She was his to watch out for. He shook his head at that thought, it sounded better than he had thought it would.

Elissa sat next to Alistair as they ate. She wasn't used to talking during meals anymore after spending time traveling with a man she blamed for all her problems. Meal times at Highever were always loud and always an event. Fergus and Roland would be making fun of her while Oren would try his best to be involved in the grown up conversations. It hurt Elissa to remember her smiling family when she saw them bleeding and dead. She found herself close to tears when her thoughts were interrupted.

"How'd you get that bruise?" Alistair asked in between bites.

Elissa paused, she was here to a Grey Warden so bruises were not uncommon she would think. But this Alistair seemed like a curious lad. "I took a shield to the face," Elissa said quietly.

"Ouch," Alistair studied her. He knew there was more to it than that. He wasn't going to pry though they just met and he knew he hadn't earned the rights yet.

"So you said there are other recruits?" Elissa changed the subject.

"Yes, Daveth and Ser Jory. I take it you haven't met them yet?" Alistair said.

"No," Elissa shook her head. "Tell me about them."

Alistair frowned. "Well Daveth is a cut purse that Duncan recruited from Denerim. He's a bit shifty, not really sure what Duncan saw in him."

"A cut purse?" Elissa asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, quite the ladies man or so he says but I'm not buying it," Alistair looked at Elissa and smiled. She had beautiful blue eyes he noticed. Blue eyes shadowed with sorrow.

"And the other?"

"Ser Jory is a knight from Redcliffe. I believe Duncan recruited him in Highever. Maybe you know him," Alistair said.

Elissa's hand shook and the stew fell down the front of her. "Shoot," she whispered.

Alistair laughed, "Good thing there are only men here to witness that and half of them don't eat as politely as you. I've been having to watch myself for the past fifteen minutes when I saw you actually had table manners."

Elissa frowned, "Don't hold yourself back because of me."

"Oh let me look like a pig and you a dainty woman?" Alistair raised his eyebrows.

"Would you rather me look like a pig and you look like a dainty woman?" Elissa laughed.

Alistair laughed at that and took a bite of bread chewing with his mouth open on purpose. Elissa smiled and felt a little sadness lift from her.

Elissa ate the rest of her stew and fed Lucky. "I need supplies."

"We'll stop by the Quartermasters," Alistair said. "I understand you had to leave Highever without notice."

"Yes," Elissa nodded.

Alistair knew she didn't want to talk about it. He'd ask Duncan later what had occurred in Highever.

At the Quartermasters they ran into Daveth. He was leaning into a pretty blond woman. "Shall I take that quiet glare as a no?"

Elissa watched with a smirk as the female soldier smacked the man across the cheek and walked away.

Alistair wasn't so gentle he laughed. "I hope that was part of your charm Daveth."

Daveth turned towards Elissa and Alistair and frowned until he saw Elissa. He smiled wide and came up to her walking in a way he probably thought was charming. "Well you are definitely not what I'd thought you'd be," Daveth looked Elissa up and down.

Elissa was used to being flirted with, but by nobles. This was a different kind of flirting. One she wasn't sure if she liked.

"What did you think I'd be?" Elissa looked back at Daveth crossing her arms.

"Not a woman, but here you are and a beautiful one at that," Daveth smiled. "I'm Daveth."

"Elissa," she snapped.

"Pleased to meet you," his smile didn't falter. Elissa knew he thought of her as a challenge now. Men like him rarely gave in.

"Can you give Elissa some breathing room Daveth?" Alistair growled.

Daveth looked at Alistair, "Is the young templar jealous?"

Elissa raised her eyebrows. "Templar?"

Alistair shifted, "I was recruited from the chantry where I was in training to be a templar."

"Oh," Elissa said studying him. He didn't seem like the religious sort and out of all the templars she had met were strict, not full of jokes.

"So why don't you ditch chantry boy here and come have some fun with me," Daveth suggested.

Alistair sucked in air and was about to say something when Lucky beat him to it. The dog barked and growled at Daveth until the man backed up.

"Hey…hey easy boy," Daveth said throwing his hands up.

Elissa smiled, "I think I'll stick with Alistair thank you."

She made her way to the Quartermaster and he supplied her with what she needed. She was glad she had remembered to pack her funds. She wasn't sure how she was to pay for things when her money ran out but surely the Grey Wardens paid their people. Didn't they? She'd have to ask Alistair more about everything when they had time. She hated feeling helpless.

Alistair stood glaring at Daveth who shifted under the gaze, "I think I'll just go back to Duncan now."

"You do that," Alistair nodded. Daveth went running. Alistair looked down at Lucky who was staring after Daveth. "Good boy."

Lucky wagged his tail and looked up at Alistair letting out a happy bark. "I'll get you a bone sometime just for that."

Lucky barked again.

"Are you bribing my dog?" Elissa came back her hand full of armor. Her armor had taken a beating during the escape from the castle. She could have it repaired but she also wanted armor that didn't have Oren, and her father's bloodstains across the chest. It was too much for her.

"Not at all," Alistair smiled. "I think he likes me."

Elissa looked down at Lucky and saw him wagging his tail. It appeared Alistair was right. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all not with Alistair around in the Wardens. Given enough time Elissa was sure she could almost convince herself that her life was not over. But for now, she still believed she died in the castle with her parents.


	7. Chapter 7

"Do we have to go straight to Duncan?" Elissa asked, as they were about to leave the Quartermaster. She had tried on her armor and the Quartermaster had sent it off to have it adjusted so it would fit her. Alistair had patiently waited for her outside with Lucky.

"We have some time I suppose but we should really get going," Alistair said.

"I just…I was hoping I could ask you more about the Wardens," Elissa said. She hadn't really been thinking that she just wanted more time in between freedom and a life of duty.

"What would you like to know my lady?" Alistair asked. They walked up a ramp that Elissa hadn't yet explored. She saw a priest giving the Maker's blessing to whomever asked for it. To their left was a man in a cage staring at his guard's food. The poor man was starving. Then there was the infirmary where the groans of men came from. Elissa didn't want to go that way but couldn't stop herself from staring.

"What makes you all so special? I mean besides fighting the darkspawn?" Elissa asked looking at the men lying on cots.

"Well, we…" Alistair paused he couldn't tell her much. She'd learn when…no if she survived her joining. Dear Maker, he looked at her and thought. In a few hours she could be dead. He shouldn't be getting to know her or talking to her. But at the same time it was nice to have someone to talk to.

"We?" Elissa asked raising her eyebrow and wondering if he was struggling to find words.

"We're warriors without equal. Darkspawn threatened to destroy the world four times over. Each time it was the Grey Wardens who led mankind to victory. Nobody knows more about darkspawn, and nobody is better equipped to deal with them," Alistair said no looking at Elissa. "You'll see, trust me."

"Trust you? I just met you." Elissa laughed. Alistair had sounded as if he was reciting out of a book.

"It's just, there's a lot you can't know until after the Joining," Alistair said.

"I see, and I bet you can't tell me about the Joining," Elissa sighed.

"You'd win that bet," Alistair sighed and turned towards her. "Maybe after Duncan talks to all of the recruits about it, you can ask me more. But right now I'm sworn to secrecy."

Elissa nodded, but she knew he wanted to tell her. She wouldn't push him though best not to anger a future comrade.

"I saw a darkspawn in the camp," Elissa said. "He was dead but it was still monstrous. I don't know what Duncan sees in me because I don't think I can face that."

Alistair frowned, "I'm sure you can."

"I scream at the sight of rats Alistair," Elissa looked away ashamed at her weakness. "I never…I've never been in a battle."

"Never?" Alistair wondered why Duncan had recruited her.  
>"Never," Elissa felt like she was lying now. "I take it back, I had to fight my way out of Highever."<p>

"What happened there?" Alistair asked.

"Arl Rendon Howe attacked the Couslands. Killing all of them," Elissa lied. What she couldn't bring herself to say was she was one of the two remaining Couslands. Her family bloodline went back for ages and it might die with her if Fergus didn't come back safely.

"Why would he do such a thing?" Alistair asked.

"Who knows, greed? Power? He waited until Fergus Cousland had left to go south with the men. Then he attacked," Elissa said. She found it amazing she could talk about it with no emotion. She felt detached when she thought of them as other people she didn't know.

"So you fought your way out with Duncan?" Alistair asked.

"Yes, Howe was killing everyone," Elissa nodded.

"Dear Maker, I'm glad you two survived," Alistair said. "The King knows then?"

Elissa nodded, "We informed him upon arrival."

"Well that's good," Alistair looked away.

Elissa walked over to the prisoner. She wanted a change of subject or a distraction and this would be it.

"You haven't come to sentence me have you?" the soldier asked weakly. He looked at her with amusement.

"No, I haven't," Elissa said.

Alistair came up behind her. "What are you doing?" he whispered.

She ignored him.

"I don't suppose you have a bit of kindness in you? I haven't had food and water in days," the prisoner smiled weakly.

"I'll see if I can get some," Elissa said. She doubted that the servants in the mess tent would allow her to bring him some.

"Ask my guard for his," the prisoner motioned towards the guard who was nodding off to sleep.

"I'll be back," Elissa walked over to the guard. He darted straight up and stood tall when he had heard her.

"Oh good evening," he said nervously. "You Grey Warden's have it easy you know. Riding with the King. I'm stuck here guarding this prisoner all day."

"I had a talk with him actually," Elissa said sweetly.

"Oh, and I don't suppose he said much?" the guard laughed.

"He asked for food and water," Elissa found it hard to not be angry.

"Well how am I supposed to give him that they don't send any for him," the guard crossed his arms.

"I notice you have some dinner left, suppose I buy it from you to give it to him? How does ten silvers sound?"

The guard thought about the offer and nodded, "All right, but if they ask why he's burping I'm pointing the finger at you."

"I'll take full blame for it," Elissa nodded. The guard handed over the food and she took it to the prisoner.

"You are a kind soul you are! May Andraste herself shine blessings upon your soul!" the prisoner beamed and took the food from her.

Elissa smiled and walked away. Alistair caught up to her. "That was kind of you," he said.

"No one should starve even those who will likely be put to death," Elissa sighed. It was a cruel punishment, she thought.

"Not many think the way you do," Alistair said knowing that even the Grey Warden's looked down on deserting, which the man had been imprisoned for. Yet Elissa never asked why the man was there. She didn't pass judgment she found out he needed something and saw he got it.

"Where are all the other Grey Wardens?" Elissa asked.

"In the valley camped with the King's men. Cailan has given us a position at the vanguard," Alistair explained.

Elissa stopped and looked at Alistair. "I'm sorry you're on babysitting duty. I know you'd probably rather be with the others."

"I…I don't mind it so much," Alistair was taken back. "Truth is Duncan has kept me out of the battles so I don't spend much time down there at all."  
>"He's kept you out of the fighting?" Elissa asked. "Why?"<p>

"Um, not sure really," Alistair looked around and spotted the other recruit, Jory by the priest. "Oh look it's Jory."

Alistair walked straight for him and Elissa watched him go. He was hiding something. But then again so was she. Everyone had secrets. She followed Alistair.

"Elissa this is Ser Jory. Ser Jory this is Elissa," Alistair made the introductions. He was glad Jory had been there for a distraction.

"Hello," Jory smiled. "I wasn't aware that the Wardens permitted women to be Grey Wardens."

Elissa didn't know how to take it. First Alistair made his wanting more women in the Wardens, and then Daveth said he hadn't been expecting a woman. Now Jory tells her he didn't think they allowed women in. She knew she'd have a lot to prove but this wasn't something she wanted to deal with.

"I can handle myself," Elissa said crossing her arms. She felt the stress between her shoulders.

"Elissa comes from Highever," Alistair interrupted before the tension grew. "Did you two ever run into each other?"

"No," Elissa blurted out probably faster than was needed but she didn't want to give Jory the chance to study her and find out he did know who she was.

"My Helena is still up there did you know her?" Jory asked. "She grew up there, I on the other hand come from Redcliffe."

Elissa tried to remember the village women. All of them were a blur to her at the moment. She knew if she remembered half of the ones who were dear to her like Bess, John the Baker's wife she'd be in tears. "I'm sorry I don't recall a Helena."

Even if she did know her, Elissa's guilt lay heavily on her mind. She felt like she failed her people. They were now in the hands of that bastard Howe.

"It was a sprawling city," Jory smiled. "So now that I know Duncan has arrived I will find him for I have some questions for the man. It was nice meeting you Elissa, I hope we are both lucky enough to join the Wardens."

Elissa watched him go then turned towards the priest. "Would you like the Maker's blessing?" The priest asked with a smile.

Elissa nodded the last time she received his blessing felt like a lifetime ago. "Yes, please."

"Then I bless you my lady, in the name of Andraste and the Maker above. May the Chant of Light carry your name to the ears of our Lord," the woman hovered her hand above Elissa's downcast face.

Alistair had bent his head and said a prayer to the Maker asking Elissa be spared the death that could await her when the joining came. They stepped away and started walking towards another ramp when a man in the infirmary lunged for Elissa and grabbed her arm.

Lucky didn't pounce but he growled and Alistair grabbed Elissa. "Hey!" Elissa shouted. She looked down at the man and saw the fear in his eyes.

She stopped struggling when she realized the man was scared and just latched onto her. "You! You need to convince them. We have to run," the scared soldier whispered to Elissa. "The darkspawn are coming!"

"Why do you say that?" Elissa asked wincing as the man squeezed her arm tighter.

Alistair tried to pry him off of her but Elissa looked up at him and shook her head. The man wouldn't harm her he was just frightened.

"I've seen them, they are everywhere. We're going to die!" the man moaned.

"The Grey Warden's are here," Elissa started to say.

"The Grey Warden's will die, the King will die, we'll all die," he shook his head. "We'll all die."

"That's enough," a nurse with brown hair who looked exhausted came up. "I apologize my lady. He's been like this ever since we found him in the Wilds."

"Does he have important information?" Elissa asked.

"The commander who brought him here didn't seem to think so," the nurse shook her head sadly and looked down at the man. "Calm yourself good man. You're safe."

"You…you can feel it can't you?" the scared man continued. "They taint the land, turn it black and sick! You can feel it inside. They'll come out of that forest and spread! Like caterpillars covering a tree, they'll swallow us whole!" He gripped Elissa's arm tighter.

She let out a whimper and wanted to get away from the man. He was scaring her. Alistair sensed it and pulled her away while the nurse was left calming the frightened soldier.

"Are you all right?" Alistair asked leading Elissa to a tree far from the tents.

"Was he right?" Elissa looked up at Alistair studying his face. "Are we going to die?"

Alistair studied her and noticed her fear. She shouldn't be there but he wasn't one to question Duncan. "We're going to stop them Lis," Alistair whispered shortening her name. He smiled what he felt was a reassuring smile.

"How do you know that?" Elissa asked. "I saw the dead…genlock the man called it. Its pointed ears, its dark hollowed eyes. I'll never get that out of my head. Where did it come from, what is it?"

Alistair sighed, "Lis are you sure you want to do this now. The man was frightened."

"Well so am I," Elissa whispered. "Why does everyone make me feel like I shouldn't be scared?"

"Fear is natural Lis, especially where the darkspawn is concerned. The truth is we don't know where the darkspawn come from. They come out of the ground that's about all we know," Alistair sighed taking off his gauntlets and running a hand through his hair. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," Elissa nodded.

"There's a lot I don't know about the Order. You don't learn much right when you join. It's like a secret society you earn the information with the time you spend in the Order. What I know is what I've read in books in the Warden compound in Denerim," Alistair sighed. "When I first fought a darkspawn I was not prepared for how monstrous it was."

Elissa studied Alistair. He shook his head at the memory, "Well that's comforting."

Alistair lips curved in a small smile, "I'll watch your back out there."

"Actually you fight with a shield, I'll be the one watching your back," Elissa smiled.

"Well good I am now relying on you to protect me, how…manly," Alistair laughed.

Elissa joined the laughter and felt a little better. Alistair smiled at the fact he had taken her mind off of her fear. It wouldn't last he knew but at least for now the storm had passed.

"Time to get to Duncan. I think we've put it off long enough," Alistair looked up at the sky it was closing in on evening.

Elissa sighed and lost her smile, "Lead the way."


	8. Chapter 8

If anyone had told her a year ago she'd be fighting to save Fereldan. Elissa would have laughed at them. She wasn't laughing now. Each step she took with Alistair the more it felt like her life was coming to an end. She had this feeling in her gut to turn and run. No matter how much she tried to prolong the Joining she knew she couldn't. Her father's words echoed in her head. Duty. Well she'd do her duty but she could put it off as long as possible. When they had left the infirmary area they had seen some Ash Warriors at the entrance to the camp. Elissa headed towards them even when Alistair called to her she didn't stop.

She had been curious about Ash Warriors. When they were younger Fergus used to say he wanted to be one. She never knew what one was but now seeing them she knew. They had Mabari's of their own and had painted them for some reason that was beyond Elissa. She hadn't heard of such a thing. So she intended to ask them why much Alistair's dismay. Alistair let out a loud sigh when Elissa didn't listen to him. He looked around to make sure Duncan wasn't looking for them. He didn't want either of them to get in trouble.

"You haven't brought anymore instructions have you?" the Ash Warrior who seemed to be in charge asked Elissa. She studied him his long dark hair was pulled back and he seemed to have a permanent glare on his face. She saw he had a scar that ran down his right cheek of his battle hardened face.

"No, what do you mean instructions?" Elissa shook her head.

"Teryn Loghain has been changing our scouting route all day," the man said with a growl. "If you're not from him what do you want?"

"You're Ash Warrior's right?" Elissa smiled the man didn't seem to want to talk much.

"Yes," the man said.

"What exactly does an Ash Warrior do?" Elissa asked.

Alistair shifted back and forth. He wanted to tell Elissa they needed to go but he felt it was rude. He also felt she needed to get her nerves together. He knew she had been scared earlier, he had seen it in her eyes and heard it in her voice. But that was normal for all new recruits. She would get used to her new life, he hoped.

"We harness the rage inside us, nurture it, and draw it out so we cannot fall in battle until our last foe is slain. It is a dwarven discipline, but we have adapted it to let us fight alongside our hounds," the man seemed proud of his abilities and Elissa didn't blame him. "Our abilities have been passed down since Luthias the Dwarfson first harnessed the battle-rage of the dwarves. It's an old tale."

Elissa smiled perfect a tale that would take some time, "Can I hear this old tale?"

"Luthias was a Clayne tribesman. He was known for being charismatic and brave. And although shorter than his fellow warriors he was the strongest out of any in his tribe. Luthias was sent to Orzammar to negotiate an alliance with their king. There was great conflict at that time and they would need outside help to fight against the other Alamarri tribes they were at war with," the Ash Warrior said. "He was unable to convince the dwarven king of an alliance, but Luthias fell in love with the king's daughter, Scaea. Scaea and Luthias left Orzammar together and went back to his tribe. Scaea taught Luthias the art of fighting without pain, to harness the battle wrath. With this Luthias became a renowned warrior."

Alistair forgot all about Duncan and was interested in hearing about Luthias as well. He hadn't heard or read the story before which was odd because he had spent hours in the Chantry's library.

"What happened then?" Elissa asked.

"Luthias went on to lead his tribes to many victories. He soon became chieftain of the Clayne. When peace came to the tribes many of the leaders from both Alamarri and the Avvar tribes gathered for a feast. At the feast Morrighan'nan, an Avvar tribal leader became enamored with Luthias and seduced him. Scaea learned of the betrayal and returned to Orzammar. He was distraught over Scaea leaving. When he turned Morrighan'nan away she left in anger and declared war," the warrior continued. "They battled for fifteen years and during the Battle of Red Falls a young Avvar warrior challenged Luthias. He killed the young man. Morrighan'nan revealed the boy he killed was his son. She cursed him as a kinslayer and the Battle of Red Falls would not favor him.

"What happened to Scaea?" Elissa asked. "His wife?"

"It is said she returned to him the night before his final battle. She offered him a dwarven suit of chain in exchange for a final night together," the Ash Warrior smiled sadly. "He wore the chain in battle and met Morrighan'nan in personal combat. The battle was fierce and bloody and in the end Luthias killed the woman, but not before he received a fatal blow to the heart. After the battle dwarven warriors came from Orzammar and took the body back to their mountain."

"Thank you for telling us," Alistair said.

"It was my pleasure," the Ash Warrior smiled.

"Why have you painted your dogs?" Elissa asked. "I've never seen that."

"We paint them with Kaddis so they recognize us in battle as one of their own," the warrior looked down at Lucky. He bent down to examine the dog. "You have a fine hound."

"Yes, he's saved me a few times," Elissa smiled down at Lucky.

"He'll be fighting along side the Grey Wardens now, which means he'll be in more danger than any of our dogs," the Ash Warrior looked up at Elissa.

"What do you mean?" Elissa's face turned white. She looked at Alistair who looked confused.

Alistair looked at Elissa and shrugged. Elissa looked back at the Ash Warrior.

"The blood of darkpawn is poisonous. If your hound swallows some he could die," the Ash Warrior sounded sad. "Wardens say that a person can become immune to the blood but after a while it drives them insane."

Elissa felt like the world had dropped out from under her feet. She would have looked at Alistair again but she knew he'd shrug again. She had already lost her family she couldn't lose Lucky too. "Well then I guess he'll be staying at camp a lot."  
>Lucky whined up at her.<p>

"A trained Mabari is as lethal as any sword," the Ash Warrior said. "But here take some Kaddis to put on your hound. Keep him with you, your hound is a trained Mabari."

Elissa took the jar that the warrior had handed her. She knew that the Warrior was telling her not having him with her would be like not using a favored weapon. She looked up at Alistair who was looking at the ground and kicking the dirt. Something was bothering him.

"Thank you," Elissa smiled looking back at the Ash Warrior. "We should go, good luck on your mission."

"Thank you," the warrior smiled at her.

Elissa and Alistair walked away with Lucky leading the way. "Was what he said true about darkspawn blood?"

"I…um…," Alistair said.

Elissa stopped and raised an eyebrow looking at Alistair. "What aren't you telling me?"

"We…I can't say, let's go I can see Duncan pacing from here," Alistair continued walking.

Elissa would have screamed at him had she been anywhere else. The man may have been able to make her laugh but there was something he wasn't saying. She hated secret orders. She didn't want to be a member of anything secret. She hated secrets.

She walked up behind Alistair to the fire that Duncan, Jory and Daveth were all standing around. Alistair wouldn't look at her. She crossed her arms and glared into the fire.

"Good, you found each other. We can begin, assuming Alistair you are done upsetting the mages?" Duncan asked.

Elissa snorted, Alistair had a new target to upset. Her.

"What can I say Duncan," Alistair began explaining ignoring Elissa. "The Revered Mother ambushed me. The way she wields guilt she should be serving the army."

"Oh so the Revered Mother made you deliver the message did she?" Duncan said. "May I remind you we cannot afford to antagonize anyone. Last thing the Wardens need is for anyone to have ammunition to use against us."

"You're right, I apologize," Alistair said.

Elissa smirked and looked at Alistair who had his eyes downcast and his tanned cheeks were a little red.

"You four will be going into the Kokari Wilds to perform two tasks," Duncan began obviously done scolding Alistair. "The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood."

Elissa noticed Alistair tense. She looked at him and the color in his face turned a deeper shade of red. "What do we need the blood for?"

"For the Joining itself. I'll explain more once you have recovered the items and have returned," Duncan said. His eyes narrowed on Elissa. She had obviously overheard or heard something in the camp.

Elissa looked at Jory and Daveth. Jory looked like if you snuck up on him he'd scream and make a run for it. Daveth looked bored. She decided to keep her little tidbit about the blood being poisonous to herself.

"What is the second task?" Elissa asked. She wondered if these men he recruited ever asked questions of if they just followed orders. She was betting they would just follow orders.

"There was once a Grey Warden's base in the Wilds. It has come to our attention we left behind some scrolls that we may need in days to come. They have been magically sealed to protect them. Alistair I want you to retrieve these scrolls," Duncan looked at Alistair.

Alistair looked up and nodded.

"And what if these scrolls aren't there anymore?" Elissa asked.

"It's possible they could have been stolen or damaged, but the magic protecting them should guard them from that. Only a Grey Warden can open them," Duncan explained.

"If they are protected by magic they must be important," Alistair said. "Why would they leave them behind?"

"It was always assumed we'd be back," Duncan said.

Elissa didn't buy that but she knew from listening to Fereldan history they had been exiled so it must have been a pretty quick evacuation.

"So get vials of blood and some dusty scrolls," Elissa crossed her arms.

"The scrolls are Grey Warden treaties if you are curious," Duncan said. He didn't like Elissa calling them dusty scrolls. He had a feeling he'd be dealing with her attitude now. He didn't blame her but now was not the time for her to be angry. "Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly and safely"

Alistair nodded, "We will."

"Then may the Maker watch over your path and I shall see you when you return," Duncan said.

Elissa followed Alistair to the gate where they had to wait for the soldier guarding it to open it for them. Alistair broke the silence between them. "You sure you want Lucky out here?"

"Why not? I'm going to be purposely picking up poison why not bring my dog along to join in on the festivities," Elissa said dryly.

"Poison?" Jory sounded panicked and looked from Elissa to Alistair.

"Great, thank you Elissa. Let's just go shall we?" Alistair asked leading the way out of the camp.

Elissa knew Alistair was upset with her, which was fine with her because he wasn't exactly her top person at the moment either. She hung back from the others and followed them. She kept her eyes constantly moving watching the trees. She had heard the stories about the Wilds even up in Highever. Chasind folk, wild people called this place home. There were stories they were cannibals. There were also different kinds of creatures that were rumored to be as big as a horse and deadly.

Lucky stayed by Elissa's side, she was glad to have him along even if it was putting him in danger. Elissa kept her eyes out for scouting patrols with any lucky Fergus and his men will return early. She didn't like the thought that he was in the Wilds. She didn't even like the thought of her out in the wilds but there she was. A huge bug landed on her arm and she let out a squeal and slapped at it.

The three men stopped and turned to look at Elissa. Alistair raised an eyebrow. Jory looked annoyed at the interruption from their task. Daveth was the least sensitive out of all three of them. He started laughing.

"Did the Princess have a bug on her?" Daveth asked.

Elissa brushed the hair back that had fallen out of her braid and fell in front of her eyes and glared at him. "Oh you think this is funny do you?"

"That you scream at the site of bugs? Yes. Come up here beside me dove, I'll protect you," Daveth smiled.

Elissa felt the urge to nock an arrow in her bow and shoot his foot but she resisted. Instead she pushed in front of the men and decided to lead the way. When Lucky passed Daveth he let out a snarl that caused Daveth to move behind Alistair. "I'm not protecting you from the beast if you keep antagonizing his mistress," Alistair sounded bored.

He looked towards Elissa and found she was a good distance away from them. He followed behind her to catch up. They walked quietly until Elissa stopped holding up her hand. Lucky had his back hunched and was growling at the path ahead of them. Elissa slowly withdrew an arrow from her quiver on her back. She had been carrying her bow since they left the camp. She liked having her weapon at the ready when she didn't know what to expect.

"What is it?" Alistair whispered drawing his weapons.

"I don't know," Elissa whispered. "It's over the ridge."

She snuck up slowly and looked down. Below them was a pack of wolves that were feeding on a dead man's body. Alistair wasn't so quiet when he came up to look and the wolves heard him. When they looked up at the intruders the wolves bared their teeth and let out some deadly growls.

"This is not good," Alistair whispered.

Elissa counted the number of wolves, ten. All of them looked starved. "Shit," Elissa whispered.

Alistair nodded at her sentiment but didn't have time to speak more because the wolves decided to end the stand off and charged. Elissa took aim pulling the string back and let out a slow breath releasing the arrow. Her arrow flew into one of the charging wolves and he fell. She looked around trying to find higher ground to get advantage.

She saw a tree that she could easily climb and stand on the branch to shoot arrows. Alistair, Jory and Daveth were all at ground level fighting off the wolves. Lucky had charged in and was holding his own. Elissa ran and climbed the tree standing on the branch that hung low she took aim and shot the wolves that were still coming at them.

Alistair blocked blows from the wolves and took them down. When the wolves lay dead he looked down at the bodies. "That was one way to start this adventure," Alistair remarked.

Elissa climbed out of the tree she had only counted nine dead so she had an arrow still ready. She eyed the trees around them. She saw the wolf as he leapt towards Daveth who was busy drying off his bloody daggers. She brought her bow up took aim and shot the wolf. The wolf yelped mid air and landed short of Daveth. Daveth scrambled up and looked down at the dead wolf in shock. "What the…"

Alistair looked over at Elissa, she placed the bow over her head and shoulders looping it around her, letting it sit against her back. If he had any doubt why Duncan had recruited her it went away with seeing her skill with the bow. Only the Dalish Elves had been known for being quick with a bow but here she was a girl from Highever who could fell an enemy with one arrow. He looked down at the wolf and if he were a betting man he'd bet that arrow hit the wolf's heart.

Elissa looked up at the men who were staring at her. Daveth looked like he had just lost ten years of his life. She went around collecting her arrows not saying a word to anyone. She had waited for a comment from Daveth about her running up a tree but he didn't say a word.

Elissa went up to Lucky who was licking his leg. She bent down and examined his leg and saw two puncture wounds. "Well boy the only thing so far we have to worry about is you becoming a rabid dog."

Lucky whined and tilted his head at her. She smiled down at him running a hand over his ear.

Elissa dug into her pack and grabbed a salve that had been made to increase healing. She rubbed it on his leg. "Anyone else hurt?" Elissa asked to no on in particular.

"A wolf bit Jory," Alistair said.

Elissa looked up and saw Jory holding his arm. Alistair was hovering above him looking at the wound. "Wash it, then put this on," Elissa stood up and handed Alistair the jar of salve.

Alistair took the jar from her, Elissa looked up at him for the first time since they had left the camp. Alistair wasn't sure the emotions that were running through her but she had handled herself better than what he thought she would. The real test was yet to come. She still hadn't faced darkspawn.


	9. Chapter 9

They continued walking looking for signs of darkspawn or even the ruins that housed the treaties. Alistair took up the lead again hoping his sensitive nature to the monsters would help them find them sooner rather than later. He looked up and saw that they had a couple hours until it was dark.

"Over here!"

Alistair stopped and looked around. He could have sworn he heard someone cry out to them. Elissa walked up, "What is it?"

"Did you hear that?"  
>"What?" Jory whispered. He had already grabbed the hilt of his greatsword.<p>

"Shh." Alistair practically growled.

"Help! Over here," the voice called again.

Lucky ran for some bushes and let out a sharp bark and looked back the group. He wagged his tail. Elissa walked up slowly and looked down. Alistair was close on her heels. Daveth and Jory however hung back. They'd rather Alistair and Elissa get taken out first. What if it was a trap after all?

"Thank the maker," a man was lying down on the ground holding his side. "You're a Grey Warden aren't you?"

Alistair noticed the man staring at him and nodded.

Elissa went to kneel down but Alistair put a hand on her arm to stop her. He could sense the darkspawn corruption in the man. Elissa looked up at him with a questioning look. He knew it was stupid to hold her back she'd be going through the Joining she'd know what the man suffered from soon enough.

"What's your name soldier?" Elissa asked quietly smiling down at him.

"Jamie," the man smiled at Elissa.

Alistair recognized a beginning of an infatuation when he saw one. In the Chantry, boys always had fleeing infatuations when they saw a beautiful woman. It was rare when they did cross the path of someone like Elissa, which was why he recognized it.

"I'm Elissa, this is Alistair, what happened to you?" Elissa asked.

"My scouting band was attacked by darkspawn, they came up from the ground. I'm the only one left," the soldier whispered.

Elissa studied the soldier. He was young. She wanted to shake her head the man couldn't have been more than eighteen summers old. "Who was your commander?"

"Lucas Farlan," the man choked out.

Elissa took a sigh of relief. He wasn't one of her brother's men. She looked up and scanned the area. There was no sign of life and knowing Fergus he would have wanted to go as far into the wilds as he could.

"Let's take a look at your side," Alistair said. "We can bandage you up but you'll be on your own after. We have Grey Warden business to deal with out here."

Elissa looked up at Alistair and saw he wasn't going to back down. Warden's tasks came first. The man, boy really would have to find his own way back. Alistair helped Elissa remove Jamie's armor and they looked at the wound. Elissa winced it was already starting to fester. She looked up at Alistair and frowned. He met her look and bit his lip.

They cleaned the wound the best they could then put some of Elissa's salve on it and wrapped his stomach with clean bandages. Alistair helped Jamie stand up. "The camp is back that way," Alistair said. "Do you have a sword?"

"No I lost it," Jamie sounded ashamed of himself.

Alistair looked down.

"Alistair?" Elissa called him over to her.

Alistair left Jamie standing where he was and went to Elissa.

"Let him have your sword, you can use my family's sword. I trust you with it, and plus I'll be able to keep it around me if you use it," Elissa said looking over at Jamie who was staring at her. "That is if you're not too attached to your sword. I'm sorry I didn't even think it could be important."

Elissa looked down ashamed at not thinking about that.

"The sword was issued to me by the Wardens, I can get another if I have to," Alistair admitted. He didn't have a family sword like she had to be proud of. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Elissa nodded and looked up at Alistair. "I'd rather him be armed than know we sent a man out unarmed."

Alistair drew his sword and took it over to Jamie. "Here," Alistair smiled. "Use it well. The path should be cleared until the gate."

"Thank you ser," Jamie beamed taking Alistair's sword. Jamie looked at Elissa and winced in pain at the movement. "Thank you, my lady."

"Take care of yourself Jamie, go report back what you know," Elissa smiled at him. She drew the Cousland sword and studied the handle. It bore the Highever's crests.

They watched Jamie stagger up the path they had just came from. Elissa looked down at Lucky who was watching the soldier leave. "Do you want to follow him back?"

Lucky looked up at her and whined and turned around and headed in the other direction away from Jamie.

Alistair took the sword from Elissa and studied it. It was an old sword, crafted with great skill. "What metal is this made from?"

"Silverite," Elissa said following Lucky. Jory and Daveth who had been whispering to each other while Alistair and Elissa took care of Jamie called out to them.

Lucky, Elissa and Alistair all stopped and turned to look at them. "We've been thinking this is too dangerous," Jory said.

Daveth was nodding.

"Calm down you two, it's safe for now," Alistair sighed. He so did not want to deal with two scared men.

"You heard him, a whole band attacked by darkspawn and he was the only survivor," Jory said. "How many darkspawn can the four of us fight? Ten? A dozen? There's a whole horde of darkspawn in the forest, this is foolish and reckless we should turn back."

Elissa came up and stood next to Alistair. She didn't like this better than them but it wasn't something she was going to argue about. She crossed her arms and stared down the other two recruits.

"Know this, all Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn. We're in no way in danger of walking into the bulk of the horde," Alistair tried to sound reassuring. "Trust me."

"Look, I don't want to sound like a coward but this is too dangerous," Jory didn't seem like he was going to back down.

"This is part of our test Jory, part of our joining. If we can't do this, maybe Duncan shouldn't have even picked us," Elissa added her voice to Alistair's. He looked down at her and smiled softly.

"That is true," Jory said.

Daveth looked at Elissa and she could practically hear him thinking. He was going to side with her because he was charming that way. "I agree with Elissa. Besides if good ole Al here can sense them at least we'll be warned before dying."

"That's reassuring," Jory growled but he wasn't going to leave them.

Daveth and Jory led the way with Lucky beside them. Elissa raised and eyebrow and looked at Alistair, "Al?"

"Oh shush it woman lets go," Alistair shook his head but was smiling.

They walked for fifteen more minutes before coming to a ridge that was five darkspawn scouts were coming over at the same time. The first time Elissa saw them coming at her she froze. "Dear maker," Elissa whispered. The tallest ones looked almost human except their eyes were pure black bottomless pits. She felt the urge to go to her knees and pray to Andraste, to the Maker, to whatever God felt like listening at the time. It was one thing to see them dead it was another to see one that looked like he was smiling at her.

Their teeth were all pointy, and covered with rot and blood and chunks of what looked like was their last meal. Oh Maker, did they eat people? She felt her stomach rebelling at that thought.

"Elissa!" Alistair yelled at her when he noticed she was frozen in place fear showing on her face.

Alistair's heart raced as he saw a genlock appear out of the shadows behind her. The monster's dagger was raised high. Alistair ran towards Elissa. He had to push her out of the way or knock the little monster over one of the two. He didn't reach Elissa in time. She turned when she saw where he was looking and moved to her left just as the dagger came down connecting with her right side.

She felt hot white pain flood through her as the dirty dagger pierced her side. It went through the fleshy part of her side instead of into the major part of her back like he had been aiming for. She let out a piercing scream as she felt the poison that coated the blade enter her blood stream.

The genlock had no time to pull his dagger out. Alistair's shield connected with the green fiend. The genlock went flying. Alistair stood over the little dazed bastard slamming the sword down into the genlock's heart.

Elissa grabbed the dagger in her side and pulled it out. She saw a different type of darkspawn charging at her with his sword drawn and the promise of pain in his eyes. She took the darkspawn dagger in her hand and threw it at the darkspawn. If there was something else she was good at besides archery it was throwing daggers. The dagger hit the darkspawn in the middle of the forehead and he crashed down. She looked over at Jory and Daveth and saw they were fighting back to back against two genlocks. At least they had passed this part of the test. Lucky was chasing after a darkspawn who tried running. She watched as he leapt and tackled the fiend from behind and he clamped down on the monster's neck twisting his head back and forth until Elissa heard the snap.  
>Elissa stood up as Alistair came over to her. "You okay?"<p>

She really didn't know, the poison in her system felt more like a wounding poison not one that guaranteed death. She had an anti-poison potion in her pack that she had made. She always kept one around when she worked with poisons. Especially when she found Oren in her room going through her supplies. Fergus would have killed her if his son accidentally swallowed poison she prepared. "Check on the other two, I'm okay."

Elissa really didn't know if she was though. She felt light headed. She leaned against a stonewall that was part of an old building or structure that the Tevinter invaders had built a long time ago.

Alistair turned and checked on the two men who were looking down at their kills looking like they were going to be sick. "Gather your vial of blood," Alistair said. "Now's as good as time as any."

Elissa found the potion she was looking for and uncorked it. She shot it down her throat and closed her eyes. She hoped the spinning would stop soon. She dug some more through the pack and found a healing potion that would the very least give her energy to let her continue on. She downed that too she hated the taste of it and resisted the urge to throw up.

She went to move away from the wall when she stumbled. Alistair caught her and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry," Elissa whispered.

There faces were close and Elissa felt her mouth go dry. Now was definitely not the time to notice the little green flecks in his eyes or how the light danced off of them and made his eyes look like sparkling amber gems.

"Are you all right?" Alistair sounded hoarse.

"Yeah, just dizzy," Elissa nodded.

The closeness affected Alistair as well. She smelled like spring rain, even amongst the monsters. He should let her go, just step away before he noticed something else about her. They couldn't afford distractions.

"Don't tell me you two have decided to go at it right in front of us?" Daveth sounded amused.

Elissa pulled away and felt the heat rise to her face. "I tripped," she muttered.

"Right, well feel free to trip into me anytime you want, Dove," Daveth laughed.

Elissa bent down next to the genlock that stabbed her and withdrew a clean empty vial and filled it with the blood from the genlock. She wiped any blood she got on her in the grass and then took her water skin, pouring water over her hands.

Alistair saw the blood dripping from her side. "Lis?"

Elissa looked up at Alistair, "What?"

"Your side," Alistair motioned towards it moving towards her.

"Oh yeah, he stabbed me," Elissa shrugged.

"Let me look at it," Alistair said.

"I'm not taking my armor off out here in front of three men I hardly know, Alistair. It will have to wait," Elissa glared.

Daveth looked hopeful at the prospect of her taking her armor off. Jory looked anxious again and was eyeing the woods. Lucky was looking at Elissa with worry.

"Then at least let me know if it gets worse," Alistair said. He wasn't going to argue with the woman about taking her armor off. It would embarrass him more than it would her and he just didn't want to go there.

"I will," Elissa forced a smile even when pain shot through her. "Let's go find those treaties shall we."

They went east and came across more darkspawn. This time Elissa didn't freeze she felt useless though. Pulling the bow's string back to aim burned her side a couple of times the pain was so fierce her aim shook and her arrow went flying wide of her intended target. She was dangerous to the three with her. So she started to fight with her daggers. It hurt as well but at least that way she didn't have to bear the thought of accidentally shooting Alistair.

One particular darkspawn was different from the others. Elissa felt her hair rise as he cast spells. "Emissary," Alistair growled. "I'll handle him."

"Why does he get the magic guy?" Jory growled he had regained his nerve.

"He's a templar," Elissa growled adding 'you idiot' in her head but not saying it out loud. She'd be calling these men comrades if they all made it and now was not the time to make enemies. Elissa watched as Alistair silenced the darkspawn mage. She would have been able to take him out had her side not been causing her trouble. But watching Alistair move, and use his abilities amazed her. She'd never seen a templar fight before. Now she knew why the chantry controlled them.

They rested in a small area that was surrounded by hills on three sides. "Let me look at that side now," Alistair insisted leading her over to a log that was well away from Daveth and Jory.

Elissa wasn't going to argue anymore she felt the heat burning around it.

She turned her back to the three men and slowly slid her armor off pulling the top down enough so Alistair could look at the wound.

He winced when he saw it. It was red. "Was it poisoned?"

"I took an anti-poison I think it's working but it's boiling the poison out of my system," Elissa whispered.

She felt Alistair pour water onto her wound cleaning it. "Where is your salve?'

"In my pack," Elissa pointed to it.

"Where'd you learn archery?" Alistair asked trying to keep her mind of the pain.

"In Waking Sea, my father insisted I learn something. I didn't want to be trained like a warrior. So I chose archery. He sent me to Bann Alfstanna and she made sure I had proper training," Elissa said it without thinking.

"Why though? I mean you're magnificent with a bow but why the bow?" Alistair dug in her pack until he found it. He lathered her wound and then slowly wrapped her waist with his last clean bandage.

"I can see everything better. I can control the fight in a way. I can see who's coming, who's going. I don't like surprises," Elissa admitted. "Being at range I feel more in control."

Alistair felt in control with a shield in front of him, so he understood the need to feel that way.

"What about you? How'd you get to be a templar?" Elissa asked.

"I…I was sent there at a very young age. It wasn't my choice," Alistair admitted. "Duncan found me six months ago and recruited me. He actually had to conscript me. I thought the Revered Mother was going to have us both arrested."

Elissa smiled as Alistair laughed.

"You speak fondly of him," Elissa whispered.

"If it weren't for Duncan I'd be sitting in the chantry being miserable," Alistair admitted. "Being a Grey Warden, that's important. It gave me meaning. I'm actually out fighting real evil not waiting for a mage to turn evil. I owe Duncan a lot."

Elissa knew what he meant. She may have disliked the man right now but Duncan did save her if you could call it that. In a way it felt like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. But she was still alive, something her father wanted for her.

"This will have to do until we get back to camp. You can visit one of the mages and they can mend you up as good as new," Alistair said putting the lid back on the jar.

Elissa slowly pulled her armor back up.

Alistair let out a shaky breath. He'd never had to treat a half naked woman before even if the only thing he saw was her back. He had to concentrate hard to treat her wound. Even then she was a test to his will. He'd have to been blind to not see how smooth her skin was or how her hair curved over he shoulder exposing her delicate neck. She was soft but strong and very beautiful. He shook his head now was not the time for this. He quickly moved away from her clearing his head but the smell of fresh rain lingered around him.

They kept going until they came to an abandoned ruin that wasn't abandoned at the moment. Darkspawn were crawling over it. Alistair led the charge and Elissa tried shooting an arrow again and realized the pain wasn't so bad anymore. She was thankful for that because she didn't want to be up close and personal with their foe again.

They entered the ruins and searched it. "I think this is where the treaties were kept," Alistair said moving a piece of granite off of what looked like a smashed wooden chest. Elissa moved up beside him.

"It's empty," Elissa said. "The scrolls are gone."

"Great, so what do we do now?" Jory asked. "Go back to Duncan I hope."

"Well, well…" a fifth voice said from behind the group. "What do we have here?"


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you a vulture, I wonder? Scavengers poking amidst a corpse whose bones have been long since cleaned? Or merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn filled wilds of mine in search of easy prey?"

Elissa and Alistair studied a woman who was walking down from the top of the ruins. Alistair could feel the magic coming from her. The woman was a mage and she was in the Wilds, which meant she was an apostate, a mage not under the control of the Chantry. Every fiber of his being was reverting to his Chantry upbringing and his training to be a templar.

Elissa just saw a woman who walked with poise. She had no idea the woman was anything but. The woman was beautiful and wore clothing meant to tempt not hide. Elissa was a little uncomfortable with how much skin the woman was showing. She had her brown hair pulled back in a messy bun and painted her eyelids in a shade of red. The woman's eyes were like none she had seen before, an eerie shade of brown like an amber color.

Elissa looked down at Lucky. If he didn't trust someone he was usually growling but he was just staring at the woman his tongue hanging out and his head tilted in curiosity. Elissa bit her bottom lip and wondered why. This stranger didn't seem trustworthy to her.

"What say you? Intruder or scavenger?" the woman snapped. She was looking at Elissa obviously waiting for her to answer.

"I neither belong here nor want anything that does not belong to the Order I represent," Elissa said clearly. "So I guess that would make us intruders in your eyes. And just how are these your wilds?"

Alistair moved closer to Elissa he didn't trust the mage one bit and Elissa's mouth had a way of getting away from her.

The woman laughed, "Because I know them as anyone who would own them should."

Elissa crossed her arms. "Well then you keep strange company with all these darkspawn in your Wilds."

"Ha you speak as if I just let them roam free," the woman said walking past them to a pillar. She eyed Daveth and Jory like they were hers to feast on.

"Don't talk to her, Elissa. She may be Chasind and that means others may be near by," Alistair whispered.

The woman heard him though. "Oh you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?"

"Yes, swooping is bad," Alistair clenched his jaw.

Elissa looked at him, "If she is Chasind it's a little too late now don't you think about worrying bout others. She already 'swooped' so to speak."

"She's a Witch of the Wilds, she is!" Daveth exclaimed. He was staring at the woman as if waiting for her to grow two heads.

Elissa rolled her eyes, she had heard of Witches of the Wild but she wasn't scared of them. Alistair was with her he could just do whatever it was templar's did to mages and they'd be on their way. It was putting a lot of trust in Alistair's abilities but the man fought darkspawn and had already taken down a mage today.

"Witch of the Wilds, such idle fancies," the woman sighed sounding bored. "You there, women don't scare as easily as these men. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine."

Alistair wanted to stop Elissa but he knew she would tell her. She seemed the type to give anyone a chance even an apostate.

Elissa studied the woman and knew she probably wanted something. "My name is Elissa."

"And you may call me Morrigan," the woman said.

Morrigan sounded like an evil name to Alistair. He didn't like her and he didn't like her sudden appearance.

"I have watched you through out the wilds and I found myself wondering, where do they come from? Why are you here? I take it you sought something in that chest. Something that is here no longer," Morrigan said.

"Here no longer? You stole it didn't you? You're some kind of sneaky witch thief!" Alistair growled.

Elissa raised an eyebrow and looked at Alistair. She made a note to herself not to let Alistair be in charge of any type of negotiations. He was letting his emotions run his opinions. She studied him and noticed how tense he was. Then she looked back at Morrigan and wondered if she was indeed a Witch of the Wilds.

"How very eloquent. How does one steal from dead men?" Morrigan asked with a smirk.

"Quite easily," Alistair growled. "Where have you put them? Those scrolls are Grey Warden property and I suggest you return them."

Elissa could have laughed. She didn't think Alistair had a threatening bone in his body but Morrigan was definitely on his hate list.

"I didn't steal them," Morrigan sighed. "Invoke a name that has little meaning here if you must. I am not threatened."

Elissa sighed, "Who took them?"

"My mother if you must know," Morrigan said.

"Your mother? Is this a joke?" Elissa asked.

"If it is a joke it is a truthful sort rather than funny," Morrigan crossed her arms.

"Can you take us to her then?" Elissa asked.

"Now that is a sensible request," Morrigan nodded.

"She'll put us all in the pot she will! Just you wait!" Daveth said.

Elissa looked over at Daveth and saw how scared he was. She thought he'd be all over Morrigan with how she was dressed. But he was actually scared of her. She had heard stories about the witches taking men and using them and then killing them. Maybe he was scared of that.

"If the pot is warmer than this forest, I'm all for it," Jory said. He too looked scared but he was trying to put on a brave face.

"Are you sure?" Alistair said. "We need the treaties but I dislike her sudden appearance?"  
>"I'm right here you know," Morrigan said. "I can hear you."<p>

"Good," Alistair said.

Elissa looked at Alistair and sighed, "Lucky isn't growling I say we can go with her to get the treaties."

"You're judging whether or not she's safe by your dog?" Alistair sounded shocked. "She could have spelled him!"

"I wouldn't waist a spell on a mangy beast," Morrigan sighed.

Lucky growled, he knew when he was being insulted and he didn't appreciate it.

"Oh look he growled, now do you not trust her?" Alistair asked.

"I don't trust anyone Alistair, but we need the scrolls. I want out of the Wilds. I don't want to stay here because we can't find the damn scrolls," Elissa sighed holding her side it felt like she was burning up again.

Alistair saw the movement and sighed. She was right, they needed to get out of the Wilds. She needed healing magic. And the Joining had to take place soon.

"It is settled then? Follow me if you must," Morrigan turned and started walking with the group following behind at a safe distance.

"Morrigan?" Elissa asked when the silence was too much for her to stand.

"What is it?" Morrigan asked sounding impatient.

"How did you follow us?" Elissa hadn't seen a woman in red wandering about the forest.

"I'm a shape shifter," Morrigan said.

"Right," Elissa nodded as if that explained it all. A shape shifter, obviously she knew what that meant but as to what Morrigan could turn herself into that was a mystery.

Alistair touched Elissa's arm and she looked up at him. He didn't want her talking to the woman. He couldn't say her name because she was still a witch to him.

Elissa's side started burning more she wasn't worried about dying just being in pain. She wanted something to take her mind off the ache but no one seemed to be talking. Daveth was eyeing every corner of the Wilds waiting for something to jump at them. Jory looked grumpy. Alistair looked tense and kept a permanent glare on Morrigan. Morrigan the cause for all of this only looked amused.

Up ahead Elissa finally saw a hut and a woman stood up from her seat in front of a fire and studied them. Elissa didn't think they had much to fear from this woman. She looked old and frail. The closer she got though, the more she felt the hair on her arms stick up. Alistair who was walking next to her grew tense. "There's a lot of magic here," he whispered.

"You all right?" Elissa asked. She looked up at him. She wasn't sure how he could stand being sensitive to magic. She wasn't sensitive at all and she felt like she was going to suffocate. She could only imagine how he felt when he was the one who was trained to sense it.

"Yeah," Alistair looked down at her and forced a smile trying to reassure her. "Just dandy."

Elissa smiled and shook her head she didn't believe him for one minute but they were here and this woman whoever she was had their scrolls.

"Mother, I bring before you four Grey Wardens who…" Morrigan said smiling.

"I see girl," the old woman interrupted and studied each of them. Elissa shifted back and forth and felt like she was under inspection. When the woman's eyes fell on her she smiled a half knowing smile. "Much as I expected."

Elissa exchanged a look with Alistair. Alistair being short on temper today smirked. "Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?"

Elissa put her hand on Alistair's. She didn't want to anger the woman and she didn't want the two mages attacking the group. One mage Alistair could handle but two? She didn't know.

Alistair looked down at the touch and knew Elissa was trying to calm him. Her touch calmed his nerves a little but the magic was humming all around him.

"You are required to do nothing," the woman smiled. "Least of all believe. Shut one's eyes tight, open one's arms wide…either way one's a fool."

Elissa tried to decipher what the woman said. Obviously she was mad and talked in riddles. She thought she was saying come in with your eyes shut letting danger come to you without a defense you were a fool. You were also a fool if you walked in to danger with your arms open leaving yourself at the danger's mercy for being too brave, or stupid as the case may be. It was good advice, but the woman still seemed crazy.

"She's a witch I tell you! We shouldn't be talking to her," Daveth growled to the group.

Elissa shot him a look but Jory beat her to it. "Quiet Daveth, if she's really a witch do you want to make her mad?"

"Now there is a smart lad," the woman said. Elissa turned back to her and found the woman studying her still. "Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things. It is not I who decides what you believe. Believe what you will."

Elissa just really wanted to get the damn scrolls and leave. She didn't like this woman she made her feel like she had a thousand tiny spiders crawling over her skin.

"What of you?" the woman asked Elissa, she stepped closer to Elissa and put a hand up to Elissa's face. Elissa had to fight the urge to step away. This time it was Alistair that touched her hand. She took comfort in that.

"Does your woman's mind give you a different viewpoint? Or do you believe as these boys do?" the old woman smiled.

Elissa felt a strong urge to stand up for Alistair, Jory and Daveth. All of their upbringings had only prepared them to be scared of Chasind folk, to fear the Witch of the Wilds. She was no different from the men and if she were here on her own she'd have run a long time ago.

"I…don't know what to believe," Elissa said clearing her throat.

"A statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies. Be always aware…or is it oblivious? I can never remember," the old woman laughed to herself then stopped short. "So much about you is uncertain…and yet I believe. Do I? Why, it seems I do!"

Elissa wanted to back up but the woman was still holding her hand up beside her cheek. "So this is a dreaded Witch of the Wilds?" Alistair laughed.

"Witch of the Wilds? Morrigan must have told you, she fancies such tales. Oh how she dances under the moon!" The old woman dropped her hand from Elissa's face and cackled.

"They did not come to listen to your wild tales Mother," Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Ah, so you've come for your treaties have you?" the woman smiled turning her back to them and going to a chest that was right outside the door to the hut.

Elissa let out the air she had been holding in. She felt Alistair rub a finger along hers and she looked at him. He was watching the older woman but he wanted her to know he was there should she need him.

"The magic has worn off," the woman said turning back to them. She deliberately handed the documents to Elissa. "But I have protected them."

Elissa reached forward to take the documents. The only woman closed one hand around Elissa's wrist.

"You protected them? What…"Alistair started to get upset that she even had them. The woman shot him a look. "That's good then."

The woman looked back at Elissa. "Yes I have protected them. Take them back to your Grey Wardens, tell them that this Blight's threat is greater than they realize."

Elissa felt the tiny spiders over her skin again. She wanted to look away from the old woman but something in her eyes wouldn't let her. "What do you mean?" Elissa whispered.

"It's either greater than they realize or they realize less," the woman smiled.

"We're just recruits they won't believe us and how do you know this anyway?" Elissa asked.

"Do I know this? Perhaps I'm just an old woman who has a penchant for moldy parchments," the woman laughed. "You have what you came for."

"Yes, time for you to go," Morrigan smiled. Elissa could tell she didn't want them here as much as they didn't want to be here. She got a strange feeling however that Morrigan was sent to get them.

"Don't be ridiculous, these are your guests girl," the woman snapped.

"Right, follow me then. I will show you out of the forest," Morrigan snapped. She started walking and the group followed her out.

The old woman's words stayed with Elissa. What did she mean greater than they realize? Everything seemed to be more than they realized lately. Her father's oldest friend was more than they realized and look what that had cost them. Elissa felt dread about the coming battle. She looked over at Alistair and realized he too was in deep thought.

She handed the scrolls to him. "This was your task for Duncan," she said.

Alistair took them and nodded at her. He didn't want to talk while Morrigan was still there. He didn't trust her at all.

"Here we are," Morrigan said stopping short. "Just over that hill you will see the entrance to your camp."

Morrigan didn't wait for them to speak she just turned around turned into a wolf and ran. All four of them stared after her in shock. "She just turned into a wolf," Daveth whispered.

"She did say she was a shape shifter," Elissa said.

"I'm getting out of here," Jory took off towards the camp. Daveth followed him. Alistair, Elissa and Lucky were the only ones who weren't running for safety.

"What do you think she meant?" Elissa asked.

"The only thing I can think of is the archdemon. We know there is one," Alistair said. "Maybe it's more dangerous and closer than we think?"

Elissa studied the ground as they walked. "Whatever it is I have a bad feeling Alistair."

"Everything will be fine. We have a while before the horde of darkspawn reaches us. So we have your Joining to see to first, and a mage healer to see for your side," Alistair sighed. "We'll deal with our bad feelings on this blight once those are seen too."

Elissa knew he was only trying to distract himself as well as her. It wasn't working. Before entering the camp she looked out towards the Wilds and felt the spiders over her skin again. She didn't like any of this.


	11. Chapter 11

They walked up to the fire Duncan was still standing in front of. Elissa studied him and he looked worried. When he saw the group however the look disappeared from his face.

"Have you been successful?" Duncan looked at each of them. Then his eyes set on Elissa.

"We have," Elissa looked at Alistair. "A mother and her daughter had the scrolls."

"I think they were apostates," Alistair said.

"I know you have been trained to deal with them Alistair but it is not your concern anymore," Duncan sighed. "Why did they have the scrolls?"

"One said they were protecting them for us," Jory said. "Crazy old bat."

"She also said this Blight's threat is greater than we realize," Elissa spoke up. "She didn't say how she knew that."  
>Duncan looked at Elissa then looked at the ground. He knew this as well but no one would believe him not until it was too late. "We should get started, the Joining is brief but I've had the mages preparing for it and with the blood you've collected we have what we need."<p>

"Elissa needs to stop by the mages tent, she was injured in the Wilds," Alistair spoke up.

Elissa felt her face grow red. None of the men were injured except for Jory getting bit by a wolf but that was it. She felt inept.

"All right, I'll take her with me to the mages. Alistair take the other two to the old temple," Duncan nodded.  
>Elissa watched Alistair, Jory and Daveth walk away. She looked back at Duncan who was studying her. "What?"<p>

"How were you injured?"

"I was stupid," Elissa whispered. "Is that what you want to hear? I was stupid I saw the darkspawn for the first time and one got behind me and stabbed me."

"That's not stupid, fear is natural with darkspawn. Now that you've seen them tell me what do you think?" Duncan asked and started walked towards the mage's area of the camp.

"They are monsters," Elissa whispered.

"And do you want to stop them?" Duncan asked.

"I want them stopped, but I think you made a mistake in picking me," Elissa answered honestly. "I'm not cut out for this."

"I think you are. Your strength from within is what will help you in the months to come Elissa," Duncan said. "Just like it helped you in Highever."  
>"Wanting to protect my family, my people, my home is what drove me in Highever," Elissa growled.<p>

"And protecting your family, home and people will push you to do the same in the Order," Duncan said.

"What family? Seriously? Fergus is out in the Wilds if he returns, and everyone else is dead! Or do you not remember the fact we left my parents behind to die? I have nothing left Duncan. Nothing," Elissa looked away.

"That is where you are wrong," Duncan, sighed. "But it is not up to me to give you reasons to want to do this."

"I don't have a choice in the matter anymore do I? Just drop it Duncan I am done talking about this," Elissa growled.

They made it to the mages and Elissa was sent to Wynne an older woman who looked at her like she still had things to learn. Lucky stayed outside with Duncan. The woman who was to be her healer was about as old as Elissa's mother had been. She had her white hair pulled back and wore a robe of the Circle of Mages. She had heard the color of the robe often told you what rank they held. This woman's was gold.

"So you were injured by a darkspawn?" the woman clucked.

Elissa nodded and followed Wynne into a tent. "Yes."

"Let's see it," Wynne opened a trunk and turned her back to Elissa.

Elissa took off her armor and lay down on the cot. Wynne's hands touched her and she jumped. "Oh this is bad."  
>"It was poisoned," Elissa said. "I had an antidote in my pack so I used that but I'm not sure what poison it was."<p>

"You're an expert in poisons then?" Wynne asked.

"My brother's wife who was Antivan taught me," Elissa said. "Their women as you know are proficient enough, as well as their men are with assassinations."

"Well it could be useful to know when battling darkspawn," Wynne said. "Have you seen them before today?"

"No," Elissa shook her head and winced as she felt the cold sting of the magic Wynne had conjured on her wound.

"Do you know the Chantry's version of how they came to be?" Wynne asked.

What is this a history lesson? Elissa thought that to herself but she didn't say anything. "The Tevinter mages entered the Golden City in the Fade, the Maker got pissed off and cast them out because they tainted the Golden City which is now the Black City. When he cast them out they became the first darkspawn," Elissa sighed. She may have been rude to say it in such a way but this woman was getting on her last nerve.

"Well then if you know everything we are done here," Wynne snapped.

Elissa winced as hot pain from the closing of her wound traveled through her. She knew the woman had healed her but didn't do it as gently as she could have. She sat up and glared at the woman. "I'm not one of your students Wynne. I don't need to be shown there is evil in the world because I've seen it myself, and not just the darkspawn in the Wilds. Thank you for healing me, good luck in the battle."

Elissa dressed quickly and left. Duncan was still waiting for the mages to finish their portion of the joining. He saw her and frowned. She looked in a worse mood than he had last left her. "Alistair is up the ramp and to the right," Duncan said.

Elissa nodded and called Lucky and both of them left him behind. She walked slowly up where Alistair and the others were waiting. She felt like crying for some damn reason. She thought she had cried enough to last her two life times. She cried herself to sleep almost nightly since she left Highever and now she felt like breaking down as well. She felt like she was walking to her execution.

She cleared the ramp going up to where Jory was pacing. Alistair was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed looking like he was going to kill Jory. Daveth looked just as annoyed sitting on an old table.

"I don't like this," Jory said. "Why so many damn secrets? Haven't we proven ourselves enough?"  
>"Are you blubbering again?" Daveth sighed. "You've gave us ten minutes of peace and quiet and now you're starting up again?"<p>

Elissa went over and stood by Alistair. He was watching her and noticed she wasn't favoring her side anymore.

"Why all these damn tests is all I want to know," Jory said.

"He's been like this the whole time?" Elissa whispered.

"Yep," Alistair nodded.

"Lucky you," Elissa smiled.

"Maybe it's tradition, maybe they are just trying to annoy you," Daveth smiled getting in Jory's face.

"You going to do something about those two?" Elissa asked Alistair.

"I broke them apart last time, it's your turn," Alistair smiled.

"You're such a gentlemen!" Elissa feigned hurt. "Would you two stop there's not much we can do about it now."

"I only know that my wife is in Highever with a child on the way. If they had warned me I just…it just doesn't seem fair," Jory said looking back at Elissa. She hoped his wife was still in Highever, Maker knows what Howe did to her people.

"Would you have come if they warned you? You saw those darkspawn Ser Knight," Daveth called Jory by his nickname for him. "The Warden's do what they must to defeat them."

"Including sacrificing us?" Jory asked.

"I'd sacrifice more if I knew it'd end the blight," Daveth shrugged.

Elissa raised her eyebrows. Out of all of them she would have figured Daveth would be all for running as well. "Would you two shut up?" Elissa said they were giving her a headache.

"Yeah Ser Knight, try not to wet your trousers," Daveth smiled.

"I just have never faced a foe that I could not engage with my blade," Jory whispered.

Elissa shook her head and looked up at Alistair but he was watching someone approach. Elissa looked over and saw Duncan carrying a goblet towards them. He set the goblet on the table and kept his back to them. Everyone had grown silent waiting for him to talk.

"At last, we have come to the Joining," Duncan said. He turned around and looked at each of his recruits. He saw the fear in Jory's eyes, the courage in Daveth's, and the skepticism in the young Cousland's eyes.

"The Grey Warden's were founded during the first Blight when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation. It was then that they first drank of darkspawn blood, and mastered their taint," Duncan said.

Elissa looked at Alistair. She felt the urge to punch him to yell at him. She saw how red his face was and how he couldn't even look at her. He knew what would happen and didn't say a word. Elissa felt very alone, she couldn't trust anyone. It wasn't the first time that she missed Fergus and Roland the two she trusted most in the world. She wished she had them with her. Fergus might have been able to save her from this fate but it was too late now.

"We're going to drink the blood…of those creatures?" Jory swallowed hard.

"As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you," Duncan nodded. "This is the source of our power and our victory."  
>Alistair felt like he should say something. "Those of us who survive the joining, become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the darkspawn and use it to slay the archdemon."<p>

That didn't sound reassuring to Elissa. She could die. The next couple of minutes could be her last. She'd never see Howe brought to justice. She'd never be able to tell Fergus she was sorry for not protecting his family. She'd never be able to do a lot of things. She looked up at Duncan and glared and felt the tears falling down her face on their own. He hadn't told this to her father. Her father had agreed because he thought she'd be able to live.

Duncan looked at her and saw the hate in her eyes. He knew what she was thinking and he hated himself for it but she was a good recruit and he needed more for the Order. The Blight demanded it.

"Let's get on with it," Elissa whispered.

Alistair looked at her and saw the tears it shocked him until he saw the pain in her eyes and her jaw was set with anger.

"We say only a few words before but these words have been said since the first," Duncan whispered. "Alistair if you would?"

Alistair nodded and looked down away from Elissa. "Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day we shall join you," Alistair looked up at Elissa. She stared at him with no emotions. That worried him the most.

Duncan turned towards the table and grabbed the goblet. "Step forward Daveth," Duncan said.

Elissa watched as Daveth, the bravest one out of all of the recruits stepped forward. He took the goblet from Duncan and nodded. He looked at Jory and then at Elissa and smiled. Elissa would remember that smile for the rest of her life.

She watched as Daveth brought the goblet to his lips and he drank. He handed it back to Duncan and then just stood there. Then he began screaming. Elissa started to back up she wanted to run. She felt hands on her arms and looked up to see Alistair holding her in place.

"Don't do it," he whispered.

She shook off his hold and made herself stand still as Daveth fell to the ground drawing his last breath.

"I am sorry Daveth," Duncan said. Elissa looked up at him and saw the sorrow on his face. How many men and women did he see die to the Joining?

"Step forward Ser Jory," Duncan turned towards Jory.

Elissa looked over and saw Jory backing up shaking his head. "No, this is not right. I didn't agree to this. I have a wife and a child," Jory said.

"There is no turning back," Duncan said putting the goblet back on the table.

"No, you ask too much. There is no glory in this!" Jory grabbed his sword.

Elissa watching in horror as Duncan went for his dagger. He blocked the blow that Jory meant to deal and countered it sinking his blade into Jory's side. Elissa backed up further but Alistair was right with her. He didn't want to see Duncan end her life like this.

"I am sorry," Duncan said.

Elissa watched as Jory fell to the ground his eyes staring up at her as he died. She closed her eyes. "But the joining is not yet complete," Duncan said. "Elissa, step forward. You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint, for the greater good. From this moment forth you are a Grey Warden."

She felt Alistair nudge her and she stepped forward opening her eyes. She took the goblet from Duncan and looked down at the blood. She felt bile at the back of her throat and she quickly swallowed it. She looked up at Duncan who was watching her closely. "If I die, tell my brother about Highever," Elissa whispered.

Duncan nodded, "I will."

She brought the goblet to her lips and closed her eyes. She tipped her head back and felt the liquid burst into her mouth. It tasted like copper and bitter like poison. She forced herself to swallow the blood. She opened her eyes and gave the goblet back to Duncan.

Elissa didn't know what was supposed to happen. She felt fine then all at once a great pain filled her. She let out a scream and bent over. It felt like her head was going to expose. He blood felt on fire. Somewhere she heard Lucky barking. He seemed far away. She wanted to tell him she would be all right, but it felt like she was dying. What would happen to him if she died? Who would take care of him?

She opened her eyes and looked up but she didn't see Duncan or even Ostagar. She saw a huge dragon glaring down at her. The dragon glowed green. It was hazy like a dream but it felt real. He looked into her and saw her soul and it scared her. The dragon let out a loud screech and Elissa felt herself falling down as blackness surrounded her.

Alistair caught Elissa before she hit the ground and gently picked her up and placed her body on the table. Duncan came over and studied her. "She lives."

"Was that necessary?" Alistair asked. He was angry. He had never seen Duncan kill someone like he had Jory.

"He drew his weapon Alistair, you know this is not something you can walk away from," Duncan said.

Alistair didn't respond he stared down at Elissa who looked like she was dead. The red blood marked her lips and he wanted to wash it off for her. He hated this was to be her life. He loved it, he felt important and worthy. Elissa should be off raising little girls that looked like her. He felt a strange emotion stirring in him. He didn't know what it was it was foreign to him. He was beyond relieved that she lived and he knew she'd be angry with him for a long time for keeping the blood a secret.

"Don't get the wrong ideas about her Alistair," Duncan said. "Now is not the time to be forming attachments."

"I'm not," Alistair said. "You put me in charge of them, and now she's the only one who lives. I should be concerned about that don't you agree?"

Duncan studied Alistair and knew he was lying but he wasn't going to argue. Both of them had more in common than they realized. He would just make a note to separate them more after the battle.

Elissa stirred a few moments later. She opened her eyes and looked up at Alistair. He smiled down at her and looked relieved. Duncan hovered behind him, "It is finished, welcome."

Elissa slowly sat up. She put a hand on her head and shook it. She had horrible dreams about a dragon and monsters.

"Two more deaths," Alistair sighed and shook his head. He helped Elissa stand. "During my joining only one of us died but it was horrible."

"How do you feel?" Duncan asked.

Elissa looked up at him and glared, "You killed Jory."

"Once he drew his weapon I had no choice. I took no pleasure in ending his life but he could not back out from the joining. He knew this, as did you all," Duncan said.

"So hold him down and force him to drink the blood at least then if he lived you'd have another on your side," Elissa growled.

"He'd have run," Duncan said. "We cannot have that."

Elissa opened her mouth to speak but closed it and chose not to.

"Did you dream?" Alistair asked. "After my joining I had terrible dreams."

Elissa was about to answer him when Duncan interrupted. "Such dreams come when you begin to sense the darkspawn. That along with many other things will be explained in the months ahead."

Elissa looked down and saw Lucky with a paw on her leg. She reached down and patted his head.

"Take her back to camp Alistair, she needs sleep. Tomorrow the King has requested you attend a meeting with myself and others to discuss strategy in the upcoming battle," Duncan said. "The meeting is in the morning as we expect the horde to be upon us by nightfall."

Elissa nodded and watched him walk away. She looked up at Alistair he was looking at her with relief. "Before I forget, we put some of the blood from your joining into a pendant."

Elissa watched as he filled the pendant up with blood from the chalice. "Why?"

"To remind us of those who didn't make it," Alistair put the pendant together and wiped it off handing it to her.

"I won't need a pendant to remind me of them," Elissa looked down at the bodies of her former comrades. "What will happen to their bodies?"

"Duncan will have some soldiers come retrieve them. I do not know about after," Alistair said. "I'm sorry Elissa."

Elissa looked up at Alistair and saw him looking down at Jory's body. "So am I," she whispered.

Neither of them would ever be the same after her Joining. Elissa felt the person she was had been died in Highever with her family. She was now a Warden. Whatever that meant.


	12. Chapter 12

Elissa woke up feeling sick and ran outside towards the bushes and threw up. She had never felt this horrible in her life. It felt like she had been poisoned. Oh wait she had been, twice. Lucky whined at her and she eyed her hound.

"I'm all right boy," Elissa wiped her mouth.

"Elissa?" Alistair walked up behind her. "You okay?"

Elissa looked back at him and nodded, "Just sick."

"After effects of the Joining," Alistair frowned. "You need anything?"

"A bath?" Elissa asked hopefully.

Alistair laughed and directed her to the bathing tent. She went as soon as she was able and when she was clean and her hair lay wet amongst her shoulders Elissa went to the Quartermaster to see if her armor was ready. It was and she went back to the tents and put on the new armor. It felt weird being in different armor. She looked down at the torn and bloodstained leather her father had gifted her with three summers ago. It was now stained with her blood, her father's and her nephew's. She wanted to burn it. It was the least she could do to send them off since she couldn't put them to rest the proper way.

She blocked her thoughts from thinking about what Howe did to their bodies. She didn't want to think of them not getting a funeral service that they deserved. She walked to the fire where Duncan had kept watch the night before. She took the armor and tossed it up on the flaming wood. She watched it burn and silently wept. She said goodbye to her family the only way she could.

"Elissa?" Alistair watched her. He had come out of his tent in time to see her throw her armor on the fire. He watched as she bent her head in what looked like prayer. He had heard her choked sobs and couldn't stand to see her cry anymore.

Elissa spun around and dried her tears and saw Alistair staring at her with concern. She looked away ashamed at being caught.

"Something you want to talk about?" Alistair asked.

"No," Elissa shook her head. "No, thank you though. I should get to the meeting with the King."

Alistair watched her practically run towards the temple where the war council was meeting. She was a mystery to him this Elissa from Highever. He didn't know much about her besides she could fight, she took death hard and she didn't want to be a Grey Warden. Alistair shook his head and looked at the fire, he had a hard time understanding why someone didn't want to be a Grey Warden. But he could feel their taint, their evil. The darkspawn wanted to bring back the old gods and wipe his kind off of Thedas. Alistair could feel them closing in a little more each day. He looked south the way they were coming from and with each step they took he could feel it in his blood humming a haunting tune.

Elissa walked up to the meeting as Loghain and Cailan were at each other's throats. "You risk too much Cailan!" Loghain had insisted.

"I've made my decision and I will stand with the Grey Wardens on this assault," Cailan crossed his arms and set his jaw.

"It's too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the frontlines!" Loghain growled at the young King.

Elissa studied him, she had heard that Loghain helped raise Cailan but the man wasn't talking to him like a man worried about his son. He was scolding him, treating him like a spoiled child. Well that wasn't one way to get the King to see reason.

"If that's the case then perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us, after all," Cailan jabbed at Loghain.

"I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves!" Loghain turned his back on us.

"It is not a fool notion," Cailan stressed. "Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past…and you will remember who is king."

Elissa raised her eyebrow perhaps she misjudged Cailan too harshly yesterday. He was standing up to Loghain that was…shocking to say the least.

"How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century!" Loghain snapped.

"Then our current forces will have to suffice won't they?" Cailan snapped. He turned towards Duncan and Elissa for the first time. "Duncan are your men ready for battle?"

Elissa felt uncomfortable this discussion was one best served for private chambers, tents, or even a private forest. If her father were here he'd say something to help Cailan. She missed him and felt the dull ache in her heart return. He was an adviser to Cailan. Cailan even had her father become and ambassador of sorts to Orlais for Ferelden.

"They are, your Majesty," Duncan nodded.

When Cailan noticed Elissa he saw her red eyes first. He was glad she survived even if she hated it. "Ah young Cousland, I understand that congratulations are in order."

Elissa studied him, did she say thanks to surviving poison? She didn't do anything her body just helped her live through it. "Thank you your Majesty."

"All Grey Wardens are needed now, you should be proud to join their ranks," Cailan beamed.

Elissa looked up at Duncan who was studying her. She wasn't thrilled or proud but she would do her duty. She wondered if she'd ever accept this was her life now. She wondered if she could ever be proud of being a Grey Warden. She decided at that moment, no she couldn't ever see herself doing any such thing. Pain and sorrow were too near.

"Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality." Loghain growled.

Elissa saw Duncan stiffen beside her. He couldn't exactly speak up and argue with Loghain. He was there, as a guest more or less and he wouldn't anger the man who was making up for the manpower the Warden's lacked.

"Fine, speak your strategy," Cailan sighed. He leaned over the table studying the map of Ostagar and the wilds. "The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging our lines and then?"

"You will alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover," Loghain started to explain.

"To flank the darkspawn, I remember. This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes?" Cailan asked studying the map. He looked like he was planning something but hadn't got the plan worked out yet.

Elissa watched Loghain and Cailan closely she was sure she hadn't remembered her father mentioning this much tension between the two. Something was different and that something was probably him calling to Orlais for help.

"Who will light the beacon?" Cailan asked looking at Loghain.

"I have a few men stationed there, it is not a dangerous task but it is vital," Loghain said.

"I think we should send our best," Cailan looked up at Elissa. She looked behind her to see whom he was possibly talking about because it surely wasn't her. "Send Alistair and Elissa."

Elissa shifted, if it wasn't dangerous why send both of them? Alistair was sure going to be upset about not being in the battle. She didn't think it fair, he was her senior he shouldn't be her babysitter.

"If it isn't that dangerous your Majesty, I can go alone," Elissa spoke up.

"No!" Cailan said a little bit to forceful. Elissa raised an eyebrow. "It's best if you both go."

"You rely on these Grey Wardens too much is that truly wise?" Loghain asked.

Elissa glared at Loghain it was her he was insulting that time, not just the Grey Wardens.

"Enough of your conspiracy theories Loghain, Grey Wardens battle the blight no matter where they're from," Cailan said.

What in the void did that mean? Did Loghain have a problem with her being from Highever? Or did he have a problem with Alistair? Alistair seemed harmless enough she doubted it was him Loghain had a problem with.

"Your Majesty, you should consider the possibility of the archdemon appearing," Duncan spoke up.

"There have been no signs of dragons in the Wilds," Loghain insisted.

"Isn't that what your men are here for Duncan?" Cailan asked.

Elissa looked up at Duncan and saw the uncomfortable way he shifted. "Yes, your Majesty," Duncan nodded and looked down.

"Your Majesty," a mage from the Circle stepped forward. "The Tower and the beacon are unnecessary the Circle of Magi…"

"We will not trust any lives with your spells mage," the Revered Mother stepped forward and growled at the mage. "Save them for the darkspawn!"

The mage whoever he was glared at the Revered Mother. Elissa felt like stepping far away from the angered mage.

"Enough!" Loghain growled. "This plan will suffice, the Grey Wardens will light the beacon."

Elissa watched Loghain turn his back cross his arms.

"Thank you Loghain. I cannot wait for that glorious moment. The Grey Wardens battle beside the King of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil," Cailan smiled looking down at the map.

It wasn't the hope of the glory that worried her about this it was the sideways look that Loghain gave Cailan. It was almost filled with disgust about Cailan's glory seeking ways.

"Yes, Cailan. A glorious moment for us all," Loghain nodded.

Elissa stood there as the rest of their party left. She watched the king leave with his head held high and a smile of confidence on his face. She looked at Duncan who stood staring down at the map.

"Will this work?" Elissa asked.

"It's the best battle plan we have at the moment," Duncan sighed. "It's the waiting that makes a man insane. Darkspawn are like that you know, always making us wait. We've never been able to go on the offense and attack them."

"Because they come from the Deep Roads?" Elissa asked.

"That and because they have a tendency to go where we cannot," Duncan nodded. "Even between Blights we're always watching for them to make their move."

Elissa studied the map and her stomach growled. "Go get something to eat Elissa. I ask that you not tell Alistair he won't be in the battle," Duncan sighed.

"He seems eager why do you keep him out of the fighting?" Elissa asked.

Duncan looked at her and shook his head, "He is eager yes, but he is being kept out of this to help you not because we don't trust him. You are new and he knows Ostagar."

Elissa felt like Duncan was lying to her but it wasn't something she was going to press him about.

"Go, get some food," Duncan sighed. "Night comes too quickly."

Elissa went and ate she sat alone and stared into her bowl of stew. She wondered for the hundredth time what she was doing there. She saw soldiers staring at her some with curiosity others with disdain. She knew one thing though, people weren't taking the darkspawn seriously.

"There you are," a cheerful voice said behind her.

Elissa turned and saw Alistair. He sat next to her and studied her. She had looked like she was in a bad mood but that didn't put him off.

"Hi," Elissa smiled.

"How'd the meeting go?" Alistair asked taking a bite of cheese.

"I'll be happy to never attend another one in my life," Elissa smiled. "Loghain doesn't like the Grey Wardens does he?"

"I heard when the Grey Warden's came to ask King Maric to let them return to Ferelden, he disappeared with them for a while. He had to do so behind Loghain's back. Ever since then Loghain has been distrustful of our Order," Alistair said.

"King Maric disappeared with the Wardens?" Elissa asked.

"So the story goes," Alistair smiled. "Duncan said he traveled with him for a bit so I'm assuming it's a true story."

"My father liked King Maric," Elissa admitted.

"Your father knew him?" Alistair raised an eyebrow.

"Um…that is he liked what he had heard about him," Elissa fixed her blunder. "He helped fight Orlais when we were occupied."

"Oh," Alistair nodded.

Elissa sighed, "So anything I should know about what happens to a person after the Joining?"

"You won't sense darkspawn right away," Alistair said. "It takes time."

"What does it feel like?" Elissa asked. "To sense them?"

Alistair thought about that. How did he explain the pull? "You know that feeling you get when you are falling?"

"The 'oh shit' feeling?" Elissa asked.

Alistair laughed, "Yes the 'oh shit' feeling."

"Yes," Elissa smiled.

"It's kind of like that. You feel them in your blood, calling to you but you know that call is wrong. As you age you'll be able to sense the power levels of the darkspawn," Alistair said. "Right now I can only feel that there is a mass horde coming our way. It makes me a little queasy actually."

"Well if you throw up just make sure you aim away from me, thank you," Elissa smiled.

"Perish the thought of throwing up on a lady! I'd never be able to live that one down," Alistair smiled. He studied Elissa's haunted eyes and sighed. "This morning by the fire what was that about?"

"I was saying goodbye," Elissa sighed. "I guess you could say. To my old life."

"You didn't want to be a Warden?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

"It wasn't my first choice but I agreed to it. Duncan didn't need to conscript me. I was told it was my duty, and so by my duty I am now here," Elissa looked up at Alistair. "Hope you don't think badly about me for that. This just isn't the life I thought I'd live."

"What kind of life had you expected for yourself?" Alistair asked.

"A quiet one," Elissa smiled. "But I guess in a land that is scarred by war that was too much to ask for. I would have married I suppose if I hadn't been recruited. I fought marriage off as long as I could because I liked my freedom. I drove my mother insane, she wanted more grandbabies."

"You must miss your family," Alistair said. He wondered what that was like, to have a family.

"I do," Elissa sighed. She closed her eyes and refused to cry they were gone and she must go on.

"Well being a Warden doesn't mean you're held prisoner, when this is over you can see them again," Alistair smiled.

She looked up at him and wished she could tell them they were all dead. Even Fergus seemed to be lost to her now. Maybe it was best he thought she died up in Highever. Maybe she'd ask the King not to tell him she lived. But she knew she couldn't do that to him.

"Are there targets anywhere I can practice on?" Elissa asked.

"Yeah, behind the King's tent up on the rise," Alistair nodded in the direction.

"I think I will go do that while I can," Elissa licked her lips and stood up. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"No, thank you," Alistair smiled at her and watched her go. She was a puzzle to him. He shook his head and decided he'd never understand women.


	13. Chapter 13

Alistair could feel the battle in the air. The darkspawn horde was close and he was sent to collect Elissa who hadn't come back from target practice. He found her overlooking the valley where the fires of the darkspawn torches could be seen.

"Elissa?" Alistair came up beside her.

"That is what we face?" Elissa looked up at Alistair. "You feel them?"

"I feel them yes," Alistair clenched his jaw. It was uncomfortable and a curse as well as a blessing for all of Thedas.

Elissa looked up at him, "I don't want to feel that."

Alistair looked down at her and saw the fear in her eyes. He didn't know what to say to it. "We need to get to Duncan."

She nodded and started to walk back with Alistair taking a final look at the approaching horde felt a shiver down his spine. He followed Elissa to Duncan.

Elissa studied Duncan who stood by the fire looking into the flames as if they held the secrets to the world. He smiled at her and Alistair. His young Grey Wardens stood looking at him awaiting their instructions. He remembered when he was new, when he was new to the Wardens. He had more in common with Elissa than she knew, and she probably wouldn't welcome the knowledge of it.

"You heard the plan Elissa," Duncan began then looked at Alistair. "You two go to the Tower of Ishal to light the beacon."

"You mean I won't be in the battle?" Alistair looked from Duncan to Elissa. Elissa looked down feeling guilty.

"This is by the King's order Alistair," Duncan said.

"I think Alistair should at least be in the battle," Elissa said looking up.

"That is not your decision," Duncan sighed. "The Grey Warden's do what they must to defeat the darkspawn. Glamorous or not the beacon must be lit."

"I get it," Alistair sighed. He knew this would happen. He'd be left out again. He wasn't at all surprised but it didn't cut back on the sting of it. "If the King ever asks me to dance the Remigold in a dress I'm drawing the line, darkspawn or no."  
>Elissa looked over at him. She was so surprised by his remark she smiled. "I'd like to see that," she laughed.<p>

"For you? Maybe, but it has to be a pretty dress," Alistair looked down at her.

"With ruffles?" Elissa asked.

"Of course, Maker forbid there be no ruffles!" Alistair smiled.

Duncan sighed loudly and shook his head, "Can we please get back to the matter at hand?"

"Of course," Alistair said. "Sorry Duncan."

"Alistair knows what to look for as to when the light the beacon," Duncan said. "You have about an hour until the darkspawn should be on us. Do what must be done to ensure the beacon is lit, I trust you both. And remember you are both Grey Wardens I expect you to be worthy of that title."

Elissa didn't know if she was worthy but she nodded anyway, "I know what we have to do."

"Then I shall leave you both," Duncan said. He studied them again and was about to turn to leave when Alistair stopped him.

"Maker watch over you Duncan," Alistair sounded like he wanted to say more but he couldn't find the words. Elissa watched and saw the worry in his eyes.

"Maker watch over us all," Duncan smiled and left.

Elissa went about packing her gear. When they stood ready they heard horns in the distance. She looked at Alistair and he was looking at her, the battle had begun. Lucky howled at the sound and looked at Elissa. She frowned she didn't want to take him with her but leaving him wasn't an option. "We need to go Elissa," Alistair said. She felt the tension coming off of him and nodded.

They made their way through the camp and to the bridge just in time to see a massive boulder fly through the air and hit one of the ruins across the bridge from them. Elissa swallowed hard.

"We need to move now," Alistair yelled seeing more boulders flying towards the bridge. He didn't want to be caught on it if it collapsed.

Elissa nodded and ran towards the tower, Alistair was right behind her. It was loud, men were shouting and they could hear the screaming and cries of rage below them in the valley. Elissa was trying to get past some soldiers when Alistair looked over and saw a big boulder flying towards them. It would hit the bridge below them.

"Elissa!" Alistair reached for her and grabbed her hand and pulled her forward. He knew they wouldn't get clear of the debris he pulled her down against the far side of the bridge and covered her body with his. He felt stone bouncing off of his shield that was strapped to his back.

Elissa was angry she hadn't seen the boulder that smashed into the bridge and now she felt delicate because Alistair was the one baring the weight of the falling debris. She didn't have time to comment on it, Alistair pulled her up a second later and continued running letting go of her hand to do so. Elissa saw Lucky barking at them from the other side of the bridge. She breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't been around the flying stone. She continued to follow Alistair across the bridge. She was so not cut out for battle, she growled at her anger again and forced herself to just keep going when she really wanted to do was tuck tail and run.

They reached the base of the tower and Elissa looked up at it. Something was wrong she felt it in her bones. She saw a soldier and a mage running towards them.

"You! You are Grey Warden's aren't you?" the soldier said bending over catching his breath.

"What's happened?" Alistair asked.

"Darkspawn have over run the tower," the soldier said looking up at Elissa and Alistair. "They come up from the lower chambers. Most the men are dead."

Elissa looked at Alistair he bit his bottom lip thinking. "Then we have to get to the beacon and light it ourselves."  
>Elissa felt like asking if he was mad, there were two of them and Maker knows how many darkspawn. But the mage and the soldier who quickly introduced themselves as Patry and Daggen followed them.<p>

Elissa didn't have time to think she fought the darkspawn that were in the courtyard fighting the soldiers who were stationed there. Alistair led the way into the tower. It was a mess and no one was alive.

When they finished fighting the darkspawn on the first floor and were on the stairs to the second floor Elissa stopped to catch her breath. Alistair stopped and looked at her.

"Maker's breath what are the darkspawn doing here?" Alistair looked around.

"You could try telling them they are in the wrong place," Elissa took a sip out of her water skin.

"Yes, this was all just a big misunderstanding, we'll laugh about this later," Alistair sighed.

"Some of these bodies aren't fresh Alistair," Elissa said ignoring his sarcasm. "They've been here for a while."

"Loghain closed off the tower yesterday," Alistair frowned.

"Are there a lot of darkspawn here?" Elissa stood up straight and pulled an arrow to get it ready for the next batch. She wished she could feel the darkspawn now. She hated not knowing.

"I can't tell the exact number but it feels like more than a few and less than the horde but there's something big here," Alistair said.

"Great, just how I wanted to end my day," Elissa sighed.

"Could be worse," Alistair smiled. "It could be the archdemon."

Elissa shook her head and started running with the others in the direction of the next staircase to head up to the beacon. They fought what felt like was endless darkspawn.

As soon as they reached the top they all froze and Lucky started growling. In the shadows they saw something huge. It looked to be eating on bodies.

"What is that?" Elissa choked on the stench.

"Ogre," Alistair said.

The great beast turned around and roared at them. Elissa wanted to run. It was horrible, worse than the other darkspawn they had ever faced. It had horns on top of its head and looked to be all muscle.

It charged at the group and Elissa dove out of the way. She scrambled up to her feet and turned just in time to see it grab Patry the soldier and squeeze him and threw him towards the stairs. Elissa stared at the lifeless eyes of the soldier.

She heard Lucky barking and growling in the background and forced herself to draw an arrow and aim. She tried aiming for his eye but he kept turning. Alistair tried to keep his attention to give Elissa time to damage the monster. The mage cast a paralyzing spell on the ogre and it gave them time. Elissa's arrows bounced off his skin like it was rock.

She growled and put her bow away and grabbed her daggers. She didn't want to be up close and personal with the beast but her weapon of choice wasn't cutting it.

Just as she grabbed her daggers she saw the beast unfreeze and roar in rage. He backhanded Daggen. The mage went flying and didn't get up. When Elissa looked back at the ogre she saw in horror as he grabbed Alistair and lifted him off the ground.

"No!" She yelled running towards the beast. She launched herself up on the ogre's back using her daggers to stab into him. She needed him to release Alistair.

Alistair's ribs hurt. If the big bastard squeezed harder he'd be dead. He had heard Elissa yell and then she was suddenly there. She was looking at him over the ogre's shoulder. Somehow she had climbed on top of the monster. They looked at each other and Alistair saw the fear and the determination in her eyes.

Elissa raised her dagger above the ogre's head and brought it down hard. The blade sunk off into the ogre's skull and when Elissa tried pulling it out the blade broke.

"Shit," she whispered. Fergus had given her the set of daggers for her birthday now one was broken because of a stupid ogre.

She brought the other dagger and stabbed the ogre's neck. The pain from her blows caused the ogre to drop Alistair. Alistair rolled to the side and came up just in time to see the ogre falling. Elissa jumped off and rolled clear of the monster her daggers still sticking out of the ogre who lay dead.

Alistair ran over to her, "You okay?"

"Me?" Elissa whispered she didn't trust her voice.

"Yes you," Alistair smiled.

"You're the one he was trying to hug! Why are you asking me if I'm all right? Are you all right?" Elissa looked shocked.

Alistair could have burst out laughing at the look on her face. "I'm still breathing thanks to you."

"Would you light the beacon," Elissa said. "I don't trust myself to stand."

Alistair looked her over and saw it was just fear and nerves catching up to her. He ran over to the beacon and took the torch beside it on the wall and threw it on the wood that had been piled up. The whole tower lit up and the signal was sent. It was up to Loghain now.

Elissa had crawled over to Daggen and rolled him over. The mage was dead his neck was at a wrong angle.

She closed her eyes. The poor man had barely been out of the Circle Tower and now he was dead. She reached forward and closed his eyes. Then prayed to the Maker and Andraste to see him safely to their side. She had seen more death since Howe had attacked her home than she had her whole life.  
>Alistair watched her and shook his head. She had handled herself well. She had even saved his life. But now she said a prayer for a man she had never known until now. Alistair walked over to the ogre and pulled her dagger out of the beast. He saw her other dagger had busted in half.<p>

Elissa got up and went over to Patry. She did the same thing for him that she did for Daggen. Then she got up and saw Lucky staring at her. She went over to him leaned down and hugged him. She didn't do this to him often because he always pulled away but this time he leaned into her.

Alistair saw the exchange but didn't say a word. He stared down at the ogre studying it for it had been the first time he had seen one. Elissa went about collecting her bow and arrows. She was down to ten arrows and one dagger. She shook her head and felt unprepared.

Elissa went over to Alistair. "How do you think the battle is going?"

Alistair shrugged and looked at Elissa. She had blood on her cheek and he wanted to wipe it off it marred her beautiful face. He saw unshed tears in her eyes.

"You did well with the darkspawn," Alistair felt like and idiot saying that. He saw her gaze at the bodies of the mage and soldier. He knew her thoughts. If she did so well why were two dead? He felt her thoughts as his own.

"Me or them right?" Elissa found herself saying.

Alistair held out her dagger. Elissa took it and put it back in its sheath. "Thanks," she whispered.

Alistair went to the window and looked out. The battle was far away and he couldn't make out who was winning but the feeling in his gut, the constant hum that the darkspawn were near was getting heavier.

Elissa followed him and looked down. She didn't want to be up in the tower, she wanted to be far away. Lucky started growling and looking at the door. "Lucky," Elissa whispered and turned towards him. She went over to him and grabbed his collar.

Before they could react darkspawn poured up the stairs. Elissa felt hot pain as three arrows hit her, one in the shoulder one in the side and one in the thigh. She screamed and went down.

Alistair cried out as well and collapsed somewhere behind her. Elissa felt darkness taking her. "Lucky!"

Lucky crawled over to her he had an arrow in his back leg. He laid his head on her chest and whined. He was the last thing Elissa saw before passing out.


	14. Chapter 14

Dark images clouded her mind. Monsters, creatures and awful howling followed by what could only be described as maniacal laughing. The images and sounds started to fade as Elissa slowly came awake. She hurt, that was the first thing that came to mind. Her head was pounding. Her whole body felt like she had fallen down stairs. She moaned and slowly opened her eyes. The light blinded her and she brought her hand up and pushed on her eyes trying to will the pressure away. She slowly sat up against the protests of her muscles.

"Your eyes are finally open, Mother will be pleased," a feminine voice said.

Elissa jumped at the sound. She opened her eyes and her eyesight blurred. She blinked a few times to clear them and found herself looking at the girl from the wilds. Morganna, Morgena, no Morrigan that was her name.

"What…what happened?" Elissa looked around. She realized she was naked and clutched the blanket to her chest feeling exposed. She figured she was back in the wilds but how was that possible. The last thing she remembered was the tower and darkspawn.

"You were injured and Mother rescued you, do you not remember?" Morrigan asked.

"I…no, I remember darkspawn overrunning us," Elissa frowned. How did an old woman rescue her?

"The darkspawn won your battle. The man who was to respond to your signal quit the field. Those he abandoned were massacred," Morrigan said.

"Wait, what? The King? Duncan and the other Grey Wardens? Are you saying they are all dead?" Elissa stared up at Morrigan.

"Yes, all dead," Morrigan nodded. "Your friend is distraught by the news."

"My friend?" Elissa whispered. "Alistair?"

"If Alistair be the suspicious dimwitted one who was with you before, yes it is he," Morrigan smiled.

Elissa didn't think that was a nice thing to say about Alistair. She wanted to defend him but sorrow racked her heart. The King was dead. Duncan was dead. She felt like screaming or laughing. Panic was rising in her chest. The darkspawn won the battle. She was trying to run that over and over in her head. "Are you saying no other Grey Wardens live?"

"You and your friend are the only two left," Morrigan said. "If there are others they have likely retreated but it is doubtful since they were on the front line."

Elissa groaned and put her face in her hands. Why did this happen to her? She could barely handle her family dying…Fergus!

"What about the scouts that the King had in the wilds? Do you know anything about them?" Elissa asked looking up at Morrigan.

Morrigan shook her head. "If they survived they will likely be making their way out of the Wilds. But since the darkspawn has overrun your camp it is doubtful that they live."

Elissa felt the world turn upside down for the third time. She felt the tears forming. She wanted to cry but she could only imagine the words that Morrigan would say to her. This was a woman who didn't hide her feelings.

"Mother is out by the fire. She asked to speak to you when you have awoken. Your gear is right there," Morrigan pointed to the pile of armor and her bow and quiver. "Your friend is also outside."

"My dog?" Elissa asked. "Did…is he…?" She couldn't finish the sentence.

"Your beast is outside," Morrigan said with a hint of distaste. "He was laying on top of you when Mother rescued you. She had to bring him."

Elissa felt her heart soar. At least Lucky was still alive. She had to focus on that because if she thought about Fergus, the King, and Duncan she'd go mad. She'd probably already go mad now that Alistair and her were the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden. But at least she would be a crazy girl who still had her Mabari.

She slowly stood up while Morrigan busied herself at the fireplace. Elissa looked over her shoulder and saw a scar. It was new, so was the one on her side and thigh. She winced remembering the feeling of those arrows piercing her flesh.

She slowly dressed and grit her teeth with every movement. She carried her bow and quiver in her hands and looked at Morrigan. The woman didn't acknowledge her so Elissa slowly let herself out. It was dusk Elissa noticed. The swamp was eerily quiet. She looked around and Lucky barked.

Elissa closed the door behind her and she set her weapons down as Lucky bounded for her. She knelt down and was knocked on her butt by the hound that smelled her all over to make sure she was safe. Elissa smiled and laughed, "I'm all right boy."

She looked him over to make sure he was in one piece and when she was satisfied she looked up.

"It seems you worry too much young man," Morrigan's mother said from her rocking chair beside a fire.

Elissa stood up and looked at Alistair for the first time. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked torn between bursting into tears and smiling. Elissa went to him and without thinking she wrapped her arms around him. She hid her face in his chest and let the tears fall. She wouldn't allow him to be the only blubbering idiot she'd join him.

Seeing Elissa walk out of the hut brought relief to Alistair. He had lost everyone and she was the only one he had left. He couldn't face the Blight on his own it was doomed to failure. It probably was doomed to failure as is.

When Elissa came towards him and wrapped her arms around him he didn't know how to react. He wrapped his arms around her and hid his face in her hair that was loose from its usual braid. He let the tears fall, as he had known she was doing the same. It felt like an eternity that they stood embracing until she finally pulled away from him and looked up staring.

"You," Alistair said his voice was soft like he couldn't believe it was real. "You're alive, I thought you were dead for sure."

Elissa wiped her eyes and shook her head, "I feel like this is a very bad dream. I'm glad you're alive."

"If it weren't for Morrigan's mother," Alistair whispered. "We'd be dead."

"Bah don't talk about me like I'm not here," the woman said.

Elissa and Alistair both looked at the woman. "I'm sorry, I just don't know your name. What do we call you?" Alistair asked.

"Names are pretty but useless," the woman smiled. "The Chasind folk call me Flemeth."

"The Flemeth? From the legends? Daveth was right you are the Witch of the Wilds," Alistair stared in somewhat a state between shock and anger. His templar training was showing itself.

"I have a bit of magic yes," Flemeth smiled. "And it has served you two well has it not?"  
>"Why did you save us?" Elissa asked.<p>

"Well we can't have every Grey Warden's dying at once can we? It is after all the Grey Warden's responsibility to unite the land against the Blight is it not? Or has that changed?" Flemeth eyed Elissa.

She didn't know what to say. She was lost and confused and did Morrigan say Loghain quit the field. Why?

"The land is hardly united anymore thanks to Loghain," Elissa whispered.

"That doesn't make any sense why would he do it?" Alistair asked looking at Elissa.

She knew why he would. She had a hunch it had to do with Cailan bringing in Orlais. Fear was a big motivator for people to do stupid and dangerous things.

"That is a good question," Flemeth smiled. "Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature. Perhaps he believes the Blight is something he can out maneuver. Perhaps he doesn't see the evil behind the Blight is the true threat."

"The archdemon," Alistair growled and looked out towards the Wilds.

Elissa shook her head she felt out of place. She had no idea what to do. "Alistair is the real Grey Warden here, I just joined."

"I've lost everyone," Alistair said looking at Elissa. She felt his stare burn right through her. "For the love of the Maker don't back out on me now. I can't do this on my own."

Elissa felt her face redden and looked at Flemeth then at Alistair. "Can I talk to you alone Alistair?"

"Don't mind me, I'll be right here." Flemeth said.

Elissa walked a distance away without looking to see if Alistair was following. When she looked back he was right behind her.

"I can't do this Alistair! I don't know a damn thing about fighting a Blight!" Elissa voiced her fear. "How are we going to do this? By ourselves?"

"I don't know a damn thing either. I'm almost as new as you are to the Order!" Alistair said.

Elissa studied him she knew he was taking the deaths hard. "When were the Grey Wardens from Orlais due to be here?"

"I…I don't know," Alistair sighed.

"If Loghain pulled out for the reasons I think he did and they aren't within Ferelden's borders now he'll stop them from coming," Elissa sighed. "And it will be just you and I once more."  
>"Why would he pull out?" Alistair frowned.<p>

"He fears Orlais occupation again," Elissa explained. "Anything that has to do with Orlais he is adamant against. When Queen Anora hired an Orlesian elven servant as her personal maid he exploded. Something about Maric had once trusted an Orlesian elf who turned out to be a spy."

"How do you know this?" Alistair asked studying Elissa.

"I just…I heard it from the Couslands," Elissa sighed. "Look I'm not going to back out on you Alistair. But just so you know I think this is crazy."

"I think it's crazy too. We're the only Wardens left Elissa," Alistair's voice softened.

Elissa licked her lips than bit her bottom lips. "Are you all right? The attack didn't cause permanent damage did it?"

"Flemeth healed my wounds," Alistair sighed.

"I wish she would have saved Duncan and the King as well," Elissa whispered.

"I agree," Alistair nodded.

"So what do we do?" Elissa asked.

"I can't help but over hear your conversation," Flemeth yelled. "But you do have more to your disposal than you think."

Elissa looked up at Alistair then at Flemeth. She moved back over to Flemeth. "Oh and what do we have?" Elissa asked.

"What did you come to the Wilds for in the first place?" Flemeth eyed them both.

"The treaties?" Elissa asked raising her eyebrows. "But we gave them to Duncan."  
>"I have them," Alistair said excitedly. He reached into his pack and pulled out the scrolls. He turned to Elissa and smiled. "Duncan gave them to me for safe keeping and to read them."<p>

Elissa took them from him and looked at each one. "Dwarves, Dalish, and the Circle," she saw that was whom the treaties were for.

"We can go to them for help and use the treaties," Alistair smiled.

"What about the humans, nobles, and commoners?" Elissa asked. "We're going to need them too."

Alistair bit his lip, "We can go to Arl Eamon. He wasn't at Redcliffe he still has all his men. He was also Cailan's uncle. He won't let what Loghain did go without punishment. He also has the respect of the people to unite the nobles."

Elissa didn't need Alistair to explain who Eamon was. She knew him and knew his family. "Then we'll go to him," Elissa nodded.

"I may be old but that sounds like you have the start of an army," Flemeth smiled.

"Can we do this? Build an army?" Alistair asked staring at Elissa.

She shrugged, "I doubt it will be that easy the way things are going for us but why not?"

"So you are set then? Ready to be Grey Wardens?" Flemeth asked both of them.

Elissa paused, was she really agreeing to help build an army to stop monsters? Her life had fallen apart in less than a week and here she was trying to play hero. This wasn't her. She felt like running. Somewhere at the back of her mind she could hear her father. "Our family always does our duty first, you must go for your sake and for Ferelden."

"As ready as we'll ever be," Elissa sighed. She felt like she was marching to her death but at least she wasn't going alone.

"There is one more thing I can offer you," Flemeth said.

Elissa's head snapped up and frowned at Flemeth. What was she playing at?  
>The door to the hut opened and Morrigan walked out. "The stew is bubbling Mother, shall we have two guests this eve or none?"<p>

Elissa moved closer to Alistair as Morrigan's gaze glared over them. She knew when she wasn't wanted somewhere.

"The Warden's are leaving shortly girl, and you will be joining them them," Flemeth said.

"Such a shame…what?" Morrigan looked sharply at Flemeth.

"You heard me girl, the last time I looked you had ears," Flemeth laughed.

Elissa looked at Alistair who looked like he was turning red in the face. He didn't like the idea of Morrigan coming along. She couldn't say she was a fan of it either.

"Have I no say in this?" Morrigan asked.

"You have been itching to get out of the Wilds for a while here is your chance," Flemeth said.

"Thank you but if Morrigan doesn't wish to go…" Elissa started to say.

"Morrigan will be useful to you. You two can use a bit of magic. Consider this repayment for your lives," Flemeth eyed both Alistair and Elissa.

"Not to look a gift horse in the mouth but, won't this add to our problems? Out of the Wilds she's an apostate," Alistair said slowly.

"If you did not wish help from us illegal mages young man perhaps I should have left you on that tower," Flemeth glared at Alistair.

Alistair took a step back and stood slightly behind Elissa. "Point taken," he mumbled.

Elissa studied the mother and daughter. She didn't like this one bit but it was Flemeth's game for now. She felt like a game piece on one of her father's gaming boards.

"Mother, this is not how I wanted this. I'm not even ready," Morrigan said.

"You must be ready. Alone these two must unite Ferelden against the darkspawn. They need you Morrigan, without you they will surely fail. And all will parish under the Blight even I," Flemeth narrowed her eyes.

"I…understand," Morrigan said.

"And you Wardens do you understand? I give you that which I value above all in this world. I do this because you must succeed," Flemeth said.

"She won't come to harm with us," Elissa said. Why not send everyone with them? They were all doomed to fail anyway, Elissa thought sarcastically.

"Allow me to get my things if you please," Morrigan said disappearing back into the hut.

Elissa looked over at Alistair he was shaking his head. She turned to him and grabbed his hand. He looked down at her and looked confused.

"We'll get through this Alistair," Elissa found herself whispering. She didn't know why she was reassuring him when she felt like they were going to fail.

Alistair nodded at her and squeezed her hand.

A moment later Morrigan appeared. "I am at your disposal Grey Wardens. I suggest a village north of the Wilds as our first destination. It is not far and you will find much you need there. Or if you prefer I will simply be your silent guide," Morrigan said through gritted teeth. "The choice is yours."

Elissa and Alistair looked at each other. "Speak your mind by all means," Elissa found herself saying.

Flemeth laughed, "You will regret saying that."  
>"Dear sweet Mother, you are so kind to cast me out like this. How fondly I should remember this moment," Morrigan smiled sweetly at her mother.<p>

"Did it get a little chilly out here?" Alistair whispered.

Elissa felt like laughing.

"Well I always said if you want something done do it yourself. Or hear about it a decade or two afterwards," Flemeth smiled.

"I just…do you really want to take her along because her mother said so?" Alistair asked.

"We need all the help we can get Alistair," Elissa sighed.

"You're right, the Grey Wardens have always taken allies where they can find them," Alistair glared at Morrigan.

Elissa felt the start of a headache coming on and it pounded more with Morrigan's next remark.

"I am so pleased to have your approval," Morrigan smiled sweetly at Alistair.

"I think we should get going," Elissa sighed.

"Farewell Mother. Do not forget the stew on the fire. I'd hate to return to find a burned down hut," Morrigan smiled.

"Bah, tis far more likely you will return to see this entire area including my hut swallowed up by the Blight," Flemeth scoffed.

"All I meant was…" Morrigan looked remorseful. Elissa raised her eyebrow at that.

"Yes I know, do try to have fun now," Flemeth smiled.

Elissa went over and grabbed her gear looping her bow over her head she took off walking following behind Morrigan who was to be their guide. "Thank you Flemeth," Elissa called as they went over the hill that led away from the hut.

She didn't hear the response but she saw the woman nod. Lucky loped along in front of her and Alistair was at her side glaring at Morrigan's back. Morrigan was bound and determined to ignore them it seemed. Elissa let out a deep sigh. It was going to be an adventure with this small group that was for sure.


	15. Chapter 15

"Can we please stop?" Elissa groaned. It was dark and the only light they had to go by was the blue glow in Morrigan's hand. But she was so far ahead of Alistair and Elissa that they kept tripping over tree roots and rocks and Maker knows what else.

"We must keep moving," Morrigan sighed. "Darkspawn do not just give up because you are tired Warden."

"My name is Elissa," Elissa glared at Morrigan.

"As you say Warden," Morrigan smirked but kept moving.

Elissa tripped over another tree and Alistair caught her before she face planted it into some murky water. "Thanks," Elissa mumbled. She was shivering and pulled her damp cloak tightly around her.

Alistair sighed he wanted to stop as well but the walking and moving kept his mind off of Duncan.

They continued to walk for hours until dawn was on the horizon. They finally cleared the Wilds and as soon as Elissa saw the fields she fell to the ground and sighed thankful to be out of the damn swamp.

Morrigan looked back at her and frowned. Alistair bent over and put his palms on his knees and took deep breaths.

"We must keep moving," Morrigan said.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Elissa looked up and forced herself to sit on her knees.

"No, I am not kidding you," Morrigan glared.

"You haven't been injured. We, might I remind you were injured. I'm exhausted I hurt and I want to sleep!" Elissa frowned.

"Lothering is close," Morrigan said.

"No one is awake at this hour in Lothering! We can afford to find a place to sleep," Elissa growled.

Morrigan sighed she looked at Alistair. He was worn out as well but he wasn't complaining out loud like the little noble girl. Oh yes, Morrigan could tell Elissa was a noble. It was the way she walked and talked.

"Fine," Morrigan said. "I have done my duty anyway and escorted you out of the Wilds you lead from here."

"Then I'm leading us to sleep," Elissa forced herself up. She started walking towards a cliff in the distance. It would give them shelter. As soon as she was there she lay down and didn't care about the others. She had pushed herself almost all night just to get out of the swamp.

Lucky curled up in front of Elissa helping her keep warm. Within minutes she was sleeping.

Alistair stared at her from where he had taken a seat. He wondered how she could go to sleep so fast. Every time he closed his eyes he remembered Ostagar. He saw Duncan. He thought about all the ways he could have saved Duncan, saved them all.

"Do you not share your fellow Warden's exhaustion?" Morrigan asked. She was going about making a fire.

Alistair looked up at the witch. He didn't feel like answering her but forced himself to speak. "So you can kill both of us in our sleep? No I think I'll stay awake."

"I will not kill either of you fool. How else will we end this Blight?" Morrigan sighed.

Alistair sighed he felt he was being ridiculous but he didn't trust her or her mother. He finally forced himself to remove his shield and the sword Elissa gave him and then used his pack as a pillow. He closed his eyes and thought he'd be haunted by his thoughts but he only found peace in sleeping.

Elissa slowly woke up she felt groggy and still exhausted. She had a feeling she'd feel that way for weeks and possibly months to come. She sat up and saw that Morrigan was still asleep. Alistair was snoring away and mumbling in his sleep. She smiled at that. "Stay and guard," Elissa whispered to Lucky.

She went into the field and looked for some rabbits to kill for breakfast. She found three and brought them back. When she reached the camp Alistair came awake and grabbed his sword and held it out towards Elissa ready to strike.

Elissa froze and raised an eyebrow. "Is this how you say good morning?"

"Shit, I'm sorry Elissa," Alistair set the blade down and ran his hand through his hair. He looked down at the ground and frowned. He was starting to feel the taint within Elissa. He looked at her and wondered if she had the nightmares yet.

Elissa went about cleaning the rabbits and then cooked them over the fire with herbs she found bound inside of them. Fergus had insisted she learn how to cook while out on the move. She didn't relish the task especially cleaning the rabbits but it was necessary now.

Morrigan awoke and gracefully stood up and walked away from the camp without a word. Elissa found herself wishing she wouldn't come back but she knew she would.

"Need me to do anything?" Alistair asked.

"Nope," Elissa smiled at him.

"I'm glad you can cook if it were up to me we'd be having charred rabbit," Alistair smiled back.

"Another reason I choose the bow instead of a sword, I can hunt," Elissa winked at him.

They sat in silence and when the rabbits were done Elissa and Alistair went about cutting the meat into chunks. They'd take some of it along to eat when they couldn't build a fire or hunt. Morrigan came back just in time and Elissa handed her a leaf full of rabbit. Morrigan took it without saying thank you and walked to her corner of the camp.

"Ungrateful wench," Alistair muttered.

"Aye," Elissa nodded. They ate quietly then put out the fire. They continued to walk towards Lothering. They came to the Imperial Highway and traveled on that the rest of the way.

Elissa saw in the distance about five men lounging around on abandoned wagons. She paused and looked at Alistair. "Great," he whispered.

They continued walking and the men stood up when they approached. "Greetings travelers," the leader said.

Elissa studied him. He was a shady sort, with scars across his face to prove it. He had greed in his eyes and weapons and men to back him up. That was a dangerous combination. She looked behind them and noticed the body of a man. Elissa wondered how long the man had been dead. She turned her gaze back to the leader.

"Uh these people don't look like refugees," a second man said. Elissa didn't look at him she kept her eyes on the leader.

"Highwaymen," Alistair whispered.

"They are fools to get in our way, I say we teach them a lesson," Morrigan tsked.

"Now is that anyway to greet someone? A simple ten silvers and you are free to move on," the leader smiled.

"So you're toll collectors then?" Elissa asked crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Indeed, for the upkeep of the Imperial Highway. It's a bit of a mess as you can see," he smiled.

Elissa looked around, "Perhaps you should charge more then."

"Oh you want to pay more do you? We'll gladly take donations," he smiled at Elissa and took a step forward. Lucky growled and the man looked down then took a step back.

"I'm just saying it's a small pittance for such a rough job," Elissa sighed.

"I don't know about you but that sounded like a threat," the leader laughed. The second man behind him agreed. "I don't know if you noticed miss but you are outnumbered."

Elissa looked at each of the bandits. She smirked, "It's hard to be out numbered by common thugs."

"Well that's just sad," the leader pulled his sword. "Kill the man and the dog subdue the women we'll have a bit of fun with them before we kill them."

Alistair was quick and had his weapons drawn and stepped in front of Elissa before they could attack. Elissa grabbed two throwing weapons from her belt and with a flick of her wrists threw them at two of the five men. They both went down. Morrigan took out a third man saying a spell underneath her breath as a bolt of lightning flung from her hand and into the man's chest. Alistair knocked down the leader and Lucky was mauling the fifth guy. Elissa winced watching Lucky latch onto his neck she did not envy that guy at all.

"I surrender!" the leader shouted.

"Surrender?" Alistair scoffed.

"You threatened to rape me and my friend," Elissa growled. "We're turning you in."

"There's no one here to turn me in to. Just the Templar's and they'll just execute me," the leader panicked.

"They'll do what they must," Alistair said.

"I'm not going without a fight," the man lunged for Elissa but Alistair's sword plunged into the man's stomach.

Elissa watched as the light faded from the man's eyes. She looked at Alistair and knew he didn't like taking a human's life. She had grown immune to it since Highever. She had a feeling it would be like this until the Blight ended. Bandits, thieves and even those who were desperate.

Elissa retrieved her blades and cleaned them off and walked down the ramp that led into the town. "Ah Lothering," Alistair sighed. "Pretty as a painting."

"Oh you've finally decided to rejoin us have you? Falling on your blade in grief was too much trouble I take it?" Morrigan scoffed.

"Is my being upset too hard for you to understand? Have you ever lost anyone important to you? Just what would you do if your mother died?" Alistair growled.

"Before or after I stopped laughing?" Morrigan asked.

"Right, very creepy. Forget I said anything," Alistair grumbled.

It was the first time Alistair made a cheerful comment she noticed. Morrigan must have noticed it as well. Anyone could see the grief written all over Alistair's face. It had been written on her face as well but she knew how to hide her feelings when she must. "Leave him alone Morrigan," Elissa sighed. She felt the headache coming back.

"How can I? He's right there, speaking, eyes wide like those of a brainless calf," Morrigan smirked.

Elissa felt like screaming. "Right, what's on your mind Alistair?"

"Oh this should be good," Morrigan crossed her arms.

Alistair glared at Morrigan then looked at Elissa. "I thought we should talk about what we plan on doing."

"I assume we start with the treaties and Eamon?" Elissa asked.

"I agree," Alistair said. "I think we should go to Eamon first."

Elissa felt panic, they'd find out who she was sooner or later. Going to Eamon was going to be like ripping her wounds open again. Anything that reminded her of her parents was going to hurt.

"Okay," Elissa nodded. "We'll do that. First we'll get supplies here see if we can find jobs to get money since I'm sure we're cut off from Grey Warden funds."

"Great," Morrigan mumbled.

"You can wait outside of town Morrigan," Elissa glared at the woman.

"No, I'll tag along. I like playing with fire underneath the stupid Templar's noses," Morrigan smiled at Alistair and started to walk into town.

Elissa and Alistair stayed where they were and watched her go. "Do we have to keep her with us?" Alistair asked.

"If she makes me mad anymore I'm kicking her ass back to the Wilds. But Flemeth is right we need help," Elissa sighed.

"All right," Alistair sighed as well. He went over to the side of the ramp and placed his hands on the ledge.

"Do you want to talk about Duncan?" Elissa asked. She hated seeing Alistair in pain and knew what he was going through.

Alistair shook his head and looked at her, "You don't have to do that. You didn't know him as well as I did."

"I just figured you needed someone to talk to," Elissa sighed and went over and stood by him. "And he was like a father to you."

"I just wish there was something I could have done," Alistair whispered. "I feel like I failed him. I know that may sound stupid but I wish I could have been there. To protect him, I don't know to have taken the blow that ended his life."  
>Elissa knew what he was saying. It was something she lived with daily since leaving her parents behind. "That doesn't sound stupid at all Alistair," Elissa whispered. "I know what you mean."<p>

"But then I'd be dead and that wouldn't make him any happier would it," Alistair sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked down at Elissa who was studying the stones. "Have you lost anyone close to you?"  
>Elissa sucked in a deep breath. "I've lost enough to know what you are going through," Elissa swallowed the lump in her throat.<p>

Alistair nodded, "What a wonderful pair we make don't you think? Two Grey Wardens who are lost in their grief."

Elissa laughed, "At least neither of us have anything to lose at this point."

"Very good point," Alistair smiled. "Thank you for listening to me. I should be handling this better. There's so much riding on us what with the Blight and everything."

Elissa turned towards Alistair and placed her hand on his. "Hey," Elissa smiled. "Don't beat yourself up. Duncan was family to you. Maker knows I've done nothing but mourn since I left Highever."

"Is that where you lost people close to you?" Alistair asked.

"Yes," Elissa nodded. "And at Ostagar."  
>"Who?" Alistair frowned. He didn't know she had anyone at Ostagar.<p>

"My brother," Elissa looked away. "He was out scouting."

"He could still be alive," Alistair looked around. "There's a lot of refugees here we can look."

Elissa sighed then nodded. She would look but she lost her ability to hope he was alive.

"What do you say we go get supplies and see if there's anything we can do to help these people?" Alistair asked.

"How long until the horde takes this place?" Elissa asked looking at Lothering. Tents were set up outside the wooden walls. She frowned wishing there was more that they could do.

"A couple of weeks I would say," Alistair sighed. "The horde is moving at a slow pace. Duncan thought it was because the archdemon is still gathering his army in the Deep Roads."

Elissa frowned, "Let's go we have work to do."


	16. Chapter 16

They found Morgan waiting for them leaning against a fence smiling at a Templar who was standing guard at the town entrance. "There you two are," Morgan sighed.

Lucky barked not liking to be forgotten. Morgan just glared at him then turned her nose up at him. Alistair patted the dog on the back. "It's okay boy I like you better."

Elissa shook her head, "So learn anything or did you just stand here to lure in your prey?"

"I found out people are saying the Grey Warden's killed the king," Morrigan smiled.

Elissa froze and looked at Alistair his face had gone pale. "We did what?" Elissa choked out.

"It appears the man who left your king to die is placing the blame on your order," Morrigan added. "Tis best not to linger here as he has placed a reward on any remaining Grey Warden's head."

"Well then I guess we won't be going around introducing ourselves as Grey Wardens," Elissa said.

"But we didn't do what he said," Alistair started to raise his voice.

Elissa put her hand on his arm as she saw some curious refugees listening in. "Alistair now is not the time to play whom did what. We know the truth. By the end of this Blight we will have justice for Duncan, for the rest of the Grey Wardens, and for King Cailan."

Elissa didn't add her parents to the list but now it fell to her to see Howe paid. She wouldn't rest until he was dead.

"You're right," Alistair sighed and noticed people staring at them whispering amongst themselves. "We weren't that loud were we?"

Elissa shook her head. "No," she frowned and didn't know why everyone was staring and whispering. She did notice that the pointing was mostly directed at her. She felt a shiver go up her spine. Was Howe looking for her? She didn't think they were pointing her out because she was pretty.

"Let's go to the inn shall we?" Morrigan said.

"Aye," Elissa said. She pulled the hood of her cloak over her head. Alistair looked at her.

"They aren't pointing at you," Elissa whispered.

He saw the pointing then and nodded. "Well they'll have to go through me to get to you."  
>Elissa's cheeks flamed at that comment. She didn't want to admit that it had an affect on her but his words did. At one time she would have said something back but now was not the time for flirting. She moved on past the Templar who was still watching Morrigan. Elissa thought it was more of a lustful look over a 'she's a mage!' look.<p>

She led the way past the refugees looking lost. Some people were yelling at each other. "It's just a guess but I'm going to bet the people are aware of the approaching darkspawn horde," Alistair said.

Elissa moved towards the inn. There they could find supplies but she didn't know what they would find in this town. Elissa saw children crying even a little redheaded boy huddled by the bridge shivering and wiping the tears from his face. She bit her lip as they passed him. He reminded her of Oren. She could even see a little of Roland in the boy especially the red-hair. She took a deep breath and swallowed the forming lump.

In the town square there was a triage center where Elissa saw an older woman helping wounded and sick. She'd stop by there before they left to offer help.

Outside the inn Elissa looked at Lucky. "Stay."

He tilted his and whined.

"No stay Lucky, you know how some people get when we bring in a dog," Elissa smiled down at him.

He let out a bark then a growl. Elissa laughed and went down on one knee in front of him. "I'll bring you a treat if I can."

He whined again but lay down by the door with a huff. Elissa patted him on the head then turned going inside while Alistair held the door open for her. "You have good manners."

"What can I say growing up in the Chantry made me chivalrous," Alistair smiled.

Elissa smiled back then looked around inside as the door closed behind them. She felt Alistair step closer to her. It was crowded and there were bards trying to keep the mood above desperation. "Like that will work," Elissa found herself saying out loud.

"What?" Alistair asked beside her.

"Oh nothing," Elissa said she didn't like the negative attitude she was adapting.

She went to move to the bar where a man stood watching them from behind with worry in his eyes. She removed her hood and smiled at him. But a clang of chairs stopped her from moving forward. She turned around and froze. Five men stood up all in uniform. They were royal military armor.

"Uh oh Loghain's men," Alistair whispered. "This can't be good."

The leader of the group staggered towards them. Elissa could smell the alcohol in the air. "You two attract more trouble than I would have thought," Morrigan said. "This will be interesting."

Elissa kept her eyes on the men. She felt unarmed with only one dagger and a bow as her weapons. She looked at Alistair and saw his jaw clenched. "No matter what do not kill them."

"I won't unless they try to kill us," Alistair grumbled.

"Even then Alistair, no," Elissa whispered.

"Well look what we have here," the man said.

Elissa studied him, he reminded her of many of the men in Highever's troops. He had captain marks on his uniform. She recognized the look in their eyes. They believed what they were doing. Believers were dangerous especially if they were given orders. And even worse when they were drunk.

"Weren't we asking about a woman by this exact description and everyone said they hadn't seen her?" a younger soldier asked.

"It seems we were lied to," the captain of the men said.

"I'm afraid no one lied to you," Elissa said her voice stronger than she thought it would be. She even found herself smiling. "I just got into Lothering the good people here didn't lie to you."

Alistair looked at her with wide eyes. "What are you doing?" he whispered.

She shook her head at him. "Now what can I do for you gentlemen?" Elissa asked.

"Don't skirt around it we both know who you are! You are a Grey Warden!" the drunken captain roared and was followed by cheers of his men. "We're here to take you traitors in."

"Now gentlemen, there's no need for trouble" a foreign voice said. Elissa looked over and saw a woman in a priest robe walking towards them. She had an Orlesian accent. Her hair was short and red with a braid down the side. She looked peaceful but Elissa knew looks were deceiving. "Surely these poor folk are simply refugees."

"They are no refugees!" the captain yelled. "They are traitors. And if you protect them you will share their fate."

"Please miss stand back," Elissa said to the priest. "I can handle them."

"You may be able to but these men will follow their master's orders blind!" the priest said.

"I am not the blind one here!" the captain slurred.

"How exactly am I a traitor?" Elissa asked. She had given up her life for Ferelden. She was just a little bit miffed that she was being accused as such.

"Don't play coy with me," the captain grabbed Elissa's arm and dragged her toward him.

Alistair grabbed Elissa's other arm but she shook her head at him. He let out a growl upset she kept shutting him out.

"I fought at Ostagar, I know what you did," the captain said.

"Oh and what did I do?" Elissa asked. She knew she was provoking him but he was on her last nerve and right now she was really itching for a fight. That shocked her because she was not a violent person.

"The Grey Warden's killed the king!" the man said. "We're taking you to Loghain."

"I don't think so," Elissa smiled and brought her knee up. The captain doubled over then it was crazy as his men charged her. She grabbed a bottle off the counter and hit another soldier over the head. Alistair knocked one unconscious with his shield and Morrigan put one to sleep with a spell without leaving her relaxed position leaning against the bar. The last one the priest knocked out.

The captain looked up at her with fear and pain in his eyes, "I surrender."

"Good, now we can all stop fighting," the priest smiled.

Elissa bent down and looked at the captain in the eyes. "I want you to take a message to Loghain for me."

"What?" Alistair asked. Was she crazy he'd just send more men after them when these one's failed.

Elissa smiled at him, "It's all right."

"Anything," the captain pleaded.

"You tell him we know the truth and I will not rest until he's paid for what he has done," Elissa reached into her belt and grabbed one of her throwing knives that had Highever's emblem on it. "Show him this. He'll know what it means. Oh and if he happens to have Arl Howe anywhere near him tell him that message falls to him as well."

Elissa knew she was probably making it worse but she had things to do before she could face them. And if she knew Howe he'd align himself with Loghain especially when he learned a Cousland still lived.

"I'll do it right away," the captain took the knife from her and roused his men. They took off. Elissa turned to the man behind the bar and tossed him a sovereign for the mess. He nodded his thanks at her then handed her a glass filled with amber. She raised her eyebrow at him.

"You did us a favor clearing that lot out," he nodded.

She took the drink and downed it. It was whiskey, which helped calm her nerves. At the same time making her cough at the burn in her throat. "Elissa what was that about?" Alistair whispered grabbing her arm and turning her towards him.

She looked up at him wondering if she should just blurt out whom she was but couldn't find the words. He was searching her eyes and her face for some clue as to what was going on. The priest saved her by clearing her throat. Alistair and Elissa turned to the little red head. "Thank you for offering them mercy."

Elissa nodded, "And you are?"

"I am Leliana until recently I was a lay sister in the chantry here," she smiled.

Morrigan let out an unlady like snort. Elissa ignored her. "I am Elissa, this is Alistair and that is Morrigan."

"A pleasure," Leliana smiled. "Those men said you were Grey Wardens no? You will be battling the darkspawn that is what Grey Wardens do is it not?"

Elissa looked at Alistair who muttered, "So much for keeping a low profile."

"I am coming with you," Leliana smiled.

Elissa looked back at her, "Um, what?"

"I wish to come with you, you will need all the help you can get," she smiled.

"So are you going to recite the Chant of Light at the darkspawn? I don't see how a lay sister could be helpful with what we have to do," Elissa frowned.

Alistair started laughing, "I wonder if that would work. The Chant of Light against evil. Maker knows it has put me to sleep plenty of times."

Leliana glared at Elissa and Alistair. "I can fight! I can do more than fight, I wasn't always a lay sister you know."

"Why exactly do you want to come with us?" Elissa asked.

"The Maker told me to," Leliana smiled.

"Right," Elissa nodded slowly. Everyone who believed in the Maker knew that he talked to no one but Andraste and when she was murdered he left mankind. "This is where we back up."

"I know that makes me sound crazy! But I'm not! It's true. I had a dream! A vision!" Leliana urged. Elissa looked around and saw the people turning away as if not wanting to be apart of the crazy lay sister's vision.

"More crazy? I thought we were all full up?" Alistair whispered. Elissa softly kicked Alistair's shin. "What?"

"I don't know Leliana," Elissa said. "If you want to help the people here look like they need more help than us."

"Then what? What happens when the horde comes? It will follow anywhere we flee until all we know is destroyed," Leliana said.

Elissa felt uncomfortable. They needed help that was sure. "She seems wholehearted. And she did knock out a soldier without breaking a sweat. I vote she comes," Alistair urged.

Elissa looked up at him and frowned but Alistair was staring at the priest. She felt jealousy stirring in her and clamped down on it. "Alistair she's one archdemon short of a Blight," Elissa whispered.

"Yeah but she seems more oh pretty colors! Than muhaha I am Princess Stabbity! Stab kill kill!" Alistair whispered back.

Elissa chuckled and shook her head, "All right Leliana if you want to come with be my guest we do need help."

"Oh thank you! You will not regret this!" Leliana clapped her hands together.

"Perhaps your skulls were cracked worse than Mother thought," Morrigan sighed.

Elissa and Alistair ignored her. "I will go get my things and meet you out front?" Leliana said. She dashed off to some part of the inn.

Elissa went over to another man who introduced himself as Barlin and asked about jobs. He informed her to check the chanter's board and then he slyly asked if she knew about poisons.

She traded some poisons for some of his supplies that he showed her in the storeroom of the inn. She found another dagger that she bought to replace the one that broke. She purchased some bedrolls and two tents the innkeeper was hesitant to part with but she added two sovereigns to the deal. She bought a piece of pork for Lucky then left before she wore out her welcome.

When she hauled out the stash she had come away with Alistair raised an eyebrow. He was outside by Lucky leaning against the building. "Did you buy them out?"

Elissa looked up at him, "We need tents and things. I don't relish sleeping under the stars on the hard ground."

"Neither do I," Alistair stepped towards her and smiled. "Thanks Elissa I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

Elissa looked away at his words, "You'd be doing what I am doing now. Be useful and carry some of this."

Lucky barked at her.

"I didn't forget about you boy," Elissa unwrapped the pork and tossed it to him.

Alistair laughed and shook his head. Elissa had gone from mess with armed soldiers to provider in less than ten minutes. She had scared him when she told the soldier to deliver the message. Her voice had gone cold and he heard the promise in them even if the captain who was delivering her message had not.

She had closed herself off to him at the moment so now was not the time to ask her what the message and the knife had meant. He did as she asked and helped carry the gear she had obtained and they went and found Morrigan and Leliana. Any other time Alistair would have laughed he went from being around mostly men in the Wardens to a little group of women with him and the dog being the only males.

He looked around Lothering and sighed. He knew Elissa wasn't the only one keeping a secret. He was keeping something from her. He studied her as she split the supplies up for each of them to carry. She looked as if she was always trying to find something to keep her busy and he didn't want to burden her with his problems. It would wait until Redcliffe at least. There he would have to tell her. He wasn't looking forward to that.


	17. Chapter 17

Elissa leaned against the small shed in the corner of Lothering. She slid down the wooden wall until she sat with her knees drawn up to her chest. She was exhausted. They spent the day running around helping the people left in Lothering. "Selfish bastard, coward, fat lazy ass" Elissa muttered.

"That was a long stream of cussing," Leliana said.

"I'm swearing at their bann! Had that bastard been more responsible for his people I wouldn't feel like I was leaving these people to die tomorrow," Elissa said. "I swear when I see their bann I will kick him so hard he'll wish he was facing the darkspawn instead of me."

Alistair walked up hearing that last part. "I know I'd rather face the darkspawn," he sighed

"Of course you would," Leliana said cheerfully. "Our Elissa is a force to be reckoned with."

Elissa smiled slightly the sister was slowly growing on her. Morrigan didn't like the righteous little sister as she put it though. Elissa was beginning to wonder if there was a person Morrigan did like. She noticed Morrigan watching the Qunari in the cage from her perch up by the mill. There was enough light left in the day to see the expression on the witch's face.

"What is the story behind the Qunari?" Elissa asked as she stroked Lucky's belly.

Alistair was making a fire and looked up and studied Elissa trying to see what she was thinking.

"He murdered an entire family," Leliana said quietly. "The Revered Mother said even the children."

"Why?" Elissa asked staring at Leliana her mouth hanging open in shock.

Leliana shrugged, "He will not say. He did not fight when he was taken into custody and he accepts his punishment. But that is no way to die. He has not had water or food for who knows how long. He will starve or be left for the darkspawn. No one deserves that not even a murderer."

The air was thick as the three sat silent thinking about that. While Elissa wondered why the Qunari murdered a family, Leliana thought about second chances.

"You know Qunari are said to be renowned warriors," Alistair cleared his throat.

Elissa looked at him, "You want us to take him with us?"  
>"I've seen you pick a lock or two tomorrow before we leave for Redcliffe we can take him with," Alistair shrugged. "And he could be useful."<p>

"And if he tries to kill us?" Elissa asked.

"We'll make sure he doesn't get the chance," Alistair looked at her. "But I believe he will help us."

"Talk to him did you?" Elissa studied Alistair.

"After talking to Ser Donall about Eamon I needed air and found myself walking by his cage. I asked him why he was there and he told me," Alistair shrugged.

Elissa winced Alistair was having a rough time. From Duncan dying to learning Eamon was sick. She wanted to tell him it would be all right but that thought always brought a sour taste to her mouth. She didn't like hearing Eamon was sick and fell ill before Cailan died. She felt goose bumps raise on her arms and had a feeling everything was connected. Loghain had turned on his men, on his king. Her father the only other teryn in Ferelden had been murdered and now Eamon had fallen sick. It felt too planned. Eamon and Bryce had both been advisers to Cailan and now they were indisposed or dead. Bryce had been Cailan's eyes and ears in Orlais on numerous occasions. And it was no secret Eamon married an Orlesian. Elissa had a feeling all of this was because of one man's fear. She wasn't ready to voice her concerns to Alistair though. He had enough on his plate. She hated politics and avoided it at all costs, but Elissa knew how to play the game. Her father had taught her well and if she had been in Loghain's place getting rid of the major players would be the first item on her to do list.

"We'll talk to him before we leave if he wants to join us I'll break him out of the cage," Elissa sighed.  
>"Good, I won't lie being the only guy was getting tiresome," Alistair sighed.<p>

Lucky let out a growl.

"Okay, okay I take it back two of us guys against three women," Alistair smiled at Lucky and rubbed the dogs head.

"So Elissa where do you come from?" Leliana studied the little blonde Warden.

"Highever," Elissa crossed her arms trying to close herself off from the prying eyes of her companions.

"I have heard what happened up there," Leliana sounded mournful. "A whole family murdered in the castle along with servants and guests."

"Aye," Elissa shivered. "Good people died at the hands of that bastard."

"You knew many of them?" Leliana asked.

"Aye I did," Elissa stood up and walked away from the fire away from Alistair and Leliana.

Alistair watched her walk into the darkness. "She has so much sorrow around her," Leliana sighed.

"She won't talk about it," Alistair whispered.

"She will in time," Leliana said. "She does not know who to trust."

"She can trust me," Alistair growled not realizing why the thought of Elissa not trusting him hurt more than he thought it should.

"You have your own burdens at the moment Alistair," Leliana said quietly. "She has shielded the worst of what she has seen here from you today while you mourn. I watched her with a little boy outside of the chantry."

"What did she do?" Alistair asked looking at Leliana from across the fire.

"The little boy has lost his parents," Leliana looked into the fire. "She took him to get food then took the boy to the chantry. She was crying when she left him there but went north of the village and found the mother's body. I trailed her to make sure she stayed out of trouble."

"I should have been with her," Alistair whispered.

"It was something she had to do," Leliana said. "She told the boy he reminded her of her nephew. A nephew only five years old who went to the Maker's side is what she told the little boy."

"Oh Maker," Alistair whispered knowing full well that the man who killed everyone in Highever was responsible for that little boy's death. He looked into the shadows where Elissa had disappeared.

"I know you want to go to her Alistair," Leliana smiled sadly. "But don't, give her time."

"How do you know that?" Alistair looked at her with shock.

"Your interest and concern for her is written all over your face," Leliana giggled. "Am I that obvious?" Alistair asked.

"No," Leliana smiled. "It is only something a person who has studied people can pick up."

"What exactly did you do before you were a lay sister?" Alistair raised an eyebrow studying her.

"We all have secrets we keep Alistair," Leliana yawned. "And that one is mine to share for a later date."

Elissa kept walking and realized she was walking up the hill to the mill where Morrigan had made her camp.

"Come to check on me have you?" Morrigan asked in a boring tone.

"Not really," Elissa shrugged. "Just needed to get away."

"Ah the little lay sister and Alistair getting on your nerves are they? Tis about time you saw some sense," Morrigan chuckled.

Elissa studied the woman and frowned, "Did you never leave the Wilds?"

"On occasion I did. I came here when I could. I traded with the people and studied them," Morrigan admitted. "Although I always went back."

"Was there no one in the Wilds you talked to besides your mother?" Elissa asked sitting down against the mill's door.

"I needed no one else to talk to," Morrigan scoffed. "If I wanted company I would change into a wolf and run with them."

Elissa frowned staring at the fires below them in Lothering that refugees were gathered around. "Sounds lonely to me," Elissa whispered.

"It was not your life," Morrigan snapped.

"I meant no offense Morrigan," Elissa sighed weary of the bickering and the insults. "Can we at least try to get along while we work together?"

Elissa felt Morrigan's eyes upon her studying her and reading her, "I suppose there would be no harm in that."

"Would it be too much to ask if I asked you to lay off Alistair at least for a little while?" Elissa sighed heavily.

"I cannot promise that," Morrigan laughed. "The fool is an easy target."

"He's the only other Warden I know Morrigan," Elissa sighed. "I need him. I also sadly need help so that means I need you as well. We need to at least try to get a long. I don't mean never to pick on him but just for now. He is mourning the loss of a man who was like his father and from what I gather he has not known death before now."

"You haven't known death until very recently have you Lady Elissa Cousland?" Morrigan snapped.

Elissa gasped and looked over at Morrigan who looked smug. "How did you know?"

"I saw the crest upon your weapons and I heard the rumors in town about Teryn Cousland and his family. It appears that they believe the whole family dead," Morrigan looked up at Elissa.

Elissa frowned she didn't want to know what other rumors Howe had spread about the sudden demise of her whole family. She looked down at her hands and didn't know how she felt that someone finally knew whom she was.

"Do not worry I have nothing to gain by telling the fool who you are. Although why you insist on keeping who you really are a secret is beyond me," Morrigan sighed. "You are nobility and that could open doors for more help against your enemy."

"If you heard rumors about my family then you surely know I cannot reveal who I am," Elissa sighed. "Howe will send people after me."

"I think you can handle a few pesky assassins. Anyway you sent the message to him, you will whether you like it or not have to deal with assassins," Morrigan added another log to her fire. "Now are you going to stay here all night?"

Elissa knew the hint Morrigan was getting at. Morrigan didn't want company anymore. Elissa stood up and looked down at Lothering. "I don't know exactly what you get out of helping us Morrigan," Elissa whispered. "I know it's more than the threat of the Blight. But for now thank you for coming with us."

Morrigan sat shocked as she watched Elissa disappear back into the darkness. She didn't know what to make of the woman.

"I am not here to amuse you human," the giant Qunari growled at Elissa.

"I am not asking to be amused," Elissa smiled at the giant. She had told Alistair she would talk to the giant before they left and here she was.

"Then why are you here?" he growled at her.

Elissa studied the giant man, his purple eyes were unnerving and everything about him was huge.

"I would like to know more about you. Why are you are?" Elissa asked mostly to see if he would tell her.

"My name is Sten of the Beresaad of the Qunari people. I am here because I killed a family of farmers including their children," Sten said.

"I am Elissa it is nice to meet you," Elissa skipped over the murder part.

"Manners? That is unexpected," Sten looked taken back.

"Sten, I find myself in need of help to defend the land against the Blight," Elissa said.

"You are a Grey Warden then?" Sten's eyebrow rose.

"Yes," Elissa nodded.

"Surprising," Sten almost smiled. "What do you need of me?"

"If you could seek atonement for the murders you committed by helping me would you do it?" Elissa asked.

"Help fight the Blight?" Sten looked thoughtful.  
>Elissa nodded, "Yes."<p>

"I suppose my fate with you would be the same as in the cage so I will help," Sten nodded.

Elissa moved forward taking her lock picking tools out of her belt and picked the lock. She let the man out and stepped back. She felt a moment of panic when the man stepped forward. He was huge and she was very small. "Thank you Sten," Elissa forced herself to smile.

Alistair walked up and handed Sten a great sword and some armor. "Here you go," Alistair smiled at Sten. "We met yesterday."

"You are a Grey Warden too?" Sten asked.

Alistair nodded with a smile on his face.

"Surprising," Sten judged Alistair in one look then he started to put the armor on. It was a little tight Elissa noticed but they could do nothing about it now. They'd fix it in Redcliffe.

Alistair's smile was gone and it was replaced with a scowl. Elissa smiled at him, "It's okay Alistair I think you're a great Grey Warden."

"Thanks Elissa," Alistair's smile returned and Elissa realized she liked it a little too much.

She looked at her makeshift army of five and a dog. She shook her head and hoped it was just a start because there was no way in all of Thedas they'd win with this group they barely tolerated each other. Elissa felt the weight on her shoulders grow heavier as they left Lothering skirting around a group of refugees who were waiting for them to pass by to collect the bounty on their heads. Alistair and Elissa wanted to avoid as much bloodshed as possible and killing a bunch of refugees would have soured their moods even more.


	18. Chapter 18

_Sorry for late chapter. Been working on an original fiction piece._

* * *

><p>Three days they had been on the road after leaving Lothering. Another two days and they would be arriving at Redcliffe. Elissa had kept to herself during the trip. She heard the bantering of Morrigan and Alistair, and Leliana and Morrigan. The only person Morrigan didn't seem to banter or provoke was Sten. Alistair and Leliana got along well enough except Alistair was more of a doesn't take things seriously and Leliana was more a religious sort. Elissa could have laughed at how different they were but had the Chantry in common.<p>

Elissa mainly didn't talk to anyone. Except she was growing more and more agitated as the days went on. She could sense something in Alistair. Something dark and it scared her. Each hour she could feel it grow stronger and not only that she could feel the intent of him. When he was in a good mood it vibrated in the darkness. When it felt like someone could be devoured by the darkness Alistair's light shined through. Was this the corruption she found herself wondering?

The night before they were to reach Redcliffe Alistair took first watch. Elissa shrugged and slept outside so she wouldn't wake Leliana when she took second watch. She drifted off to sleep like she did the other nights.

She dreamt about her family. Her family was gathered in the great hall. Oren looked up from his toy and Elissa felt herself draw back. His throat was split open. Elissa looked at her brother and he had a spear through his middle. Each family member she looked at was the walking dead. Then little Oren opened his mouth and blackness came out of it. It surrounded Elissa and overtook her. She felt a scream forming in her throat as the darkness filled up her senses. Then the darkness changed. Elissa felt the corruption. It was angry and terrifying and a hundred times more amplified than what she felt with Alistair.

Out of the dark came a huge dragon. Elissa fell backwards letting out a scream. The dragon looked directly at her and raised its head as if judging her. She felt that it was calling to her. Beckoning her to come to him to join him in the dark. Elissa reached out a hand the offer was tempting. Darkness sounded tempting. Then the dragon roared and breathed out fire above her and Elissa reached for her bow and found it wasn't there. She turned and ran through the dark away from the dragon and his promises.

"Elissa," Alistair shook her shoulder. He watched her struggle in sleep with the nightmare. He knew those nightmares well and had kept a close watch on her the past couple of days because he knew they would come to her soon.

Elissa's eyes snapped open and she reached for her dagger. Alistair moved faster than Elissa. He pinned her arms to the ground and lay on top of her as she bucked against him trying to get free. "Elissa stop it's me!"

Elissa heard the voice but felt the corruption. Her fear increased and she fought against the hold. Then she heard the voice whisper again to her. "It's me, you're safe."

Elissa's eyes focused and she looked up into Alistair's worried face. She saw the fear in his eyes. "Alistair?"

"It's me," he nodded. "You had a nightmare. One of the perks of being a Grey Warden."

"I felt him," Elissa's eyes looked away from Alistair staring up into the dark sky. "I felt him beckon me. He was calling me to him."

"A dragon?" Alistair asked.

"Yes," Elissa nodded licking her lips. Alistair eased up off of her and sat beside her pulling his knees up and resting his forearms against them.

"That would be the archdemon," Alistair stared into the fire.

Elissa sat up beside him and studied his profile. "Do these dreams happen a lot?"

"You get used to them," Alistair nodded. "After a while some can block them out. Others aren't so lucky."

"Are they bad for you?" Elissa asked. She reached for his hand not knowing why just knowing she needed the warmth of another person.

Alistair looked down at their joined hands. He felt her shivering and wished he could offer more than just his useless words.

"They aren't pleasant but they are supposed to be worse for people who join during a Blight," he looked at Elissa. Dark shadows were formed in her blue eyes the echoes of her nightmare still haunting her.

"This is horrible," Elissa whispered. "I can't see that every night I'll go mad."

"I'll be here Elissa," Alistair nudged her.

She took a shaky breath. "I can feel the corruption in you now Alistair. It scares me."

"It scares me too," Alistair admitted.

Elissa sat staring into the fire drawing from Alistair's warmth. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Besides the nightmares and sensing corruption you mean?" Alistair asked.

"Yes," Elissa looked at him studying him again.

"Well you don't ever have to worry about dying from old age," Alistair breathed out. Not sure what the gentlest way to break that news to her was and he was probably going to mess it up.

"What do you mean?" Elissa frowned.

"The corruption," Alistair looked at her staring into her eyes. "It's a death sentence. We get maybe thirty years before we go insane."

"What makes us go insane?" Elissa asked.

"Those dreams and the way we hear darkspawn it increases as the corruption ages in us. It gets harder for us to resist. So we have the Calling," Alistair said looking back at the fire.

"The Calling?" Elissa shook her head not really understanding any of what was said.

"It's when we go to the Deep Roads and die in battle rather than the alternative with the taint and how it effects our bodies," Alistair explained. "It's tradition really."

"So I'm going to die from this?" Elissa asked.

Alistair looked back at Elissa. "We're all going to die. When Duncan told me I was angry. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'It's not how you die that's important. It's how you live.'"

Elissa sat there numb from the knowledge. This is why she avoided talking to Alistair about the taint. She dreaded more bad news and now she had it.

Alistair sensed the trepidation that filled Elissa through their bond. He could have laughed at calling it that. But better or worse they were tied to each other through the taint. "And you wondered why we keep the Joining a secret from new recruits," he shrugged.

Elissa's grip tightened on Alistair and she felt the tears forming. She thought she was done crying. She knew her old life was over. But now she wondered what kind of life she would have to lead. Was she to be some emotionless woman who killed and killed and forgot who she was? She looked at Alistair he was the brightest light she had seen since getting dragged into the mess. If the taint, the darkness wasn't ruining him she couldn't let it ruin her.

"Don't let me turn into someone I hate," she whispered.

"What?" Alistair frowned.

"Don't let all of this weigh me down. Don't let it turn me into someone bitter and hateful," she shook her head. "You make me laugh Alistair make sure I don't ever lose that ability."

He pulled her into his arms and cradled her against him. He knew this life would be hard for her but hearing her ask him this. He could only do one thing, "I promise as long as we're together in this I won't let you forget how to laugh. Now get some sleep."

"It's my watch you get to sleep," Elissa pulled back. "I can't sleep after that…nightmare."

So Alistair left her reluctantly and climbed into his bedroll going to sleep with the thought of the tears in her eyes and the promise he made to her echoing in his head.

They reached outskirts of Redcliffe before noon. Alistair had been casting looks back at Elissa all morning and she noticed it looked like he had something to tell her. On the hill that overlooked the town of Redcliffe he pulled her away from the group telling them they'd catch up.

"I wanted to talk to you before we reached Redcliffe. There's something I need to tell you I just didn't know how to before now," Alistair sighed and looked everywhere but at Elissa.

"I'm not going to like this am I?" Elissa asked warily.

"I don't know I doubt it. I've ever liked it that's for sure. Did I ever mention how I know Arl Eamon?" Alistair finally looked at Elissa.

She didn't like the serious look in his eyes. "He's not your father is he?"

"No! No…but he raised me because King Maric is my father," Alistair said. "That would make Cailan well my half-brother."

Elissa stared at him in shock. Alistair was royalty. Oh Maker! His secret blew hers out of the water.

"I'm a bastard," Alistair added. "My mother was a serving girl at Redcliffe Castle she died when I was born. Arl Eamon took me in and raised me before I was sent to the chantry."

"Whoa," Elissa said. It wasn't so eloquent of her but it was all that she could force past her lips. Bastards weren't uncommon but a royal bastard when everyone thought Cailan was the last of the Theirins was huge.

"Can you say something else besides whoa?" he asked. "You're making me nervous here looking like that."

"So you're not only a bastard…you're a royal bastard?" Elissa managed to squeak out.

"Yes indeed I am, ha I am going to have to steal that line," Alistair managed a nervous laugh.

"Doesn't that make you the heir to the throne?" Elissa asked.

"Maker's breath I hope not! I don't think so. You don't think so do you? I'm a bastard and nobody even knows about me," Alistair shook his head wanting to deny it as long as possible.

Elissa closed her eyes sadly she did think so. She looked up at him. "I…"

"I would have told you, but it never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient a possible threat to Cailan's rule and so they kept me secret. I've never talked about it to anyone. Everyone who knew either resented me or coddled me. Even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it. I didn't want you to know as long as possible." Alistair studied Elissa. "I'm sorry."

Elissa couldn't really be mad at Alistair since she too was keeping a secret about whom she was. In fact she should tell him. She even went to open her mouth to tell him but all that came out was, "I think I understand."

'Oh good! It's not like I got special treatment for it anyhow. Anyway when Arl Eamon got married the new arlessa resented the rumors that pegged me as the arl's bastard. She made sure that the castle wasn't a home to me at that point. She despised me. So off I went to the nearest monastery at age ten," Alistair explained.

"What an awful thing to do to a child," Elissa whispered. She couldn't imagine doing that even if she married someone who had a bastard.

"Maybe, she felt threatened by my presence I can see that now," Alistair nodded. "I wasn't looking for her to be my new mother. When I was told I was being sent away I shattered the only thing that I had that belonged to my mother. It was an amulet with Andraste's holy symbol on it. I tore it off and threw it at the wall and it shattered. It was a stupid stupid thing to do. Arl Eamon came to check on me a few times but he stopped coming after a while I was stubborn and hated it there. Eventually he stopped making an effort."

"You were young Alistair," Elissa put her hand on his arm. "We all do stupid things when we're young."

"And raised by dogs! Or I might as well have been with how I acted," Alistair laughed. "Anyway I have no hopes of being the next king. If there's an heir of the throne to be had it is Arl Eamon. He's well loved by the people even if he is not of royal blood."

Elissa shook her head. The people would not accept that when a descendant of Calenhad still lived. She saw the hope and fear in Alistair's eyes and decided now was not the time to tell him.

"Anyway can we just go along now and I'll just pretend that you think I'm some nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens?" Alistair asked searching for Elissa's eyes for an answer.

Elissa tilted her head and smirked. "Well then what does that make me?"

"The reason I said I was lucky?" Alistair shrugged and turned and walked away. Elissa stared after him feeling the tug of her heart again. She couldn't shake the growing feelings she was having towards Alistair, her friend Alistair who happened to be a Theirin. She felt like screaming or laughing. She was a Cousland in any other circumstance if he had been raised at court she could have met him. She could have…no she was not going to go down that route. She sighed and walked after him towards a town that seemed too quiet.

They met back up with Morrigan, Leliana, Sten and Lucky all of them looking at the two with curiosity. But only Morrigan voiced her questions to which Alistair gave them the short version of him being a king's bastard. They continued walking down the path towards Redcliffe.

They met a villager on the bridge heading down into the village or across to the castle. "I thought I saw traveler's on the road but I could scarcely believe it! Have you come to help us then?"

"What do you mean help? Is there a problem?" Elissa asked grabbing her bow.

"You mean you haven't heard?" the man asked. "Does no one know what's happening?"

"All we heard was Arl Eamon was sick," Elissa said.

"He could be dead for all we know! No one has heard from the castle in days! We're under attack. Monsters have been coming out of the castle every night and attack us until dawn. Everyone has been fighting and dying!" the man shouted. Elissa heard the terror in his words.

"Apparently everyone agrees the Blight is the perfect time for everyone to start killing each other," Morrigan sighed.

"With no army to defend us, no arl, and no king to send us help so many are dead. Those left are terrified they are next," the man said.

"Hold on what is this evil that's attacking you?" Alistair asked.

"I...I don't rightly know. I'm sorry nobody does. I should take you to Bann Teagan. He's all that's holding us together," the man said.

"Bann Teagan? Arl Eamon's brother he's here?" Alistair asked.

Elissa felt the blood drain from her face. Teagan knew her. She wouldn't be able to hide who she was for much longer and suddenly she wished she had told Alistair. He told her his secret and she was keeping one from him.

"Yes, its not far if you'll come with me," the man said turning leading the way.

Elissa waited until she was the last one standing on the bridge with Lucky. He looked up at her and whined. She took a deep breath. Seeing Teagan was going to be hard. She patted Lucky on the head and forced herself to walk after the others. It seemed she had to face her past and save a village and castle at the same time.


	19. Chapter 19

Elissa studied the villagers who watched her group follow the man who introduced himself as Thomas. They had fear in their eyes and many were wounded. Was this what her own people went through the night Howe attacked them? She clamped down on that feeling, knowing wherever she went the people of Ferelden would always have two faces, their own, and those of her people she couldn't help.

The doors of the chantry were wide open and many villagers milled about in and out. She could smell blood and the smell of a battleground. There was also something else in the air that was rank and dead.

"Ugh the smell," Leliana whispered.

Morrigan whispered under her breath and Elissa looked at her. "Magic," she said so that only Elissa could hear her.

Elissa nodded knowing this was not the work of men and she sensed no darkspawn taint besides her own and Alistair's. She looked up at the castle that loomed above them. It was too quiet. The magic was coming from there. She had no doubt about it.

The villagers had set up an infirmary in the front of the chantry. Walking by them Elissa said a prayer to the maker. Whatever evil haunted this village they had to stop it. The haunted looks of the villagers grabbed her heart and clenched it like a vise.

In the chantry in front of the statue of Andraste stood Bann Teagan Guerrin. He was looking down at lists and maps on a table that had been placed there just for him to plan the attack. Elissa found herself at the back of her group and looking everywhere but at Teagan. She didn't want to remember her life before even though it was just weeks ago.

"Thomas?" Teagan addressed the villager as if he didn't know the man's name. "Who do you have with you, they are obviously not simple travelers?"

Morrigan snorted and Sten crossed his arms. They obviously didn't like the thought of stopping at the village. They clearly wanted to go find the darkspawn and get it over with. No matter how much Elissa explained they needed an army to face the mass of darkspawn no one really understood it. But that was darkspawn for you. No one knew anything about the beasts and no one believed this was a true Blight except for her small group.

Alistair smiled at seeing Teagan and remembered his childhood. The man had always been kind to him. Elissa hid slightly behind Sten. She felt like a coward. Seeing Teagan brought back time she spent in Denerim. Wearing dressings, attending balls, and shopping. When she thought about it like that she sounded like a spoiled princess. Now she shot arrows at living targets, and cleaned off blood from her leather armor.

"No my lord, they just arrived and I thought you'd want to see them," Thomas said.

"Well done Thomas," Teagan smiled at the man. "Greetings friends, my name is Teagan, Bann of Rainesfere, brother to the arl."

Alistair stepped forward, "I remember you Bann Teagan but the last time we met I was younger and covered in mud." 

Teagan narrowed his eyes studying Alistair. "Covered in mud?" His eyes searched Alistair's face and then lit up with recognition. "Alistair? It is you! You're alive! This is wonderful news."

"Still alive yes," Alistair tittered. "Although I'm just as surprised at that as you are, believe me."

Elissa had to nod at that both her and Alistair seemed to be walking the line of life and death and missing the exit points to a journey to the other side.

"Indeed, Loghain would have us believe that all Grey Warden's died along with my nephew amongst other things," Teagan growled.

Elissa couldn't keep quiet, "What has Loghain been saying?" She knew that Teagan would have been called to Denerim. Loghain would naturally call a landsmeet because Ferelden was now a country without a king.

"That he pulled out his own men in order to save them. That Cailan risked the entire nation's safety in the name of glory. Loghain calls all Grey Warden's traitors, murderer's of the king. I don't believe it. It's the act of a desperate man!" Teagan pounded a fist into the table. He hadn't looked at who asked the question his own anger got the better of him.

Elissa waited for him to look up at her. When he did his eyes widened in shock. "Elissa?"

She felt all eyes turn to her. She resisted the urge to run for as long as she could. Now she had to face who she was and who she had become. She smiled and nodded, "Hello Teagan."

"Maker's breath," Teagan stepped away from the table. "We heard you were dead."

"No, it seems people who would like to see me dead will keep being disappointed for the time being," Elissa shook her head. For the first time in a long time she felt unsure of herself. How did she behave towards Teagan? Before she knew her status now she was just a Grey Warden. Just a Grey Warden. That title held a heavy responsibility and she was just realizing it.

Alistair raised an eyebrow. "You two know each other?"

Teagan looked at Alistair and then looked back at Elissa. "This is Elissa Cousland daughter of Teryn Bryce Cousland. Surely you know that? Elissa are you…a Grey Warden too?"

Elissa smiled sadly, "It was the asking price for my safety. Duncan was in Highever when Howe attacked our home. In order for him to take me to safety he asked my father for one thing, that I become a Grey Warden. My father agreed."

Alistair studied Elissa and felt anger and then sadness. She didn't trust him even after what they had been through together. Why didn't she tell him this? He didn't know what he could have done for her. But he could have been there for her for someone to talk to at least. He even understood her anger better now.

Teagan stared at Elissa in shock. He remembered the woman who laughed and joked and moved about court with grace. She was queenly but the common people could relate to her more than they could to Queen Anora. She now looked broken a hollow husk of what she once was.

"I see," Teagan cleared his throat. "Well I am glad you survived my lady."

Elissa nodded knowing the conversation was not over but moved to another time. "What is happening here Teagan?"

"I take it you came here to see Eamon? That might be a problem as he fell ill and we do not know what his situation is right now. No one has heard from the castle in days. No guards patrol the walls and no one responds to my shouts. The attacks started a few days ago. Evil things came out of the castle and attacked. We drove them back but many perished during the assault. As you can see many were wounded as well," Teagan nodded to the front.

"What sort of evil things?" Elissa wanted a better idea of what exactly they faced and not something someone deemed evil.

"Some call them the walking dead. Decomposing corpses who return from the dead," Teagan visually shivered. He turned to Alistair since he was the veteran Grey Warden. "Alistair I hate to ask you but we desperately need your help."

"I want to help," Alistair said. "But it's not just up to me."

Elissa looked at Alistair who was staring at her. She knew the decision fell on her. "Of course we'll help."

Alistair sighed in relief. Morrigan and Sten scoffed. "One would think we have better things to do," Morrigan muttered.

"Thank you!" Teagan brightened up. "Thomas go and tell Murdock what transpired here."

"Yes my lord," Thomas took off running and Elissa saw he seemed a little less gloomy.

Elissa looked at Teagan who was smiling at them. "Mayor Murdock is outside the chantry talk to him and see what he needs that you can help with. We also have one of the knights from the castle here with us. You might have passed him when you came down. Ser Perth is his name you can also check with him and see what you can do. I thank you my friends I really appreciate this."

It was a dismissal and Alistair, Morrigan, Sten and Leliana walked towards the entrance. Elissa and Lucky hung back and studied Teagan. "How is it really?"

Teagan closed his eyes and allowed himself to let down his guard. "I don't know Elissa if we'll live through the night."

"You will," Elissa looked around her at the women and children that were sitting all over the chantry. "I'll make sure of it." 

"Did your father suffer?" Teagan asked.

Elissa was shocked by the question. She looked back at Teagan and didn't exactly know how to answer. "My mother stayed with him I don't believe either of them suffered."

She hoped they didn't. She hoped they died before Howe got to them. She hoped one of his men was careless and ended it before they did suffer. She had no doubt Howe would have made them suffer. She didn't know what she would do if she found out they did suffer.

"And your brother?" Teagan asked.

"He was already on his way to Ostagar. Howe waited to attack us when our men were gone," Elissa explained. "What is he saying Teagan? What is that bastard saying for why he attacked?"

"He is calling your family traitors to Ferelden. That you are Orlesian lapdogs who pulled Cailan's strings," Teagan growled. "No one believes it Elissa. Everyone loved your family. It is a tragedy how it…ended."

Elissa nodded, "I best get to work."

Teagan watched her go. What really could he say to her to make it better? She was different from the woman he had once openly flirted with. He never once thought he would ever gain her hand in marriage because of her rank. But she wasn't the same woman he knew. This woman who walked away from him walked with the cautious grace of a lion ready to pounce. She had become a fighter.

Elissa heard the sobbing of a girl before she reached the group. She looked over and saw a young woman clutching a quilt and looking lost. Leliana also noticed it and approached Elissa. "Shall we see what is wrong?"

Elissa nodded, she couldn't help every villager but the ones she could help she would. In the end they found out the girl's name was Kaitlyn whose brother Bevin was missing. He had run off after their mother was dragged off during an attack. Elissa added it to the list of things to do before nightfall.

At the door Morrigan glared at Elissa. "He's probably dead you know."

Elissa studied Morrigan, "We don't know that."

"And this village? You might as well leave them to their fate," Morrigan looked around.

Sten nodded his agreement. Elissa's anger flashed. "I'm going to say this just the once Morrigan and Sten. You both come from different worlds than us. But these people deserve life as much as both of you. I can help give them the chance of living just as I've already given you. It is my responsibility to do so."

"As a Grey Warden you mean?" Morrigan scoffed.

"No, as a noble. I belong to the people. Our duty was to serve and to protect. My father taught me that and I will not turn my back on them just because of your petty feelings. We need an army to go after the archdemon. We don't have one at the moment. Arl Eamon is our link to pull Ferelden back together to face the darkspawn. We have to help otherwise we might as well kiss part of our army goodbye. Now either go back to camp or shut up and help," Elissa moved past them leaving Morrigan and Sten standing where they were.

Lucky, Leliana, and Alistair followed Elissa down the steps and out past the men who were shooting at targets. Elissa seemed to gain a little bit of respect from Sten who at first thought she was spineless. Sten looked down at Morrigan. "She has spirit," he admitted.

Morrigan stayed quiet she didn't dislike Elissa but she knew people and people were bound to take advantage of a person like Elissa and her willingness to do whatever it took to get her army. She sighed, "It's going to be interesting to say the least."

They ran around Redcliffe village gathering supplies. They found Bevin hiding in his house. Elissa bought their family sword in order to help the two reach Denerim. She planned returning the sword after the Blight was over if they lived. It should stay in the family and with it a new story could be forged how it helped stop the Blight. They also talked the drunk blacksmith to get back to work with a promise to look for his daughter in the keep.

The group helped boost the morale of the men who would be fighting. They ran into a dwarf merchant and his son who were making there way past the village. Bodahn and Sandal didn't want to get sucked into the village problems but they also needed rest. Alistair helped them get settled in storing their supplies in a warehouse and their ox team in a barn that Teagan said should keep them out of harm. Elissa found Sandal interesting. He seemed simple but he liked enchanting weapons and armor of which he told her all about so did Bodahn as she was buying all of his arrows. She had a feeling she would need as many arrows as she could find for the attack.

When they were finished doing everything they could to help prepare the villagers and planning their defense they all sat around the mill waiting for night to fall. It was decided Teagan stay in the Chantry with the villagers. If Eamon ended up being dead it was up to him to lead Redcliffe. Elissa and her small group along with the village militia and the knights who made it back from their search for Andraste's Ashes defended the village.

Elissa was sitting on a crate looking towards the castle and the lake and applied poisons to her arrowheads. Ser Perth, Eamon's knight came up to her crate she was perched on and sat beside her.

"Do you truly think we'll make it my lady?" he asked.

Elissa paused and looked at him. His green eyes looked wary and his red hair looked disheveled. He reminded her of Roland. Her heart hurt thinking about him but it was not as bad as it once was. She wondered if this would have been what he had become in her father's service given time. Or if Duncan would have chosen him to be a Grey Warden had Howe not attacked. "I do."

"What makes you so sure?" he asked.

"Because I have to make it through this night Ser Perth. I have debts to settle, people to save and an army of darkspawn to kill. I won't let anyone die tonight," she sighed. It was amazing how resigned she was to this life now. Before she would have fought it but the curse of the taint inside of her slowly made her realize this was her life now. She could not outrun the nightmares no matter how much she tried.

"We had a knight get recruited into your order. Did you know him Ser Jory?" Ser Perth asked.

Elissa froze and looked down at her hands that started to shake. She closed her hands into fists almost snapping the arrow in half. She felt eyes on her beside Ser Perth and she looked up to see Alistair who had heard the question.

"Aye I did," Elissa answered. "Were you friends?"

"He was my brother in arms. I take it he didn't survive Ostagar?" Ser Perth asked.

"No," Elissa shook her head. "I'm sorry he didn't. I understand he had a wife in Highever who was expecting a child?"

"Yes, her name was Helena," Ser Perth nodded.

"When this war is over and Highever is restored to my family I will make sure she is taken care of. It is the least I can do for Ser Jory," Elissa said remembering the terror in his eyes at the Joining.

"That is very kind my lady," Ser Perth smiled at Elissa. "If you'll excuse me."

Elissa watched him go and Alistair took his spot. "That was nice what you just said," he paused. The air had grown thick and both of them didn't know exactly what to say but knew something needed to be said. "You could have told me you know."

After a long moment of silence Elissa sighed. "I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry for not telling you Alistair. You told me about your family. I just…I felt that if I admitted who I was it would make it more real than what it already was. I know my family is gone. But admitting it, talking about it, I just couldn't. I felt like I would lose them all over again."

"I understand," Alistair put a hand on Elissa's knee. "I understand your anger now as well."

Elissa took a deep breath putting her last arrow in the quiver and put her hand over Alistair's. She left it there adding her warmth to his. "Are you worried about Eamon?"

"Yes," Alistair nodded. "He's really the only family I have."

"What about your mother's family?" Elissa asked.

"Well…about that, I have a sister. She lives in Denerim I only found out about her when I joined the Wardens," Alistair looked at Elissa. "When we go to Denerim, Elissa do you think we could go see her? To meet her?"

Elissa felt the ache in her heart that yearned for her family. She studied Alistair knowing he didn't have the type of memories she did but she would like him to. "If you want to Alistair we can go."

"Oh good," he breathed a sigh of relief. "I just…with the Blight if something ever happened to her I would regret not going to see her."

"Well we'll go meet her, or you can and I'll stand outside if you prefer, "Elissa smiled.

"I think I would want you to come in with me," Alistair bit his lip and looked across the lake at the castle. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind," Elissa smiled squeezing his hand. The sun was setting and the air was changing. "But first let's just make sure everyone in this village lives tonight."

"Good plan," Alistair smiled back at her.

The fight was bloody. When Elissa first saw the approaching mass of undead she felt a scream forming in her throat. What horrors had these villagers seen? The undead were their friends, neighbor's even family members. She even saw children amongst them. It only took one trying to bite her arm before she remembered that they only had one thought in mind. They were hungry and they would kill. So she had to kill them to protect the living. She prayed to the maker and heard Leliana and Alistair doing the same as they fought, each one of them praying that the dead soul found it's way to the Maker's side.

The fight started at the mill and they ended it in the village center. Elissa and Leliana climbed up on top of buildings surrounding the center and used height as an advantage to rain down arrows on the monsters that were attacking from the lake. The undead never seemed to cease. When one died it felt as if another took its place. Some were skeletons and she knew that these were not recent kills. It was a powerful magic that called the bodies of the long dead.

Alistair fought with one thing in mind survival. He needed to live through the night to make it into the castle to find out what was going on with Eamon. He was desperate to know and tried to hide his feelings but he couldn't hide it from Elissa. When the attack started he felt the magic that he was trained to recognize. It was an evil magic. He had no doubt in his mind that a demon was the cause of the walking dead. During a brief lull in the fighting he looked up at the castle and for a brief moment he thought he saw a child walking among the wall and he thought he could barely make out the cackle of a little boy. After killing more of the attackers he looked up at the castle again and the child was gone. He must have imagined it he thought.

When the sun started rising fog rolled in from the lake. Elissa and Alistair watched as the undead fell to the ground lifeless as they should have been in the first place. They heard the cheering of the villagers and the opening door of the Chantry. Elissa stared at Alistair and he stared back at her. They vaguely remember hearing people say everyone survived no one died. But Elissa was too tired to hear it. She climbed down from her perch on the blacksmith's shop remembering her promise to the man to find his daughter in the castle. She hoped she wasn't among those dead. Elissa moved through the corpses until she reached Alistair. Without saying a word he pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms around him closing her eyes tight and letting him keep her grounded. They needed to feel the warmth of someone alive. The dead haunted them in more ways than one. Both were happy to be alive but both had witnessed a horror in the world and knew it was not the last they would see.


End file.
